"i'm holding on
why is everything so heavy?"- Chester Bennington

Chester draws big crowds on raceday.

Employees dress up for away-days,

And punters hope for a big pay-day.

But, come the end of the day,

After bad bets that were the last straw,

All the fancy garb is taken off,

And put back in the chest of drawers.

Get me out of here, man.
I've got the fear,
It's killing me inside.

I'm losing out, losing time
Totally lost, my thoughts are crimes.
I've lost my voice, I've lost my soul, I know it's my fault. I know.  

The problem you see, is that I'm too scared to leave, I'm stuck in this rut, this beautiful rut. Everything's so comfortable, I feel okay..in this house; with its four walls and a bed so divine.

But...

When should okay ever be enough? Surely okay is enough.

It's not enough. It's not.
There's got to be more to life than this, a life so settled, so normal, so boring...so stiff.

Get me out of here,
I've got the fear,
It's killing me inside.

I'm losing out, losing time
Totally lost, my thoughts are crimes.
I've lost my voice, I've lost my soul, I know it's my fault. I know.

Your lips say that you love
Your eyes say that you hate
It’s written upon your face
All the lies how they cut so deeply

Everything you say to me
takes me one step closer to the edge
I’m holding on
Why is everything so heavy?

Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple
Sometimes goodbye is the only way
It’s so much easier to go
than face all this pain here all alone

Set the silence free
to wash away the worst of me
‘cause everything that you thought I would be
has fallen apart right in front of you

Forget our memories
Forget our possibilities
We’re building it up, to break it back down
We’re building it up, to burn it down

Take everything from the inside
and throw it all away
Remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go

So I let go watching you
turn your back like you always do
'Cause I’m only a crack in this castle of glass
Hardly anything there for you to see

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
We said it was forever but then it slipped away
Standing at the end of the final masquerade

Another light went dark
so I am even more alone at night
they ended their suffering
will I end mine?

The body is a sickness
life is a disease
how long I have to suffer?
When will I be released?

Heart heavy like a stone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
like I’m somewhere I belong

Walking around Widener bookstore
   Brown bag 40oz in grip on the first floor
Hurricane
my life and future funneled life a twister whimsical whirlwind
down the hatch guzzle guzzle. Oh, Christie! How are you!? can you see I am a mess? I know Youtell my Chinese girlfriend from our study abroad you saw me a mess in the bookstore. SHe is now heartbroken in chongquing. see ah ha
later im just returning books to get dope money.
LAter

Oh, I see you are stocking that Stranger Camus
Langston Hughes
English 102
I drift in my own “end of summers night”
still dreamin’
still falllin’
   Dropping, stumbling, the house of German exchange professors
   Sequestered on speed *****
Welcome to Chester

Corpse exquisite
  the Bride resides in physics-compartmentalized-drawers
  hiding refuge from the storm

He was Alone

                             ( Most of the time he got weirded out easily)