It took me a while to realize this but I loved you more than I loved myself
I prayed for you more than I did for myself
And it's for this reason that I have decided to let you go.
I have come to a point where I need to give you up in order to regain myself.

sometimes letting go
is the most courageous act

There is something oh so irresistible about you.

I sear when I am near you.

Your nurturing aura—a sense as if everything is okay.

I miss—.

I yearn—.

For what we could have been.

Or what we can be.

I have waited long to tell you my stance.

I am deeply wounded—no stitch will cure.

I am sorry.

There are more days ahead, but I’m certain I’m long forgotten.

Perhaps not the man of your ideals, but the man who understands you most.

I don’t believe in mystical creatures and fairytales with happy endings—

But I do believe in patience.

Greater things come to those who actively wait.

You are worth my wait.

With these feelings in heart and thoughts in mind, we can still be.

So until then, I will remain holding on.

Everything feels out of focus,
When we're not in the same room.
Spinning smiles of the hopeless,
Grip your words like an heirloom.

There's a noose around my guts
A lump in my throat
  & a feeling that I can't win
A staredown with Death
  & for once I have the upper hand
My soul runs faster than I can see
  & fear doesn't meet me here
What is this place?
  & why was I brought here?
What is this victory?
  & why is it mine?
If this is only a scent
I want to taste it full

Sitting at the edge of the water

Staring at the ocean

Wondering if it was as deep as my love for you

My eyes close, I let my thoughts of you roam

You take me into your arms

Your head pressed against my back

No words said, just feelings felt

It was perfect, nothing to could ruin it

I never cared about anything else

I never wanted you to leave

i needed you with me every night

You needed my heart, my love

I would give it to you over and over again

We should've been together forever

We made promises,

We made sacrifices.

Why did Fate have to be so cruel?

Happiness always seemed to elude me

I couldn't save you

Now I needed to be saved too



Your memories haunt me

I want you out of my life

But I take you back every night

I can't sleep without your image in my head

I wish I could see you one more time

Outside of my head

Feel your body one more time

Your lips on mine

I want to get lost in your eyes again

I need to hear you say you love me one more time

Could I ever fall in love again?

You took my heart when you left

I'm empty, just a hollow shell

I had a wall, I put up my defenses

You sneaked past and I fell

You left! No hugs, no goodbyes

I knelt beside your bed,

Holding your cold hands hoping you would feel it

Hoping you would hear my voice,

Find your way back to me

Silence...

I knew your were gone,

I couldn't accept it

How was I to live without you?



Lord take me too

She didn't deserve to be there alone

She needed me

I needed her

The thought of death never felt so appealing

What was on the other side?

I never really cared

Wherever she was, that was home

I would find peace and love again

Sitting at the edge of the ocean

Silently saying goodbye to the world behind

I got up to walk into the water

To let the ocean take me to you

I closed my eyes and smile

Inside I prayed for a sign

That I would be able to go on without you

The water seemed to give way as I proceeded

This was it, this was my last moment

Peace...

Then I felt it, a hand then a voice

All in my head I presumed

Somehow I get pulled out of my reverie

I turned and saw her pulling me



I wasn't going to let Fate ruin this for me

My lover was waiting for me

But I made a mistake

I looked into my strangers eyes

It captured me

Fear, compassion, pity, love?

Was this my sign?

I followed her lead out of the water 

I let her talk me out of it

Maybe I could continue living

Your memory forever etched in my heart

Back at the edge of the water

Staring at the ocean

My saviour's hand in mine

Supporting me, strengthening me

I'm sorry my love.

I loved you, I always will.

You're my past but she's my present

My future.

Fate was kind to me

Gave me a second chance

I would never be free of you

But this is goodbye.

They say a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. Is that why you don’t drink? So you can protect the secrets you cling to like a rollercoaster to its tracks.
What if you pressed that bottle to your lips, and let the fire of your throat consume you, would you tell me you can’t stop loving me, or would you tell me I was a mistake and you wish you never met me?  Either way maybe I’d finally know the truth and whether it was safe to finally stop loving you.