Another Night Here
Yelling in the Hallway
Can’t make all the words
Never can when they are drunk
A knife was involved
And a chain of some sort
They are pleading their cases
Pleading their sides
Cops patiently listening
He pulled knife on me
She’s a *****
Sir please calm down
He’s a drunk
He stole my chain
Now I get the picture
I’m peeking out
I’m a peeker
Goes on for a bit
Ma’am Did he hit you
He pulled a knife
I was cutting something
Sir did you pull a knife on her
He threatened me
Did you threaten her
I threatened to throw her out
It’s his place
When this is figured out things calm down
She just wanted to be heard
She just wanted to be loved
He just wanted to be left alone
Don’t we all.
Don’t we all.
She reached out
out of the blue
I was pleasantly surprised.
Much time had passed
passed since the past.
We made small talk
talk of our lives.
Things we had been through
Then she said
I should post more recent
Photos of how I look now.
She caught me off guard
Most are very recent
recent in terms of how I look.
So, I told her.
She almost seemed mad.
Mad that I didn’t look worse
worse from the wear and tear.
And after a few more digs
digs at me
why we stopped
stopped all those years ago.
I used to put up
with more than I will now.
Now I try to do
whats good for me.
When you are hard
Shows to the world.
Some people can take
more of a beating than
Others are more fragile.
Which type I am I don’t know.
So I erred
Erred on the side of
And said my goodbye.
Goodbye to her once more.
We used to fight sometimes
late at night
after too many drinks
too many cigarettes
too many insults
thrown back and forth
First we’d praise each other up
then run each other down
to the lowest notch
There were good times too
But after a while they dried up
The way some things do.
Couple last screams
And I would hear some clanking in my kitchen
Didn’t pay too much attention
She’d go out with her big purse
“Should you be driving?”
I would go to the window
Yell down at her on the street
“Get outta here you bottle bandit!”
I didn’t want her to go
She may have been a ***** thief
But she had a sort of magic
The way some people do.
I bumped into her years later
In a liquor store
same one we used to go to
I wondered if she remembered all the fun
But the look on her face
underneath the smile
showed the pain.
The way some faces do.
I saw a seagull today with a broken wing.
He was walking down Bleecker Street.
I never saw a bird move so fast on his feet.
He was really haulin’ ***.
I smiled to myself.
And I swear he looked right at me and smiled back.
It made me realize
Sometimes, you just have to make the best
out of what you’ve got.
Will Rogers used to say he never met a man he didn’t like.
I admire people like him.
But I’m not one of them.
I meet people I don’t like every day.
It just happens.
Little Grudges, my friend Sal used to say.
“You have a lot of little grudges.”
My neighbor for example, banging the trash can lids
Outside my window
Two in the morning
Not that it woke me up
But I get up to look
Peek down there
Naturally nosey person that I am
And he’s pushing pushing
What in hell is he pushing at that hour?
So, Will Rogers I am not.
I probably wouldn’t have liked him either.
The Captain once told me
You can have freedom of the mind
But sometimes it costs you “freedom of the body.”
I did not quite get it at first. Then I realized,
When you want true freedom of the mind
And to do all those things you want
Either you trade your health or your liberty.
Or worse yet, you trade your mind in your search for its freedom.
Once in a while you get away with things.
I got away with a lot.
But not all of it.
There were definite costs.
Imposed on me by those who are themselves trapped by
their own stuff
So they resent freedom in others when they see it.
The chains of guilt weigh heaviest of all
On the mind that thinks it’s just a body,
I knew better.
I wouldn’t tap out.
I used to not understand why people got so upset over breakups.
I mean, there are 6 billion people on earth.
There’s bound to be another one that fits the bill.
Then it happens.
You like someone.
And they chase you.
Get you into something you never planned.
You decide to give it a shot.
You take a gamble.
Then , Boom! they’re gone.
That stuff hurts.
Often, pain comes from emotions we don’t understand.
Things which don’t make sense.
Our body deals with it somewhere in the stomach.
Me, I am a gambler.
You have to take shots in life.
Sometimes they work out.
Other times, they don’t.
But if you never push in all your chips
You don’t have a chance at winning the ***.
Not this time.
Maybe next time.
Certain people in life leave strong impressions on us,
By their sayings we agree with or positions we abhor.
When these people are no longer around,
their marks make themselves known in various ways.
You are in my thoughts often.
You were quite the square peg.
I think back to the odd ways you did things.
A True Rebel.
But not a rebel just for the sake of it
Nor in order to receive the attention society pays to such people
A rebel because you make up your own mind on things.
"Never be afraid to change your mind," you used to say.
That stuck with me.
So although you are not here with me,
You are never truly gone.
For a while you said I was the one for you.
But You Took Your Own Advice
And Changed Your Mind
And in the now, I am ok with that.
I think we stayed at every good hotel in the West.
We were really living the good life.
Nothing like a little drug money to help you indulge in
the finer things.
"Easy come Easy go"
Only people who have never sold drugs can say that.
Dealing with whackos
Getting robbed at gunpoint
Driving across the country with enough weight to get you
Life in Prison.
Stressful. Very stressful.
So we'd stay in Fancy Resorts.
Knowing one day it would all end
May as well enjoy it while you can
Because eventually you get caught
And if you make it out alive, all you have are the memories.
Like that time we were staying at the Royal Palms
Next to the former President's family.
Getting up from the pool, smoking crystal behind the cactus
While the former first lady swam laps.
She still looked pretty good in a bathing suit.
I went by your old place on West 26th Street
Your name was no longer on the buzzer. I pushed it anyway.
When an Asian woman answered I knew you were gone.
Nobody coming out of the building seemed to remember you
Just goes to show.
I went by the old diner at which we used to eat
Same handwritten signs, same menus
Same old tables.
But no you.
I found it strange that the waitress remembered me but couldn't remember
The guy who'd been going there for decades.
Maybe I should have brought a photo
To spark her memory
Maybe I should have reached out to you,
Bitten the bullet and swallowed my pride
Because now the fight seems trivial
Its the rest of the stuff that seems important,
All the good stuff we shared.
People used to sew patches on old jeans and put new soles
on favorite shoes.
Modern life has changed. We throw things out and buy new.
But some things are irreplaceable.
They are worth the effort a repair would require.