People always seem to judge me based on my morals and honor rather then get to know me. Im not the best person to know but i would like to believe i have good morals and a good honor.

There is a tree by my bus stop.
I do not know when it began flowering,
only that it is.
On each branch, there are delicate flowers, dousing the street in pink and white
magnolias.
she's coming up this summer, finally.
I wish I could show her.

I wish you could see it.

If only I knew
That kiss would’ve been our last. I would have kissed a little deeper

If only I knew
that hug in the cold night was our last. I would have hugged a little tighter.

If only I knew
that was the last time I told you “I love you”. I would have said it a bit softer.

If only I knew
that was the last time I’d look into your eyes and see love staring back. I would have gazed a little longer.

Abruptly, all this was taken away by you.

Your conflicting thoughts described to me a day later.

While people carried on with their lives around us as if though they couldn’t hear my heart shattering next to you.

I’m helpless in this moment. Unable to comprehend why this is happening.

You tell me I should be hating you, well love, I’ve spent seven months loving you and no amount of pain can fade that.

So I sit next to you, unable to touch your hands which I craved so desperately.

New tears travel down the path paved by old dried up ones.

My mouth is clamped shut unable to tell you what my brain wants to say.

Your brain was conflicted. You tell me there’s no one like me but for some reason, that doesn’t seem to be enough.

We used to be in tune with each other. How could I not see this coming?

Those thoughts scratching away at me inside your head.

Until those thoughts clawed at our love until there was nothing.

Now I feel nothing.

Like an empty space waiting to be filled once more by you.

But you’ve made up your mind for us both. No consulting like we once did.

Our last moments feel like a lie.

Your mind flipped in an instant.

Forcing mine to try and piece everything together.

But you were the pieces that made me whole.

It’s hard to admit
I’m this in love with you.
Under the surface, fearing
It’s too good to be true.
And you are so good
How could I not be?
And when I consider it
It’s easy to admit...
How I love you.

I miss having you around
Because you took away my frown
Even though you’re the cause of it
You crush my soul and bring me to life all in the same conversation
My love, did you know that my sea parts for you?
That I took down all of my walls so you wouldn’t be afraid to come in?
That I stepped down from my throne of anxiety?
That you were the very one that shattered my golden crown of insecurities
Only to then gift me this crystal crown of doubt
That matches my tears
I weep silently and so subtly that you don’t even notice
And even if you did
You wouldn’t care.
Don’t tell me that you love me, I see your garden of lies and the other women that have come to stay in it.
But I’m too afraid to tell you
So I fake a smile as my kingdom is in ruins

all my days spent
i'm at my wits end;
struggling to love
or to leave a friend

sprawled on the bed, laughing into the dark
with every beat, my heart lifts me off the sheets
the back of my skull is rotting from where you touched it
teeth still knocked out of place from where they melted with yours