Bright lights are deafening
And sounds cloud my vision.
Voices are magnified and
Spaces are enclosing as I
Gasp for breath, as I
Muffle small cries.
Faces. So many faces
Blurring together and I
Grab at the air, begging it
To quit it's fighting with
My stubborn lungs.
It's incredible.
All this noise, all these screams,
And I haven't moved an inch.

They see castles in the air, I see air in the castles
They see the end of the road as I see the road in the end
the treacherous enemy in every friend
whilst I see potential allies in every adversary
they see the peril in crossing the sea
while I tap the perilous adventures in what they see
they see the horizon of the dawn
I see the dawn of the Horizon
They time love, I love time
they see a storm in the thickest of clouds
I see a silver cloud in the heaviest of storms
they see the future, I see the millennium
they see the maximum, I see the minimum
they sleep to dream, I dream to sleep
they keep to give, I give to keep
They find a burden in the load yet I find the Lord in my burden...
They see the words in the lines, I see the lines in the words
They see shards in the whole as I see the whole in the shards
They see a Caterpillar even in the most beautiful butterfly
I see a floret butterfly in the spine-chill of Caterpillars
they see stalagmites and stalactites, I see future pillars
They see death in life, I see life in death...
because whilst they are people of the world
I am a world of the people, an outsider
beating the odds, going against currents
breaking the rules and gladly paying the price...
they view the game of life by the odds
I view the odds by the game instead and
truthfully speaking, odds don't count...
We all look at one thing, but I see
different, I always will...

As for me, life has also taught me the lesson that not all who say goodbye want you to go,not all who push you away want you to leave, not all who run tantrums and throw it on you are angry at you and not all that ignore you do not notice the effort you put in, no... Sometimes the beautiful goodbyes are just skins covering cold hearts, sometimes "just go" is camouflage for a soul desperate for you to stay, someone will shove you so hard away, just to see how much fight you'll put up to stay and those who are angry at you are at times simply angry at themselves for setting so high a bar as you keep scoring below the bar, they notice your efforts but they want and know you can do more than you are doing... All this is because we live in a crazy world where people say I miss you but seldom mean it, I love you but seldom feel it, I have faith in you but seldom believe it, I promise you but seldom fulfil it and the only test for truth is sometimes putting up a wall and seeing how many will fight to get through after all if someone can't fight for, they ain't worth loving or trusting for All's fair in Love and war, so says Shakespeare... If they won't fight for you, they should at least fight with you and if they can't fight with you, maybe it's best you stand alone against all odds than count on people who won't face up "for worse" and are only here for the better, so always understand, some of us will push you away, ignore and explode on you just to see if you really care enough to read between the lines for only those that can understand our ironies and hear our silence loud and clear are worth our time for most of us have invisible wounds and scars, and only eyes that see what's not there can tend to those...

An introvert sees the world as it is,
deciding still, not to engage.

My mind gets exhausted
and my body reacts.
I was feeling too crowded,
Now I'm half-dried.
When there's everybody,
I can't be alone.
Now I'm a pantomime.
The sheer weight of the universe
is on my own.

Me against myself,
concrete and stone.