our antique soul
so veracious
cages our dreams and hidden secrets

our soul's a relic
our incarnation
holds all memories back to when our mother tongue was Thracian

our soul has hyperthymesia
mind of an elephant  
writes our life in lyrics to a string of an instrument

I'm beginning to think I may have lost my purpose.
I have carried the weight of "I'm Sorry" for so long that i almost forgot what it feels like to breathe.
I don't know why I keep so much pain locked up inside myself; I realize my anger and loneliness has changed me into something I never meant to be.
It has transformed me into a person i do not recognize.
Insults from the past hold me at night feeding my soul with lies....,
So much pain.
Everything now is numb..
Completely.
I am slowly being murdered by my own mind... my hands are trembling while I pull at my hair trying to reach inside my mind to the monsters that live in my thoughts.
They are destroying me in and out.
I'm trying to be strong, trying to hold on another day longer, but the pain is getting worse and the urge to cut controls my wrists as my scars ache to be opened again.
Deceivingly these demons taunt me,
"Just a little deeper child..and none of this will matter", they hiss.
So i cut.
A little deeper then usual..
as i drop to my knees, my problems go away, i feel peace for a moment that feels like eternity.
No pain, No memories, No conscious, No feelings.
This is my release.

Are you being prepared for bed, when kist
will you resist an insistence of he
to quicken his lust, will he grip a wrist
and the daddy be to undress his she?

He strips of your clothing, in ownership,
and in doing so is he owning you
perhaps in this ownership clothes are ripped
but, of course, this is love, and his love is true.

After these few, preliminary, acts
a bruise or two, well' 'tis foreplay
and a loving man will bestow love's smacks
to keep his interest for one more day.

And later, if both be satiated,
if love be love, can there be some, hatred?

I’ll be honest today. No covers
I prepared this virtual bouquet
I love all of you. My dear lovers
Hence, happy Valentine’s Day

It's 7:27am
and I still haven't slept
it's probably for the best
even when I sleep I get no rest
I wake up in sweat and out of breath
if sleep was really the cousin of death
I'd be inclined to get more of it
wakefulness is stress but sleep
sleep is something else
sleep is torture for the depressed
sleep is something you tell yourself you need
when your world comes crashing down
when you see no need to get dressed
sleep is what you fall in to
when there's no more stimulation
no more coffee, no more elation
something you do post ******
usually from *******
if you could see my dreams
you'd think of Stephen King's
The Shawshank Redemption
except without redemption
just the seeping hateful retention

I'm tired.
A phrase I mutter everyday
Coffee will keep me wired
But in the end, I always pay.

How I long for sleep each night
Come bedtime, my hand will be dealt.
Miserable insomnia or out like a light.
Those sleepless nights will surely be felt.

When I sleep a full 8 hours
I still awaken heavy laden
My body fighting with all it's powers
Grasping onto the bed I should've stayed in.

So what is this magic number?
Two or ten hours, it makes no difference
While I yearn for a satisfying slumber
My mind is marked by dissonance.

I'm tired. I'm tired.
I will continue to grumble
Until I am finally retired.
And my responsibilities crumble.

A hopeless romantic
Whose never been romanced.
Living vicariously through the movies
And epitomizing the storybook endings.

Real life isn't like that
But for me, maybe it can be.
Lingering hope will be my Downfall
And that's alright with me.

I've never known that kind of love
I still expect a magical first kiss.
The image in my head is just a photograph
But reality will be in messy watercolors.

Heartbreak will surely follow
And I can't say it'll be worth it.
But the feeling of falling for you
Is better than any crash landing

Right now you only see a friend
But tomorrow may be different.
If I hand you my heart
Will you crush it like all the others?