2.0 In quiet an unease and gloom perhaps would mind burdon to weight in too the gamble which my heart was struggled by to question the certain few and walk 2.1 meanwhile i did so far i knew only so little of but wonder but one or two i did dare nor could i think in that hour else but to count or guess i thought to day and night and myself another three or four or five the many was must had i go to find to came to new of dearanged senses to celestial was the wind to correct the view what i saw like frost on the window smiling like written in a childrens handwrite in the dew on the fields most beautiful rose 2.2 as if something unborn and whole and holy whispered: look! 2.3 And as soon i did i found myself in a land rather strange to call a stranger maybe would and might come to think as unnatural of course it must seem to you 2.4 in time reflect like the cold skin of the old snake does the future the past and present from his heads gliss blue and tip of the sweet tongue and poison behind cold eyes throught out the body moves forward and a crawl and the hiss and hunt of hours and minutes to use 2.5 the body lies gone until the tale it leaves behind to cruel the attemps to bite it has like a flock of storks whirl white it rolls around and clues like oclock the sun the day and the girl the boy and milk the ******* to bloom 2.6 how it ***** on the edge of souls where borders like the cloud to rain apure the world where dont dream anymore and love in due of else instead of adventures to be right instead of true and instead of every what another instead of beautiful another reason why not and not yes 2.7 we are and do it feasts on itself in a link of the high of the chain where its strong and where its weak it   lusts the mind in heat and hangs from much as a beat time a threath in a bottle to remember to mind near and return to sender in the same write of ink and same bottle of glass and from same shore it was found at to find its same way 2.8 in vain hope might but only fair and more by faith is the magic of what im about and is life if you ask so to complain least should what reason of mine to answer 2.9 to word a letter i do have decided to from what thrill it could be only to stole my mind from fear of death to think i might have died to do its worth i would again million times.

There is no God vs Man because,
‘God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise.’
1 Corinthians 1:27

There is no God Vs Man because,
'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways.'
Isiah 55:8-9

There is no God Vs Man because,
He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom the work that God has done from beginning to end.
‎Ecclesiastes 3:11

There is no God Vs Man because,
' For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son that whosoever believes in HIM shall not perish but have eternal life.'
John 3:16

i am lost.
this emptiness can't be
all there is to it.
one's hope is just as fragile
as the proof of something better
awaiting once you're done
with getting stronger.
i don't know if i am strong enough yet.
i'm not sure if i've been through enough yet.
is my suffering too little
in comparison to others
who experienced more pain,
more grief, more loss, more desperation?
am i just a broken vessel
for someone's misplaced affection?
is this emptiness all that i can create?
if it's really all there's to it
i would rather know for sure
than be constantly misled
by a non-existent cause.
i am lost.

Ask of me what you want
What does your heart truly desire?
I delight in providing for your needs
Even when you do not ask me.
Come to me in your weakness and strength
Seek my aid each morning.
Offer me your day and everything in it
And ask me to bless it and give you graces
I rejoice in your asking, and I love to give
Open yourself to me and receive
Receive my love and affection
Receive my presence and do my will
Receive the gifts I have prepared
Believe that I live within you
In all you think and speak and do
Let me help you do more good
What would you do if only you could?
Have faith in me
For, with me, all things are possible
If you are truly doing my work
Do your best and I will make it work
Give it to me that I may bless and multiply
Walk with me faithfully
and I will teach you how to fly
When this happens, and it will, be assured,
Be not proud, but rejoice and give me thanks
Everything you do, do it for the greater glory of God
For you have been chosen to bring
A bit of heaven down to the earth
You are a beloved Child Of The King
Called to a purpose before your birth
Call me up: I'm always free
For you, I'm never too busy
But when you are done, stop and listen
Be patient, persevere even if I seem silent
Sometimes I speak through things
Sometimes what you want is not what you need
Sometimes I have something better
Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder
So often you take for granted
The many blessings you are given
You don't appreciate their value as much
Until it is taken away
My spirit longs for you
As a desert longs for rain
How long must I wait
To feel your presence again
Let your face shine upon me
Take not your spirit from me
Open my eyes to truly see
As I live out this new reality

I started building my house when I was five

Copying the words some pastor told me to say

I already had the foundation laid for me

But that was when it turned to concrete

Or so I thought



Slowly but surely the walls rose,

But they were built of twisted metal

Firm at first

But slowly it crumbles.



The roof is built, supposed to feel safe

But at this point it smothers me

In a house that is not my own

It is full of lies and deceit

It does not feel safe.



Then somewhere along the time,  

The hammers building turn to sledgehammers

Ripping down my walls

Revealing the carnage through the haze

I walk out, and walk away.



The freedom feels strange.

New words on my lips,

Ones I shudder to think of now.

I knew it wouldn’t last

But I wasn’t ready to return



But then music.

A single album, two friends.

Help lead me back down the path to the wreckage of my house

I know it is not all bad.

An intact siding here, a piece of tile there.

I collect the pieces I can still use

And I move to another spot.

I start to rebuild.



I still have questions about my faith, I’ll admit.

Sometimes I forget I’m not the only one I can depend on anymore.

But that’s normal.

I’m learning.

And I have people with me,

Visiting me and helping me rebuild.

I won’t lie and say it wasn’t hard.

But I’m proud of how far I’ve come.

In my journey of faith.

Lord, make me to be a living channel
An instrument of your comfort and peace
You speak to me and my soul comes alive
You are the living word, your words are life-giving
Blood and water poured from your sacred heart
Bathing the world in your mercy and grace
In the waters of baptism by the blood of the lamb
It is because of this that, today, I am who I am
Your river runs through me in deep currents of grace
When you said "Peace be with you" was it the look on my face?
I was unbelieving for the pain was too much to bear
It wasn't that I didn't want to believe or that I didn't care
My Lord and my God! Have mercy on me: a sinner
I am not worthy to be in your presence my God and King
I feel the movements of the spirit
In the deepest currents of my being
Open my eyes to see and my heart to believe
You opened yourself and were broken for me
Break open my heart and help me to receive
This flood of mercy and grace freely shed
To give me new life when I had been dead
In my weakness, in my doubt and my shame
You take my hand and gently call my name
"Peace be with you. It is I. I am real.
Do not me unbelieving, but come and feel
The hands that were pierced for love of you
Let my mercy and grace, Child, cover you".
Lead me Lord from fear into peace, despair into hope
From tears into laughter, from mourning into dancing,
From doubt to belief, from death into life
Guide me Lord from out of darkness into Your light
Jesus, I believe, help me trust in You!

If id have a wish
Granted to wish
Whatever and anything
In the world
Id wish to forbide
Your heart to sorrow
And ban misary from
For once forever
And tears only of joy
I would add to the law
And hide you away
In my right pocket till
To give the rest of world
In a bag fold by fold folded
To a dot saying: return
To sender, as our little joke
To start a week id cry
To heavens a casual : agrh!
Wrong pocket! And youd smile
Unable to even recall what
that Stupid little thing we love
Even more now as a problem
Of post office to deal with  
and not solve instead of us. Waitin around week by week
To creation.