"Daddy it's four years now".
"I would like to think I've made you proud"
But that I hardly doubt.
"I'm looking down to my children now"
How they're granddad is not on lower ground.
"How you would love them".
"Ava's two now and ana six now.
"their so pretty accept you can't see them now.
If only dad you could see some times I think about you and wonder if were here now.
"Would you still be the man you were?"
Maybe you started fresh no suicidal thoughts inside your head?".
I always guessed there's something beyond death.
But if that was true I could see you here hug you back listen to your heart study your breath.
Just one minute a word of what you did why you had to hang your self and why I had to live.
Daddy daddy I miss you now.
But daddy I also know why you didn't want to live.
A late good bye four year flew by.
You'll always be my hero.
My dad my king.
Good bye father the angels sing.

I've met men
who would rather climb mountains
then raise families
they spill lies like fountains
time and time again
This is insanity

I've met mothers
Who would trade their children
For another high
Painted as they are, villains
But they still ask “why?”
As they dump it on their brothers

I’ve met parents
who don't let their kids cry
And they grow up mad
at themselves
At society
But deep down, they're sad
packing problems away on shelves
And it grows, anxiety
They try to down in Barents

My dad told me I shouldn’t sing
Because I didn’t have a musical voice.
So, of course, I felt I had to go
Prove him wrong. I didn’t have a choice.
You see, I knew for sure
From the early age of about ten years
That I was winning contests
And on stage getting lots of cheers.

First it was contests at fairs
And later it was in shows and events
At school, at church and some
Even took place in huge revival tents.
But he never spoke of these
Because he was seldom ever there.
He was either working late
Or home in his favorite big easy chair.

It would be years before I found
It was my actual voice he didn’t enjoy.
At first is was because I was young
And had the flutey piping sound of boy.
I chalked it up to style or poise,
But later, when I grew to be a tenor
I never had that manly sound.
High voiced men were automatically sinners.

So, I kept on singing, in night clubs
And plays and little theater around town
And got my applause from strangers
Because my father always let me down.
As you can probably tell from this
That betrayal still bothers me a little bit.
Sometimes words can hurt as much
As a drawing back and delivering a hit.

why does it always feel like every time
we interact we are either:
laughing or
arguing.
With everything that i do,
you always have an opinion or
some input that just needs to get out there.
(to a certain extent you should because you are my father)
We never really
talk
since you're either at work
or you're dealing with the three other kids
or you just want to talk with mom.
And i don't blame you.

But i just got used to
not being spoken to.
i started to like it.
everyone minding their own business.
Now you're trying to change things up and
have me open up more.
And i hate it.
Its so..
unusual.
I close up and then we get into
another argument..

predictable.

Oh father, father, father.
Where have you gone?
What have you done?
There is a ghost that beginning to look a little like you.
Lets raise a toast, father.
To the man that is never home,
To the man who does not love,
To the man who never has a plan.

Oh, father, father, father.
Look at what you have done.
Your children have stopped caring.
Your wife has given up.
Who do you have left?
You live here, but you may as well not.
You make these promises and stab us in the back.


I love you, daddy.
Can't you see?
You've ruined me.
You've ruined my siblings.
You've ruined my mother.


Remember? Always and forever?
I think it is time to let go,
and say our goodbyes.

Just a quick post to say Happy Father's Day to all the dads of HP.
Hope your day was filled with happiness and love.  
May you be blessed.

I would've given birth
To you,
Endured whatever
Mothers do.
Instead, I did
What Dads do.

I rocked you
Til my future shook;
Watched you til
I couldn't look.
As you changed,
I changed too,
To do the things
That Dads do.

You were bathed,
Dressed and fed;
I loved you so much
I was saved.

If there's credit,
Well, I get it,
For teaching you to read.
I took the blame
When you got bored
With school's ABC's.

I followed you
In all your roles,
Your teams,
Your solos,
Your trips,
Your shows.
First to clap,
Last to sit;
I taped it all,
From start -
To finish.

I taught you
How to tie a lace,
Ride a bike,
Golf and skate.
When time arrived
For you to drive,
You learned
On standard,
Never stranded,
You came home alive.

Your highs
I took in stride,
By example taught
Humility's pride.
Your lows,
I couldn't internalize,
I dropped my guard
With my eyes.

When Dad's do well
It's a double edge,
The future wedge.
The world
Revealed
Desired you too.
I don't dismiss
What mothers do,
But when Dads do well,
Both lose you.

You don't mention whom you met,
How you ripped your small black dress.
You don't share intimate stories;
What caused a smile,
What stokes your worries.
Arms dangle by your side,
You can't slip your hand in mine,
Hold me with your eyes,
Lay your head on my bed
With your good-night sigh.
We don't get our get-aways
As we did in by-gone days;
You left your keys to house and car,
Saying you would travel far;
So you hitched your hidden dreams
To a rising star,
Left my world, but not my life,
Polished your new cultured pearls.
Husbands now call you wives;
But you'll always be
My three wee girls.