Love I know not
though I've heard
it's unfathomable
unselfish, thoughtful and wise
So strong it never gives up
No matter the trials

Love would rather die  
than ever let go
It holds on even when life
seems impossible

Life is my current lover.
I swig her ephemeral taste from my cupped hands
worried as the golden, shimmering liquid rushes through
creases and cracks in my jaded hands.
Her mood varies through my stages;
at times she is of doting temper and roseate kisses
but when love evades her, most often than not,
her calloused hands damage the pearly flesh in tender
places,
and discontent paints a surly mood as she digs her crimson
brush against the canvas of my self.
Life is my inconsistent lover,
sometimes doting but most often than not abusive.
So I vowed my eternal devotion to Death.
We escape under the dark canopy of starless wings;
a tryst.
I eat of the forbidden feasts in the Kingdom of Hades,
grains of scarlet pomegranates staining my chapped lips.
Death has promised me perpetuity.
But until Life decides to release me from her capricious temper,
I shall long for the wintry, rainy comfort of my drowsy affair.

I was inspired by the many cynical minds
from yesterday and behind,
by countless events of outrage
that poisoned and amazed
the universe that once censured my kind.
But I am not backing down
for in the years to come, you'll see me rise
not away from everyone's judgmental eyes
but with fiery flash, I'll have to burn your pride
and jest the world with my old despicable style.

This drug,
It's  destroying me
It's  wrecking my life
to the point where I can hardly breathe

It's hard to stand
It's hard to make it through the day

Without this drug
Its hold is getting stronger and stronger
When I'm depressed, I run to it
When I am weak, I cling to it.

What does it do?
It helps me for a second... for a minutes
It helps me to forget the pain that I am in...
momentarily.

The doses are becoming larger
the tolerance becoming stronger
My body shakes for it
Yearns for it
Dreams about it

This drug numbs the pain of my reality
But this drug is causing more pain in my reality
....the little reality that I know....

Maybe I am being overly dramatic
Maybe I just like to draw a show to myself
But I think I am really trapped

If I don't push this drug away,
If I don't lay it down now,
There may be no turning back

With every ounce of my strength
With the little will power left in my body
I push this drug away

I am not sure how I will make it through the day
I am not sure how I will deal with my reality
But I can't let this drug consume me any longer

If I let it win,
Only one thing can happen
And that is death...

I am not ready for that,
Not yet
Because there is still a small flicker of life
stirring in my bones....