#ed poems on Hello Poetry

Cam Mar 2014

society's ideal of beauty is killing people

There was a time before the claws of insecurity
and self-hatred sank its talons into my skin
It was sunshine, warm hugs and the sound of stories being read aloud
I never wondered about my looks
It never mattered
There was never an inkling that my worth was measured in beauty

Girls and women starve themselves to fit the moulds of artifical female bodies
as if it is them and their bodies that are wrong and misfigured.
When in actuality, it is the toxic ideals of our global society that are aberrant and rotten to the core.

how are they to save themselves from the demons of their own mind
*how are you going to save us from them when you were the ones who put them there?

#eating #society #beauty #ed #disorders #ideal

Liz Sep 2014

A mother's nightmare

Mommy told me about her dream
I looked like a skeleton
And she was begging me to eat

She really did

#dreams #nightmare #ana #mia #ed #ednos

MBishop Sep 2014

These Numbers

These calories have made their way into my dreams
A place where I used to feel comfortable
Like anything could happen and I was, for the most part, optimistic
They've infected my subconscious and now
I'm not allowed to have that imaginary meal for fear
It may put on some imaginary weight.

I used to say you were the only thing that consumed my sleep
But I'd be lying if I say that this isn't an increasing occurrence, these numbers
These numbers, always in the forefront of my mind
Never leaving me alone for a moment to think
With infected sleep, there's no safe place for me
No place to run from these numbers, these *calories

#love #suicide #depression #death #ana #anorexia #ed #eatingdisorders

Liz Sep 2014

Skinny Minnie

Shrink yourself
Oh she's fading away
Hold her bones together
As the movies play

When a diet becomes an addiction
I felt myself give in
My mind was hooked on these
Skinny thoughts

Bones dance in my dreams
And I couldn't be shaken awake
Yes I'll be skinny like the others
Beautiful like I want

But there's nothing beautiful
About your hair falling out
And passing out and hitting your head
And freezing in the summer
And constantly falling asleep

There's nothing cute about
***** in your hair
And on your clothes
****** noses
And aching bones

Nothing glamorous behind that bathroom door
Just a stupid girl
With her head stuck half way down the pipes

#eating #food #anorexia #bulimia #skinny #ed #fat #ednos

Don't you dare forget the sun Aug 2014

If I Was

if i  wasn't gay
would you still tell me i'm brave
if i didn't self harm
would you still tell me i'm strong
if i wasn't depressed
would you still say you love me
if i wasn't starving myself
would you still tell me i'm beautiful
if i didn't try to **** myself
would you still tell me life is worth living
if i didn't cry
would you still tell me i have every reason to smile
if i wasn't scared
would you still hold my hand
if i didn't have insomnia
would you still stay up with me
if i didn't panic
would you still tell me that everything's alright
if i didn't love you
would you still  be kind
if i  didn't try
would you stop trying too?
if i wasn't broken
would you still try to fix me?

i don't want to be
uninteresting.

partly inspired by Neil Hilborn : "...because the sadness is the old paint under the new it's the house fire or the broken shoulder. I'd still be me without it, but I'd be so ... boring. "

#love #depression #anxiety #insomnia #eatingdisorder #ana #anorexia #selfharm #ed #blithe

pixels Aug 2014

Not Quite Sick

I binge on poems:
Poems about broken glass
And broken people.

I allow myself
A missed meal,
A forgotten snack.

How innocuous,
The blissfully ignorant
Rumble of my stomach.

But I don't starve,
Oh no-
I was a puker.

My greed takes over
In the haze of smoke
And the smell of his cologne.

I'm fine,
I'm fine,
I'm fine.

I'm too fat
To be sick,
Really.

thoughts only make sense when they are poems.

#eatingdisorder #anorexia #bulimia #ed #relapse #anorexic #bulimic #relapsing #relapsed