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I use to run off of emotions, and things always worked out. Yes, my life is piratical, yet at times I do things that are out of my lane. I am not in love with change, I move with prayer. There are many times that my mind says go and Jehovah says no. So I work off of what I am told.
It builds my faith, endurance and trust in him.
I have many short term goals. All of the long term goals have been met. Raise my children, teach them to love Jehovah and love and protect my brothers and sisters. My short term goals are to make it in this system as I await the next. While it seems simple, you would really need to know me to understand, how not so simple I really am.
As my life changes, how strange things seem. So much time on my hands to sit back and just dream. Analyzing the lives that many choose.  That is because I am still young enough to make a whole new life of my own.
I have not seen anything that appeals to me. As we age, so does our common sense. I am grateful to Jehovah that throughout my youth, I had my children to fill my time.  I love my babies and I am so thankful that Jehovah changed my life!
Where would I be without them
If tomorrow never comes don’t mourn for me because I have finally found good sleep. No, I won’t be able to hear you as you post your fake love on social media. Because I will have finally found the true meaning of peace. I won’t hear or see your tears because I will be asleep. You won’t find me in heaven or your term of hell. For these things don’t exist for me. I will not be among the ones that reign in heaven although I do hope that they enjoy their new life. Nor will I be burning in hell, Hell is a common grave and no God of mine would treat people that way.
He is a God of love and mercy so know that, if tomorrow never comes I have the hope of the resurrection. Make sure that My children know that they are my heart and that I hope to see them when I awake. For those that I have spoke the word from the bible with, I hope that they continue to learn. If tomorrow never comes for those that lost contact stay lost. Please don’t come around I won’t be able to see or hear you. But there is no love lost.
If tomorrow never comes remember that those that you love must know it. Serve Jehovah to the full he is so amazing and deserves your love and so much more. Those that were there with and for me you mean the world to me. Don’t run up bills on student loans or trying to buy homes. Travel and give love where it’s needed and deserved. If tomorrow never comes I will see you in the new world. Same girl but we will be in a perfect world!
Tomorrow is not promised. While given away to leave a message it is wise to use it.
Andrew Saunders May 2018
If I'm wrong, I die.
I cease to exist.
But I know what it's like not to exist.
Or at least I can imagine.

I didn't exist before I did.
For billions of years.
And Mark Twain was right.
It didn't bother me in the slightest.

But I'll give it a chance.

I will read Awake!
And I'll visit the Hall.
And I'll use your name for God.

But what if you're wrong?
You feel joy, love, peace.
Meaning, purpose, certainty.
Those things elude me.

But what else?
Fear? Guilt? Isolation?
A hatred that you call pity?
Those things are beyond my reach.

An education cut short?
A marriage too long?
"Don't talk to her.
It's for her own good."

What if it's not?

There will always be people trying to hurt you.
It's easier when they have God on their side.

"Two eyes saw this, but two others did not.
I'll take my reward now.
Did I mention I'm good with kids?"

What if you're wrong?

Sure, your Tower is tall.
It dwarfs my cathedral.
And it does.
I stand in awe.

Your Tower is tall.
It Watches all things.
And it does.
But is it tall enough to see Clearwater?

You know, Celebrity Centers and personality tests.
Cruise and Travolta.
Your names are different: Michael Jackson and Prince.
But the songbook is the same.

Leadership is accountable to no one.
Dissent is a **** that must be eliminated.
The world is out to get you.
And critical thinking is a trap.

Families are vital (until they aren't).
Our authority will not be questioned.
We make no mistakes.
But we do become more perfect over time.

"But it's not 'disconnection,' it's disfellowship.
And they're not 'suppressives,' they're apostates.
And we live in no bubble.
But we'd rather not debate you."

"Besides, they're new.
They're small and they're few.
They have strange beliefs.
That's what matters, right?"

But it's not.
It's not what matters.

And it's not in my nature to hurt people.
I can **** when it's justified.
But I don't know that this is justified.

And consider the life of a poor, worldly soul.
Fear is no friend.
Guilt is a memory.
(Guilt for things that warrant no guilt.)

We see the world as it is.
Science is no threat.
Solitude is a choice, not a lesson.

Education is full.
Abuse is reported.
Families talk.

We are slaves to no Slave.

Of course these things are foreign to you.
Your book precludes them.
And your book is infallible.
But so are all the others.

So thank you for visiting, but I'm hedging my bets.
I wish you the best, but I'd rather take death.
I was raised religious but am now an atheist. This poem depicts an imagined conversation between me and a group of Jehovah's Witnesses. The content is informed by a very dear friendship with a Witness and a personal interest in cults and other high-control groups.
Renae Oct 2017
The only love I've ever known
I have never seen
The only ear that's ever listened
I've yet to hear him speak
But I know he speaks
Through pages I read
In moments
I relive in memories
The only love I've never known
I talk to more than anyone
I talk about him too
The only love I'll ever want
I have yet to meet
But somehow I know I will
One day

That day is worth living for
To me it means everything
Renae May 2017
Able to see everything
To act anywhere
(Proverbs 15:3; Hebrews 4:13)
A spirit person.
(John 4:24)
Invisible to you and me.
(John 1:18)
Visions recorded consistently
(Isaiah 6:1, 2; Revelation 4:2, 3, 8)

The spirit realm,
distinct from physical creation
A “dwelling place in the heavens.”
(1 Kings 8:30)
The Bible mentions an occasion
when spirit creatures
“entered to take their station”
God resides at a specific location.
—Job 1:6.

If God is not omnipresent, can he really care for me?

Yes. God cares deeply
—Psalm 34:18.
—Psalm 32:8.

Stars and other creative works
“declare the glory of God.”
(Psalm 19:1)
Telling us of
his power, wisdom, and love
Renae Feb 2017
Have you ever felt like
Some hearts believe they can see
Right through you
To your core and reasons
They think they know you
though they have no idea
They can't fit the shoes
You've been wearing
If only a glimpse were caught
Available; though it's not
What remains
Is hearsay and guessing

And this is the story
That's believed of me
How they think
I know what happened
Or what's happening
If I did anything
of my own initiative
Why did I too
Feel like a lunatic?
They say I chose my outcome
To fall apart
I am cold as ice
That I don't have a heart

So I freeze
in solitary confinement
I pray for my enemies
Crying tears of silence
Wishing death would come to me
Though it doesn't
I love and move along
Only enduring
That's my story
Don't get it twisted
Now don't you worry
It won't make a difference
I believe in the one
Who's never giving in
He fulfills his promises
& when I pray
He listens

Throughout our lives
We live many stories
Some we're amazing
In all of their glory
Sometimes in despair
We trip and fall
But we get back up
And the story goes on
Under the blanket
Of the cloak of night
I tended my garden
I reached for the seeds of the stars of night
And drew them down to Earth
To relish them forever
Sweet fruits, apples, and pomegranates
And rose buds in bloom
Permeated the air like sweet incense
I fed myself of the beautiful trees
Which grew too numerous to count
But nightmares arose from deep within
When I slumbered beneath the tree
I dreamt of falling
Fleeing to the ocean's depths
My bones were brittle
And my face was covered
In filth and stench
From roving in the desert
My hair was matted
And my eyes bulged from their sockets
My tears were running dry
I did not deserve this torment


So I sank and saught the truth


The bottoms were pleasantly beautiful
I befriended monsters there
And remember the seaweed
Toying with my hair
In time, I arose as Mother of the Sea,
As Venus
Yet another garden was claimed by me
And I harkened to their call
To come to know
This destiny of mine


I swelled in the gardens of others
Until I needed to return
When the student is ready
Their teacher appears
And I am a willing student of life!


That's when I saw him from afar
And my world would change forever
I peeked at him through the willows
He was shining iridescence itself
I've met others like him before
If I knew what was in store
Would I still approach?
Knowing me, probably!
He whispered that I was a wanted woman
He's the first that saw my soul as true
Everyone else misunderstood
Or feared my intentions
Towards them
While I hungered for fruits
I could never receive again


I am barred from the land by the river
Why would He do this to me?
The Universe's eyes aren't shut
And have 20/20 vision
His servant always maintained sure distance
From his most prized possession


He gave me his cloak
A garment of protection
The dark night
And elevated me thusly
I took on another form
As beautiful as any
I vowed not to harm his Master's garden

So I tended mine
With stars of night
And rain and snow
With bountiful deer and squirrels
If I knew the curses thrown
Would I have stayed in the sea
If I knew that ruling the skies of night
Would bring this upon me
I would still stay where I am today
I how this seventy tomes seven


My garden bears fruit gloriously
But I long to bring honor
To my garden
By making his mandrakes
My own


All hail to these
Three times three


The first pear I tasted
The first apple that fell
The first time I glowed
And knew the Never - Uttered

... the longing to be like Him! ...
.... the pang to be His mandrake!....
          The love we once shared
Please, God
Give me one more
Lord, what have I done?
He raised me up
And I dragged him down
Now we must spend eternity this way
In foxholes and carcasses
Always dying to relive the recent past
When morning glories were my favorite flower


... he shielded me
And I was cast away from the Garden
And it's fruits forever
I wander the desert once again
But this time
I am not alone


We roamed...
He offered me a desert flower
And bade me to plant
From it sprang a river stream  
To sustain our coagulating blood
It did not satisfy
We fell
And in each other's eyes we found the key
To drown out exile' s realities
I saw the sun's rays in his eyes again
The dark nights will not be gloomy anymore
The Name of God is no longer a four letter word
We fell down
Again and again
And the more we fell
The more, before our eyes
This garden
Our garden


We tended our garden
Until then


Contemplating on Jehovah
Grieves my heart
Until it rips open and I spill my blood
The animals retreat
My plants for
Because my blood has been spilled
Innocent blood
Within my own garden
My lover has left
My night lamp
To become the hunt
And perish
For the unspoken
.  The defiled .

We will never share our garden
Again evermore
This poem is long expect additions and edits
Based on Revelations of the Dark Mother
Coko Sep 2016
Growing up
She was considered bad
But she only wanted what the other kids had
Crazy night and hazy days
She wanted to party the "worldly" way
She wanted to live the forbidden life
So she snuck out at the dead of night
And experience life for time it seemed
Did things her friends wouldn't believe
She had to come back the next day
But now the girl had changed
You can say her eyes were open
And life wouldn't be the same
People tried to straighten her out
But the damage was done, there was no going back
She now lives life as she pleases
And has no one to appease
One day she may return
But even then the girl has learned
She has grown, she has flourished
From her past life that seemed so malnourished
Once she returns she will be shamed
But who care
For this naughty girl can not be tamed
My adventure leaving life as a Jehovah Witness. I"ll go back one day, but that day is not today
Livi M Pearson Apr 2016
Look at your torn fingers
Wrapping around transparent love
Grasping at what you perceive as real
Based on fear of losing everything
You could not bare the endless possibilities
That reside in your flawed mind
Speaking foreign languages of false gods
Cupids illusion for perfect hearts
The perfect rendition of serenity
Yet we are all flawed
Radioactive identities in the ***** hands of death himself
Pleading... praying for a drip of pure water to let my demons go
To help me see a vivid love once agian

Travelers of ancient times define pathways as divine temptations
Paths that can lead a flock of lambs to kingdom come or to a deathly sun
Blind eyes could see the words
Etched deep inside stone tablets
Jehovah be of golden truth
He envisions all likes of love
That wills me to make my fingers bleed
And grasp what i can not see
For faith be the only reason why

I know its real
Spirtual poem for a sunday :D
SøułSurvivør Mar 2016
Jehovah God the Father
Looked down upon His Son
In terrible pain and agony
But knew what He'd begun
Christ's blood was pure as driven snow
So He could be The One

He would have to look away
As Jesus took on Sin
But He so loved the World
He gave His belov'd to win
All the souls that were foretold
To accept and honor Him
For Jesus Christ was blameless
He was the Perfect Lamb

Yahweh The Almighty
Saw Jesus in His tomb
Christ was sent to Paradise (1)
To declare the Gospel's Truth!

Then to hell's dark doors
Our Mighty King was taken
Took the keys of hell death and grave
From the hands of Satan!

Before the dark army's eyes
He went up through the air!
Leaving the Prince of the Darkness
Fuming in his lair!

God the Abba Father
Gave us Victory when
He sent His Resurrection Life
And His Son Rose Again!

Jesus Christ has Conquered!
Everything is DONE!
He was the Perfect Sacrifice


(C) 3/26/2016
(1) Paradise is also known as
Abraham's Bossom
It is where all souls of righteousness
Went before the advent of Jesus Christ.
After His death Jesus went there to preach
So that they could believe on Him
And could ascend to heaven. He also did
The same in hell.
Luke 23:43
1 Peter 3:19

I don't believe "Easter" is the date
Of Jesus' actual resurrection. Just like
Christmas isn't the date of His birth.
The emperor Constantine changed
The dates to correspond to pagan
Holidays. I don't really celebrate
Easter for that reason. But have a
Great day tomorrow!

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