I would've given birth
To you,
Endured whatever
Mothers do.
Instead, I did
What Dads do.

I rocked you
Til my future shook;
Watched you til
I couldn't look.
As you changed,
I changed too,
To do the things
That Dads do.

You were bathed,
Dressed and fed;
I loved you so much
I was saved.

If there's credit,
Well, I get it,
For teaching you to read.
I took the blame
When you got bored
With school's ABC's.

I followed you
In all your roles,
Your teams,
Your solos,
Your trips,
Your shows.
First to clap,
Last to sit;
I taped it all,
From start -
To finish.

I taught you
How to tie a lace,
Ride a bike,
Golf and skate.
When time arrived
For you to drive,
You learned
On standard,
Never stranded,
You came home alive.

Your highs
I took in stride,
By example taught
Humility's pride.
Your lows,
I couldn't internalize,
I dropped my guard
With my eyes.

When Dad's do well
It's a double edge,
The future wedge.
The world
Revealed
Desired you too.
I don't dismiss
What mothers do,
But when Dads do well,
Both lose you.

We lived
In our Goodwill bathing suits
During our arduous summer isolation
From school and friends.
They were shiny, silk-like.
The scrotums were always
A size too big,
And so, sagged,
Exposing us like water snakes
Raising heads from darkness.
We sat in the back seat of the Rambler
Like three monkeys,
Towels wrapped sarong-like.
The heated air rose from the hood
As visible reminders.
This was Mammy's idea,
Hoping he would feel obliged
After many hours of hoeing and weeding.
Just an hour at the Beach.
I longed for the sound of slowly crushed stone
Beneath the tires as we backed out.
He emerged from the house,
Walked to the garage,
Never glancing our way,
A half hour later we got out.
But I saw, I heard, and now I speak.
Some fathers are never Dads.

I have sacred relics
Buried in my altar
To sanctify my life.
I don't kneel in supplication;
Still they know
My devotion,
My adoration,
My fealty.
I am blessed.

Make her laugh
Make her smile
Make her feel safe
Make her feel like she's everything
Don't make her cry
Unless it's tears of joy
Because her father, brother or friends that are guys will hurt you if you do.

I present as a strong figure,
A father who is decisive,
Fair and consensual
To the point of sacrifice.
I overheard:
     Don't worry. It's only Dad.
Well, that's not quite true.
I'm not belly-aching,

How many picture frames,
Or video clips
Will you find me in?
Who held the camera
For twenty years?
King Hamlet knew:
Remember me.

You should know
I have the feelings
Of the aggregate.
We share fear.
I know you're afraid. Me too, but
You learn to live with it,
And sensitivity is a strong potion.
I see reflections of my eyes in yours.
You're easily hurt.
I hide this one.
You're learning to do the same.
Can't blame you, but fair warning:
The benefits and disadvantages
Are equally weighed.

No doubt we've been involved
In abandonment and lonliness.

Being sensitive,
You overthink everything.
Don't.
It causes worry;
Worry begets worry.
Too much time worrying.
It's an emotional overkill.

***** me, I bleed.

Dads are sentient
Under shining armor.
You can tell by the chinks.

Dads,
Some kids we raise
Will abandon us,
Despise, deplore
And anger us.

     What can we do?

Some sons will denounce
To even some score;
Some daughters will leave
To dance and *****.

     Dads, we're trapped forever more.

Some daughters will stay
And tend the home;
Some sons will sit
In cold cells alone.
They're worlds apart
From what we'd expect.

     Dads, I'm not finished yet.

Some sons give sons their father's name,
Some daughters so proud they keep the same;
Some teach and preach and heal and toil,
They've learned their lessons well.
You're so puffed you're buttons pop,
You never want this life to stop.

     Dads, take it from me.

You've done your duty,
You've won the game,
Take it from me,
No two are the same.

When I was a kid
I used to really dislike you
But now that you're broken
I like you
That's not the reason why
I miss you
I've always loved you
I blamed you
For all the things
That was wrong
But now without you
I wish I had you
Broken dad, why don't you
Get out of bed
Get up I want to scream
I know you would If you could
We didn't ask for this
None of us would
That November night
Changed my life
Were all broken now
All a little different
But you most of all
You got the short straw

"Keep your rage in check.
your life's a ******* wreck .
all you do is ***** all day."
I don't hear a word you say. I have a temper yes its true. I try my best to keep it down it never shows when others are around. I take it mostly on myself. Then I paint the walls with my scars.
Still I could never be you. Hitting girls where the bruise won't show. Your no uncle of mine. Not by blood not by choice.
Drinking beers to hide my fears. The only thing to fear is me.
You can **** on me all you want.
spit and **** and call me names.
But touch my brother or sister still. Ill bring your world down in flames.
They are all I have, there is nothing left. No friends, no fears, no hope, no rest.
There is no ledge, no line in sight.
No moral code, no fair play, no even fight, or honor here.
Only the horror all should fear.

Are we nearly there Dad?
Is it very far?
Oh he is going to drive me mad
We had just got in the car

Are we nearly there Dad?
Have we far to go?
Oh God this is bad
We had only gone a mile or so

Are we nearly there Dad?
Is it far away?
Why don’t you take out your i-pad
There must be games you can play

Are we nearly there Dad?
I really have to ***
I know this is sad
I think he’s doing this deliberately

Are we nearly there Dad?
Is it much further?
I’m losing what patience I had
I will be done for ******.

Are we nearly there Dad?
This is taking a long time
Please, please stop asking lad
Before I commit an awful crime

Are we nearly there Dad?
This is not much fun
You are getting on my nerves a tad
Please give it over Son

Are we nearly there Dad?
I am feeling very sick
Just one more problem to add
I am at the end of my wick

Are we nearly there Dad?
I am really bored
I hope this is just a fad
He might stop if he’s ignored

Are we nearly there Dad?
He asked rather sleepily
If he sleeps I will be glad
I thought, rather guiltily

Are we nearly there Dadeeee?
He started to whine
Why must he keep on and on at me
I really feel like crying

Are we nearly there Dad?
I said yes, five minutes more
It was a white lie, what a cad
But at last, I heard him snore.

Are we nearly there Dad?
I said "yes son, eventually"
“I just want to go home Dad!!”
he began screaming incessantly

Are we nearly there Dad?
Louder and louder he screams
It’s been years since those trips we had
But I still hear him in my dreams!

Are we nearly there Grandad?
my grandchildren ask me now
these days I don't find it too bad
I've gotten used to it somehow!

Moods still change with the seasons
and the orbit of the moon.
Eyes are glass
Look into them long enough and you'll see right through.
Eyes that have seen
Life and Death in the most beautiful manifestations
Eyes that watch brother grow up,
And mother grow old.
Eyes that can show me where I am,
but not what's in front of me.
Eyes that don't change the happened
only sit and watch as the world vigorously blackens.
Mostly these eyes are a disguise to hide the lies, depression and anxiety held inside by the so-called perspicacity of the mortal mind.
More often then not I find that these eyes deceive me but
when I'll do whatever it may be within my capability to distort what they are showing me.
Or close them because even the sugar coated delusions are too much for them to bear to see.
But when these eyes close it appears that there's nothing but the truth to take.
So I'll stay awake.