I wake up every morning,
Filled with life,
Flowing with vigor,
Beaming with enthusiasm.
The day is here for me to create,
A total blank canvas for my own creation,
An open page of endless possibilities,
Just ready for me to make the first move.
I could...
Paint a self portrait,
Create a new dance step,
Model something out of clay,
Write love letters to myself,
Endless energy for creative play.
But first, let's get the basics out of the way.
Breakfast, cup of tea and the news,
Teeth, ****, then shower,
Some light housework and errands,
Decide what to cook for dinner.
I do a quick run to the supermarket,
Pick up some lunch on the way home,
Put on that load of washing,
Send that email I need to write,
And get my dinner prep done.
Exhausted by all this running around,
I need to recharge.
Brew a quick cuppa,
Put my feet up to rest,
Take a quick 10min power nap,
And then the day is mine to create.
...What was I going to do again?
Oh yes! Spontaneous day of creation,
Harness my relentless optimism for the day,
Surrender to the flow of magical possibilities,
Channel it into active, positive modes of creation.
But the time in my day is getting limited,
Enthusiasm is starting to wane,
And my momentum is being lost.
I start to think about all the mess it will create,
And the thought of cleaning it up.
....All my creative enthusiasm is gone.
Silenced by my default daily activities,
Routine and discipline are my trauma response,
Fear of being judged and labelled as lazy,
Pleasure and creativity gets lost along the way.
I get stuck in my need to present perfectly,
Making sure everything is in order before I can start my day,
Chores before play,
Hard work before reward,
Vegetables before dessert,
I am pre-programmed that enjoyment is a bargaining chip.
But that rule is a silly made up illusion,
A trauma response inherited from our parents.
Humans are naturally creative beings,
Creativity, joy and play are our default,
Our true catalyst for feeling alive.
Life in its beauty is all about creation,
It flows through our veins as magic,
Unable to be captured or stored,
It needs to be embraced in the moment,
Regardless if your bed has been made or not.
Creation is something I have to commit myself to,
A nourishing practice that fulfils my soul,
A rejuvenating outlet that brings me back to life,
A daily non-negotiable for my well being,
A purpose greater than working the 9 to 5.
Because if we aren't creating,
What is the point of life?
Eat, sleep, marry and pay taxes?
That isn't the life I expected for myself,
This won't be the life I create for myself.
Autobiographical piece about the daily struggle I have to let go and create each morning. Creation is our birthright.