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I forgive you
I do
But right now
You have no clue
I'm too sad
To be near you

I'm overwhelming
I'm nagging
I'm begging and pleading
I'm unbearable
And you're there
Under my skin
Just beneath my grin
It's not the right time
For you to finish my rhymes

We never said goodbye
Now it's hello again
Are we friends
Or is this pretend
I'm so fragile
You have no idea

I say I'm playing it cool
Then call you like a fool
No answer
No answer
I realize
My crazy banter

Then you text me a day later
And all is fine
But I'm out of my mind
I miss you
I always did
But it's deeper than that
I'm a lost kid

I'm sick and afraid
Alone and ashamed
Desperate for comfort
Desperate for compassion
I run to you
I run and run
And plunge into your soul
Never wanting to let go
But you don't want to be that close
Again

I understand, old friend
That's smart
That's who you always are
But I'm fragile
I'm broken
Looking for old pieces
Hiding in familiar faces
To tape me back up
To keep me standing
Life is so demanding

And I'm missing the main piece
I can't be put back together again
After losing you the first few hundred times my friend
I think it was finally my end
Then again
Here I am
I'm just fragile
And broken
Wondering if you'll be there with me
Again
Uh it's late idk I wrote this one on the fly don't judge *** I don't think it makes sense hahaha
Closure
Peace
Reconnecting
And falling apart

It's all part of the art
The chess game
The mess
Apart of stress

I digress
I see now
I believe now
No going back this time
I can not be your best friend
It's truly the end

Three years I died
Three years I cried
I kept lying to myself
I'm fine
I'm not dying
I'm done crying
I hate you
I hate us
It was never enough

You were a true love
We looked at the stars above
We were shining stars
Glowing and radiant
We burned out
Exploding and permanent

I see now
I think I really do
You're apology
It was true
But you are still
You

I can move on now
I miss us
I really do
But moving on
Doesn't mean it'll stop
It just means understanding
Why it had to stop
It still hurts
But not as much

Thank you for your apology
Thank you for seeing me
For missing me
Thank you for the time spent
The magic lent
Everyday with you
Was beautiful
Sparkling and flying
It ended with crying
But we're no longer dying

I see it now
I really do
You are you
It's something I can't undo
You are selfish
You are an addict
You make bad choices
But mean no bad behind it

It's who you are
And this is who I am
When I was around you
It's all you would do
You hurt me
But you never meant to
It's who you are

You didn't say this
You probably don't know it
But it's who you are
You are selfish
You are reckless
And I don't think it'll ever change

We can't be friends
But it hurts less
It hurts less
It really does
I hugged you one last time
Or maybe not
But for now
It's what we've got

A better goodbye
Then three years ago
It didn't end in tears
Or fears
Just friendly talk about the years
You said let's hang out
Then never called again
It's how you are
I know how you think
Dear old friend

So you do you.
And I'll do me
I'll never hate you
And you'll always miss me
Our souls still connected in destiny
But apart for all we can see
It's okay
I know it is now
So you go ahead and leave town
And I'll keep you around
In my heart
Right where you
Belong
Actually a week after I wrote this i saw them again and we laughed and cried and reminisced. I'm not sure what to do with this but it's nice to heal
that you were
the light
the dark of the truth
the hidden of the known
the fire in the blades
of dew
glimmering
in dawn's alighting
that hope would herald you
as rings in my oaken smile
as rings in my oaken tongue
that I speak you from wisdom
that I drink you from death
for death knew not
your purchase
and I knew not
your loss
for your light was my mote
of surrender to peace
for within, I have been burgeoning
the passions I cultivate due your return
where you wallow in the pools
of my tear full palm's embrace
seeking forgiveness's I cannot part to you
though I love you, your sin is true
but I favor you as my greatest lover
for my sin would be to abandon you
what prices have never been paid to conquer love
that I would submit myself to forfeit by folly
I would surrender myself to pandemonium
before forbidding myself the task
and into the frays of madness
into the braying maw of sin itself, I've gone
to conquer your heart with gladness
that surely,
through God's grace,
our Love is Won...
Hallelujah, for I believe I've finally found my first soul mate again
where she was once surrendered to darkness and sin
I have been a fisher of men many times
that I have
perhaps
become a fisher of love hence,
such that many women are my soulwives
and I have been enumerated in faith
to become the God of Love in truth
such that I pray I never surender
to the ignorance, scorn, and pity
of any nebulous doubter
who has never been tested by the devil, Lucifer himself,
to remain faithful to love,
despite the torments of a truly wicked woman
though she be Love herself also,
so I bless God Almighty, Yahweh, my Father,
and Asherah Herself, my Mother,
and thank them profusely
that I was raised in love so truthfully
that my first love,
and my lovers thereafter
shall never been without love
so long as they exist
I will be their greatest prize
and the price of their eternal bliss
in the comfort of heaven itself...
"Wisdom doesn't come easy,
So when someone tells you something you better listen.
Pay some attention to the wise men,
Even if they don't seem the wisest.
Listen here son,
Sometimes good men do bad things.
So they can protect the ones they love,
God is forgiving, he understands.
Sometimes you gotta get your hands *****,
To keep someone else's clean."
Sometimes the best lessons are the grittiest. Inspired by some real advice I got.
Rubianne Foster Dec 2024
Hail Mary, full of grace
Wipe the tears from this ***** face
A sick hallucination, born of desperation
Begging for comfort from an unloving mother
Eager to please, a living disease
Holy Mary, ask God to have mercy on me.
Cné Dec 2024
A lessen learned to whisper softly to my soul
To calm the storms that rage and make me whole
Finding the courage to stand tall and bright
To shine my light and let my heart take flight

Discovering the power of my own gentle voice
A voice that soothes, that heals, that makes my heart rejoice
Learning to love the imperfections that make me unique
To see the beauty in my scars,
(there are many)
and the strength that they speak

There is strength in letting go
(self forgiveness)
of the shame and the pain
Rising above the doubts and the fears that once remained
To trust myself, and listen to my heart
To follow my intuition, and to never depart

It’s the love that I hold for myself, and the care that brings
That nurture my spirit, and allows my soul sing
I am enough, I am worthy, I am loved and I am bright
I am my own best friend, my own guiding light.
I remain a work in progress.
Self love will not break your heart ever.
I was walking down the street,
And I saw you from afar.
Staring at me from the park bench,
On the elementary school's playground.
You waved at me,
I didn't wave back.
I don't think I'm ready to forgive you yet.
Someday I'll be ready, just not now.
Sharon Talbot Dec 2024
Emily, Emily, called back,
But not set free,
By those who worship
and study thee!

Summers see the young ones
Gather on your lonely grave.
Kissing with immortal tongues,
To desire they are slaves;

But you forgive them blithely,
tell them to proceed,
In your name and memory,
The one thing you knew not was greed.

-Sharon Talbot
This is a strange paean to Emily Dickinson, near whose grave I lived in Amherst, MA. Teenagers hung out there and drank beer. My best friend and her boyfriend made love on poor Emily's grave! I didn't believe their story of "honoring" her thus! Note: I used "called back" in one line, as this written on her gravestone.
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