I think I have to let go
Because it’s starting to hurt
But the what if’s
Make the blisters bearable

You should've taught me how to LET GO ,
I stood dumb frozen without a clue, on
how to tackle your practical overlook .
You kept explaining that we weren't meant to be .
How could i grasp ,without bursting into tears.
You felt fine after you emptied your heart,
you played my emotions and conveniently left .
And i stayed back not knowing how to move ahead .
You should've taught me how to LET GO , beforehand .

If Manifestations were not enough for our daily devastations
For what an endless evil eye shall we look unto?
Shall we woefully explore in the jungles of scared destinations
In Oder to deep our feets into richdom, as we look up to.

Why all those indecent quest against the innocent ******
Had the panther not eager to pull the trigger
What a fearable havoc could you raise?
In spite of self insinuations against heinous crime.

Let's retain reliable personnel
That could be needed to counsel,
The rampant rampage revolving restlessly on the ground
That had tamper Hamper against honest souls

Where were those insightful intelligentsias of the era?
Had their thoughts not ought to hove
Us unanimously in that fretted Shove (?)
Which have been anchored in our ancestral shrine?

Let our deeds never be odious as a toad,
Hence we were being mewed to be eliminated
But the invincible creatures were future to lead
And born to bear the threatening of the thunderstorm.

I loved you,
The way i like maroon
The way i hate the moon
The way i breath
The way i need
You.

my poems
they weren't enough
to make you stay

it's fine, you'll come back
your feelings will boomerang

maybe not now
but perhaps someday

a year ago today, you left me
you sat there, at my darkest hour and decided
that i wasn't what you wanted anymore

i was naïve to believe in a forever for us
and even more so for thinking you'd save me from myself.

since then,
while i still feel a vacant spot in my heart
and in my soul,
i'm okay

even though i know you'll never call me again
i've grown to a point where if you came back to me,
i'd be just fine, without you.

I didn’t know I liked you when I saw you.
I didn’t know I liked you when you smiled at me either.
Honestly, I don’t know when looking at you made my heart rate slow down.
I don’t remember the first time you made my knees buckle.

I study you, sometimes.
As much as I can from a distance.
I learned the way your head touches the low ceiling when you stand up.
And how you neck cranes just slightly to the side, because obviously.
I have learned how the back of your neck looks when you’re worried.
But also when you’re thinking hard.  
And also when you’re laughing.

Sometimes I think I am making you up in my head.
I wonder if there is a dissonance between reality and fantasy,
But you won’t let me find out.

I want to hold your hand in the dark without anyone knowing.
I want to take you home to tell you what my day was like.
To have a meal with you. To sit across me on my bed.
Or to have my head in your lap.

I want to know what your day was like.
I want to know what bothers you when your head is on the table in a meeting.
I want to know what you have for lunch. And I want to know if you like eating your meals alone.
I imagine us as two separate minds silently chewing our meals in silence, crying as we watch our favourite shows. Alone, but together.

I want to know if you want me to know all the things I want to know about.

I want to find that sweet spot in your chest that I fit into when we watch something together.
I want to spend the night after that discussing the show in intense detail and end our stories with a kiss.
I want to share you in secret, and get to know you better.
But, you won’t let me.

I never want to say “What if”
So I’ll start with the “Why not”
Why not hold your hand under the table?
Why not find out what keeps you up at 3 am?
Why not find out what song makes you cry?
Why not find out what you don’t like on your pizza?
Why not find every corner of your body to tickle?
Why not let you hold my face when you kiss me?
Why not?

I keep thinking of the 4,000 ways to say these things to you
And 3,999 of them are just versions of “allow me”.
Allow me to knock on a door that’s shut.
Allow me to at least politely stand by as I ask for
A glass of wine, a laugh, a moment, a hand to hold.

this is me letting go

Letting go of the the good and the bad

The past, present, and future

Letting it all go

The past did not last till the present

And there will be no future

For you and I

This is me letting go

Letting go of the happy and the hurt

The lies, regrets, and resentment

Letting it all go

The lies made me regret and resent

But I must forgive and forget

All about you and I

This me letting you go.