The more you want me,

the more you'll see me, even --


when I am not there.

Do you know how special you are? I don't flirt with anyone like I do with you. I don't look at anyone with such lust and desire like I do with you.
So willing to be on my knees and serve you like the god you are. I would do anything for you go to the ends of the earth for you. Sacrifice myself for you. **** and slaughter till the blood is so dark it stains my face and hands. That is how special you are мой вампир

Late were the nights when you touched my soul,
Gentle,yet so cruel.
The world lay lost in restless phantoms,
Just us awake,lost in allure.

Our hands intertwined,fierce and fevered,
Even awake from  dreams,desire pulled us near.
The heat of your kiss lingered got me acting like a fool,
As my heart bloomed under your rule.

Will hellfire breathe amongst the icy glaciers, igniting the frozen pits of my flesh? If hell hath all women scorned, will it also unleash the reigned beast I had tamed inside? With every glisten of sweat and profound lines etched on his skin, will it grip my soul into an enchanting dance?

I believe that it would, it may, and it can. In a tumultuous feat, I'd be close to something spectacular. Would heaven's gates hate on me, and will the angels shun my presence for longing such a guilty desire? They might, and I know they will.

valentine is a martyr. or is it ‘was’--
because he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter
imprisoned for caring about the marriages
of his soldiers...

the present, feb 14, valentine's day
    
where the couples celebrate
and kiss one another with glee, lipstick and wine
staining skin, like roses,
rotting in the pretty glass vases of this house that
have become the symbol of the addiction to
a lovely shade of lust

and where do the single people go for sanctuary,
to hide away from the flocks of married men and women
& teenager couples
with their fingers interlaced,
the celebration coursing through their veins;
    
love really is a losing game
full of gambles
    
i think i finally
feel like valentine
    
forever &
loving

Whispers deep within, cry out “hear me, here in,”
I desire to be heard,
I desire to be seen,
I desire to be acknowledged, as something more than what could have been.

You’ve tried to ignore it,
You’ve tried to do what’s right,
What’s sensible, what’s to be applauded,
Rather than what your heart yearns: to be revelled in delight!

Pure indulgence,
Disdainful scorn,
Narcissisms decadence,
All that should be off-sworn.

But denial has only left me stuck,
I have lived a cognitive dissonance existence,
A state of **** and muck.
I wish for more, I want to rise above the resistance, insistence and self-persistence…

I wish to be MORE curious,
I wish to be larger,
I wish to be more spontaneous,
And live a life full, but not “full” of what ifs, that’s what I rather.

So here I am,
Now, what do I do?!
.
.
.
.
Take the next step…

into the dream,

For there, I hope,  will be the next clue!

a slave to desires
masters manipulation;
ushers the dark age.

as the bullet pierces through
the love for you spills out too
thoughts unsaid
prays unheard
what drips from my writ once was love.