trying
can you try too hard
too much
too strong
too fast
I cannot stop my thoughts
they circle and circle
and find you again
am I falling?
how can I, if I cannot recall your face

I often find myself seeking validation from words that were never written for my tongue

Caging myself behind walls made of letters still undefined

pacing the corners of my fears wondering what is being said in another’s mind

I run from the words that define my faults, disowning them and leaving them behind

But I still carve them into the crevices of my skin, to remind myself of everything that I’ll never be

Then, I write a stranger's name beside them so that I can blame someone else for my insecurities.

first
I can see you from the distance
Ginger hair and tall figure
Then your arms lift me up
Close, my heartbeat fastens
Your voice reaches deep
Your pace is fast
Am I chasing after you already?
will you let me catch up
I see you look at me
Your eyes, a puzzle
What you’re hiding
are you with me, or else
far away
lost to me
we laugh and talk
time flies
moment flickers
disappears
you were mine only then

"i wish i could have your brain"
"let's trade minds for a day"
"it must be easy being you"
are so ******* triggering
cause you have no idea what it's like
to be me, to be a prisoner of my own mind
to be drowning in a whirlpool of darkness
to be so full of self hatred and insecurity

Life’s just around the corner
Shall I peek or stay hidden
Arms of comfort keep me here
Yet I wander what’s out there
Will my dreams be realised
If I risk it now
Take a step
Take another
All is well I’ll see you on the other side

I will stop
saying your name
as if it is a goodbye
as long as you don’t stop
chasing after my fingers
when I am about to leave

I am a flower
all of you must know?
Not really famous you see,
the rose stole that place.
Am I not a flower with beauty ?
Rose comes with thorns I come sin free .
Then why am I not used by lovers to express their glee?
Lately as I grew in the meadow,
all my followers questioned me .
They say they made me leader,
to defeat roses ,our worst enemy.
I tried so hard to make them believe
that we can live together through our friend ,humanity.
But they were all against it
and trampled me on the ground.
Like 'The Patriot' the years of hard work drowned.
I was their leader
I wanted to stand for the right .
and my friend 'the rose'
helped me sitting by my bedside.
We were both of the same ideals
both of us were thrown out.
Well now we tended to each other
as our days whisked by.
The devil flowed into their petals
we can't do a thing .
but I wish we could
I wish the roses and tulips could be friends
till time's end.
Gunnika mehra

They say these stretch marks are my tiger stripes,
signs of my strength.
But I have never wanted to be a carnivore.
I don't want to prey on those smaller than me,
the ones so fragile I think they may crack.
I want to be a sunflower.
Long, and tall, and slim,
tilting toward the sunlight,
not just unafraid
but yearning to be seen.

I have not felt the sun on my skin in so long
that I have forgotten how it feels to burn,
to let the rays rest on my goosebumps
and sink into the warmth.
I think I am destined to be cold.
To shiver under my own scornful gaze in the bathroom mirror,
because even though I only ate dinner,
I still woke up fat.

I never asked to be covered in stripes,
these scars that have defined me and
defiled me.
Before I even knew what it meant to be marked
I knew to hide.
I knew to pray that the earth would swallow me whole,
because at least in the ground nobody has to see me.

The sunflower turns to face the sun,
to feel the warmth on its petals.
And one day I will peel off these layers of death on my bones
and I will face the sun
and let it burn.