you don't even take your shoes off when you come inside anymore.
you knock hesitantly at the door, and hope that you are greeted by anyone other than her.  
wiping your shoes off thoroughly on the mat before entering, making sure to leave no trace that you were even here.
if you do see her, just a nod of the head and a tolerative smile.
but you don'y ever take off your shoes anymore.
i guess that's because you aren't really considered a guest in the home that you wrecked.
i guess that's because it doesn't make things awkward every time you leave again.
i guess it just makes it easier to walk in and out of the door every time, without having to think too much about what you are leaving behind.
i guess you just want to constantly remind me that you are only here temporarily, never to stay again permanently. That you can just pick up and leave whenever you please.
i guess that's just it.
too busy to be bothered.
too absent to take off your shoes anymore.

Catastrophic end in sight,
light bends, her eyes contrite;
a shaking phantasmagoric dispute
making both husband and lover mute;
revelation upon revelation,
hatred in each exhalation;
exasperated rivals stand apart,
one soul exultant, one twisted heart.

I don’t want to live a life about loss
I know what happened to me
But that is something that’ll never be me

I don’t want to be known by my past
I’m not escaping from shame
It’s just my turn to decide what I believe

Tell me why I should live a certain way
Life will never be like it was before
I am tired of thinking about why
Still I wonder what you think
But it’s time for that no more

I just can’t pretend I’m something else
It was you who made me understand
You took so much there's nothing left for me

It’s a new day
A new day and a new way
What’s happened has come and gone
It’s time to find a new light to follow
Away from the things only darkness would say

I finally washed my heart with new blood
Still I feel the sadness of survival
But what time takes tomorrow must never grieve

Tell me why I should live a certain way
Life will never be like it was before
I am tired of thinking about why
Still I wonder what you think
But it’s time for that no more

Maybe the last waking in a place known.
The strongest feeling of love felt and shown.
Reading stories in the tiny bed.
I'll dry your tears, she said.

So this is heartbreak.
The core, an earthquake.
Remember the reason.
This is but the first season.

With fear in the head, but strength in the heart.
With a tear in the eye, but light in the dark.
The next step soon to arrive.
The journey to be more than just alive.

Swinging wildly
With a deafening stroke
Air spilling from my lungs
Making me choke.

For richer, for poorer
For better, for worse
Am I under a spell
Or am I under a curse?

I spiral from strong
To weak in a breath
Solo to dual
I've done it to death.

I love you, I hate you
I feel so much more
I want you, can't stand you
Am spent on the floor.

When will I settle?
When will I know?
Will it be when my heart
Or my head tells me so?

How can I anchor
These pendulum thoughts?
Until then I will be
Out of all sorts.

Hey mom, hey dad.
Why are we still yelling?
We need to get out of this broken home.
Please don't let me back out into the cold!
Hey mom, hey dad.
Please stop this!
I'm stuck watching these walls fall down.
I'm here alone in this broken home.
When will this end!
I'm done.
Hey mom, hey dad.
When did you lose your happiness?
When did this home become broken!?
Please let it all go!
I want to help, but I'm stuck in between.
Who cares who's fault it is!
I'm still stuck in this broken home.

we've been poisoned
with hopes and dreams
of "true love"

its hysterical
how naïve we are
we fell so hard
put ourselves on the line
for a poorly constructed ideology

you idiot
darling i'm such an idiot
to think there was good
in this world
to think there was a chance
that selfless love existed

ah, what a fool
to think marriage
was anything more
than a social norm
a convenience
that relationships
were actually based on anything
more than a false sense of
comfort and security

highschool kids
throwing away their future
bunch of immature children
tricked into thinking
that someone could make them whole
"let's get married"
"let's run away"
"we're in loooove"
we've poisoned our youth
love should be the last thing
on their mind

women giving up their dreams
men giving up their lives
for W H A T
the idea that
someone could keep them
from drowning
darling
oh darling
i wish that were true

but
w a k e u p

no one can save you
love is cursed.
we are cursed.

love,
in its own essence
does not exist
and i was such a fool
such a ****** fool
to think it lasts

i guess it just made me feel relaxed
to think that there was one part of my life
that could be just for me
i thought love was my escape
i'm holding up the world
i thought it would give me a break
rest my head
HAH
hysterical
i swear to God i'm in fits of laughter

believe in love?
ask the kid of messy divorce
ask the single mom with no idea where her baby daddy went
ask the girl with a broken heart
ask the boy who gives his all, in return for none

love
is
just
another
word
for
loss.

sorry to burst your bubble
but
your idea of "love"
**doesn't exist

'Twas the firm and fervent
    wish of a youth yet
        to flower into a jaded
           blossom, before understanding
        what it meant to love or why
    it was so important to learn
  to do it well,

whose childhood ended rather
      abruptly, watching the slow
        crumble of supposed soul-mates
            as love was not enough
        to overcome the inertia
   of their own.