Under a shade of a closed room,
Pages, and ink,
Dots of a scattered mind,
Scribblings on the wall
And painting on the ceiling
The bruises on her skin
The scars of her dying heart
And the shadow of her soul,

Daddy's little princess
A face blurred,
In a bed of nightmares
When he sneaked in,
Marrying the silence of her tears,
That  soaked her pillows of youth
And stole her fountain of happiness
Before the sun rose,
Above her mountain of the past

She's trouble so they say
She'll slay your heart
Tear it apart
Never mind her history
She's a mystery
Neglected as a child
Emotional abuse
she hates men
Does she have a reason?

behind her eyes lesions and cuts to her soul
Though they call her **** and say she's out of control
She yearns and burns for a man who will calm her inner being
See the hurting girl inside who's trapped in her own head
Instead of taking her to bed for a one night stand
A love that hold her through the lonely hours
A love that will never sour
Or grow cold
Or scold her for being her
A love that inspires fire
That comforts her
and talks her through agonising visions of the past
A love that lasts.

I've been there,
I've walked that road,
I've had those feelings,
So many times before,
I've wanted to hurt myself,
Or someone else,
I've felt that pain,
That hate,
And I know,
How hard it is,
To let go of everything you have spent building,
Every nasty feeling,
I've been there,
I've walked that road,
So many times before,
I
Remember when I started punching walls,
Bleeding fist,
Inner anger,
I've been there,
Had those feelings,
I have been angry,
For not doing more,
Don't try and say,
I'm not gonna tell you what happened,
You won't understand,
You have probably never felt these feelings before,
I've been there,
I've walked that road,
We all have one,
A road we walk,
Not particularly knowing where we're going,
In the middle of the night,
Thinking,
What if I don't turn around,
I've felt those feelings,
I've MEMORIZED that road.

I saw the hands that broke me
In more than one place
I hope you didn't see me
The look on my face

Today I met fear
That you'd turn and see
That you would come near
And break the rest of me

Today I met pain
Reliving your crimes
I panic in vain
Making them mine

Today I was still
With pain and remembrance
I began to feel ill
I couldn't finish a sentence

I felt myself shake
In the presence of my abuser
I felt the earth quake
It's his game and I am the loser

Water seeps over me
Hot steam rising
Burning my flesh red
Trying to wash myself anew
A life free of pain
Of disgust
Of numbness
To feel alive
To a fresh life
To see a new me

Thoughts racing over life
Like a race car
Round and round in my head
Loudly and constant over things I regret
Things I wished for
Things I couldn't do
People who I hurt
People who hurt me
People who I needed in my life

Drying myself off still hurting
Muscles screaming at me
A headache building
Bruised and beaten like an abused
Abused from the past
Abused from the present
Abused from the thoughts of the future
Dreading life
Dreading reality
Dreading the fact that I was still hurting