it's past 12 midnight
-and that should just be okay
  given with my quarantine body clock,
but i haven't slept for the past 36 hours:
  -i walked around the city,
  -i exhausted my brain with responsibilities,
  -i distracted myself with hobbies,
but i just can't seem to sleep.

it's amazing how overthinking really rallies with your mind,
and how it affects your whole biological being.
it's amazing how, one brief moment with a stranger,
bugs me like this.

his lips,
his warm embrace,
his sweet voice.

i just can't seem to sleep,
i
need
him,

I miss you.

Your voice repeats in the back of my head. Your touch now a distant memory. I remind myself, you are not mine, you were never mine.
I remind myself - you can’t lose what was never yours - but I feel as if I have been stripped of my most prized possession. I miss the sweet nothings you'd mutter, I miss the way you spoke. The thought of you pains me yet I continue to think of you. I cannot bring my mind to a halt. Memories of you and I flood my mind as I fear that I may forget you. But how could I forget you. I brush my fingers across my chin the same way you once did. I still feel the grooves of your fingertips. I am heavy. The weight of sorrow and sadness flow through me like a raging stream, crashing, and breaking me down from within. Every inch of my skin craves for yours. I am numb. I guess this is goodbye. You were the one who showed me how to love myself. You lit a ever-burning flame within. You will linger forever in my heart. I miss you. Oh god do I ******* miss you.

I had you. I lost you. I miss you.

You will burn forever in me.

Bouquet of pink roses wrapped in conversations
All I wanted was to see you happy and fill the vase
Your door will never be wide open for this affection
But I'm happy that I'm allowed at the doorstep place
Because I'm the lucky winner of past rejections
I'm bad at connecting strings and keeping bonds
Yet the doorbell still rings a welcoming sound
And when I stand on the welcome mat, the world warms
Because I'm the lucky winner in your embracing arms