being low is ok until you get to know
that you are depressed
with depressed mind
suffering from so called depression
starting from there everything hits so differently
even the tears which fall down asks more for it's successors
tips of curvy smile's feels like thorns
hitting through tiring all the whole day
feeling the feel of being fake
hating the hate of loving yourself
still couldn't stop any!

Forever wanting to join the 27 club because I can’t stand the pain.
I catch feelings for people I shouldn’t  because I know I’ll never date them, Or marry them.
My hearts been broken too many times I don’t know how many more times I can do this.
Forever trying to help others, but when I need it  no one comes.
People showing their true colours on how they value you in their life.
Trying to learn my own worth even though I feel worthless.
Realising these people would just fake cry at your funeral and they couldn’t even take a minuet to ask you what you’re doing for your birthday.

One day I’ll just vanish off the face of the earth and they probably still wouldn’t text you.
You’ll soon realise what you’ve lost and you’ll have to learn to accept your

The News Bizz
Turn on the news what do you watch?
Buy a newspaper what do you read?
Browse an online news site to see what?
Download the local news app it says?
No matter when or where you get your news
No matter the time of day or location
On the toilet or in an airliner or in a bar
The main reason is why it happened
And why you read it

Do you want the latest updates in Asia?
The latest political happenings in Europe?
Military adventures in the Middle East?
All of this news is fake and made up
The ruling elite chose what happens
And the when and the why and make it
This is your news made by them
To keep us all under control
To scare and subjugate us
What can we do except wake up?
And then are we the news?
Nothing but pawns on a board

I have always been the sweet charm and favorite of all people at home,
But, there always comes a but,
But I am "the girl" I must understand,
But I am "the eldest"  I must know,
But I am "the quietest" I must be smart,
But I am "the senior" I must set good example,
And in this series of But and examples I managed  to keep my dream and passion to myself in order to be perfect for my younger,
But I always sit and wonder
Am I really good?
Or am I teaching my youngers to be fake?
Am I really setting an good example?
Or am I setting an example of being what others except you to be?
What if I am the worst?
What if they found out that I am FAKE?
Will I'd be the perfect person then?

For a moment I did
what was expected from me.
For a few hours I was
what I was expected to be.
Then I went back to being me
I let everyone down and they left.

empty emotions
fuel the deep devotions of yesterday
nothing fulfilling
no true feelings
there was nothing in between
nothing breathing
lifeless ill intended words
that feel like promises
only fueled what made you die