Curl up into a ball
Perhaps they won't get over the wall
Shut tight with steel beams
No open cracks or broken seams
Put on the mask you hide behind
Your true face, they will not find!
Locking up all of your flaws
Soundproof walls, to hide their calls.
Plaster smiles onto your face!
The less they see, the less they take.
Too tall to climb, too strong to break.
Hidden, happy, and quite safe.
The wall is up
And all others are out of luck.

With your parting,
the sun was pushed aside
by grey clouds and silver moon,
dropped down below the horizon
and didn't rise again for some time.
Summer ended and autumn began
too soon, with leaves coating the
rooftops and sidewalks and
everyone talked about the doom
riding wind, swift,through the town.
        Down and down, everything fell,
but the light did not touch a thing.
Darkness was the language,
darkness was the doctrine.
In the plazas and asylums,
I saw this shift in reason,
wisdom falling from the brain
like flesh from the bone,
driven hard down into dirt and
left alone. The madness swelling
outside like cold air in a lung.
Then came the snow with an angry
wind, hung in the halls and bedrooms, hospitals and cathedrals,
me asking, "why did you go?"
The radio crackled with static fear,
and everyone who hadn't gone mad
went mad and disappeared into
crumbling homes with ***** windows, their fates forever sealed,
like pointless letters into envelopes.
       I wrote you from the madhouse,
hand shaking with indecision,
words risen out of dread,
words you read but never reached you, telling you that,
with your parting, the whole world
has gone to hell.

My therapist acts like I'm normal,
like changing my clothes
four times a day,
or locking the car doors and
screaming at the top of my lungs
because people keep interrupting
my cigarette break at work is
what most people are doing
with their lives.
When she asked me if I ever
thought about hurting myself
and I said, "at least twice a week,"
she just nodded while smiling.
Hurting myself - it's always me
that hurts me, no one else.
I guess that's something
to smile about.
I guess that's normal.

In the dead of night
These lines come to life
This is the legacy
That I leave behind
Am I awake or blind
I can't seem to find
The light on the other side
Am I, am I alright
Still holding on tight
Know a little, still, don't know a lot
Is this the way, I keep going off
Think I'm lost
I keep going off
I think I'm lost
I think I'm lost

Lost in the deep end
I think I might be drowning
Too much, too late
I've gone a little overboard
Trying to float
Keep my head above the water
Seas are getting rough
Do I say too much, too soon
Suffocating,
air leaving me like an open balloon
I've had enough of the strangers
Messing in my brain
Ever live in life
Wishing you were dead
Late nights in bed
I'm out of my head
It's not right,
give a little, lose a lot
That's how it goes

In the dead of night
These lines come to life
This is the legacy
That I leave behind
Am I awake or blind
I can't seem to find
The light on the other side
Am I, am I alright
Still holding on tight
Know a little, still, don't know a lot
Is this the way, I keep going off
Think I'm lost
I keep going off
I think I'm lost
I think I'm lost

Spill a little blood,
give into the screams
Frightened by these horrific scenes
Behind the silver TV screen
Looking for a script
I could apply to life
Hate not knowing where I'm going in this life
Have you got a plan
That maybe I could apply to mine
Always need a way out
Another formulated escape
I think I need to get out of here
Before I lose myself
Turn into something else

In the dead of night
These lines come to life
This is the legacy
That I leave behind
Am I awake or blind
I can't seem to find
The light on the other side
Am I, am I alright
Still holding on tight
Know a little, still, don't know a lot
Is this the way, I keep going off
Think I'm lost
I keep going off
I think I'm lost
I think I'm lost

There are gremlins in the closet
Monsters underneath my bed
Something invading my skies
Can't see what it is
Don't know what it is
Voices keep whispering in my ear
Not sure I want to do
What it is I hear
Something just sunk inside
Think my heart could stop at anytime
Pains in my chest
Vital signs, I'm still alive
Somethings out there
Coming for me
Reapers here R.I.P

In the dead of night
These lines come to life
This is the legacy
That I leave behind
Am I awake or blind
I can't seem to find
The light on the other side
Am I, am I alright
Still holding on tight
Know a little, still, don't know a lot
Is this the way, I keep going off
Think I'm lost
I keep going off
I think I'm lost
I think I'm lost

©2017 Written By Benji James

What could I do, realizing my weak things?
Burning old photographs, erasing feelings....
Horror shapes my precious, God-given talent
Into bursts of madness and unforgiving lament.

I seek order in chaos, a cure for my illness,
But all I gain is the loss of friendship and willingness.
Entering nowhere, the land of the banned creatures,
A sea full of fragmented, thought-tortured sleepers.

Afraid of unkind, honest, barren charges,
I surrender to true dread, alienate, hide, miss.
Cut the cords and go deaf, go far away from temptation,
Tie myself to loneliness and melt into contemplation.

Answers will come, within my mind and endless worlds await,
Twisting words of treacherous friends remind my futile hate
I cannot love, I cannot trust, I cannot act as normal...
Perhaps burning memories deem forgiveness immor(t)al.