As petals fall from the rose in my room
I lie shiftless not a clue what to do
The pillars of loneliness
I have one for each day,
Slowly the cement crumbles away.

Staring blankly at the corner of my room
When I think of nothing weary eyes
But when I think of you time flies,
I’d love to see you even if it was to say goodbye.

Head out the window incredible view
Though I’d rather see it with you
Clear sky breath of fresh air
But I don’t seem as happy when you’re not there.

Due to what will never be:
Dishes that wash and put themselves away,
Lessons that squirrel themselves away into my brain,
Relationships that begin and mature through no effort of my own.

Character is developing within me:
Self-discipline,
Perseverance, and
Patience with a dose of selflessness.

So even if I grumble audibly,
I am grateful to what will never be,
For the character it is forcing into me.

I forgive myself for that weak moment.
When I wanted nothing more than to decieve you, to hurt you.

I forgive myself, cause I didn't.

I forgive you for your lack of words, for your absence.
Cause deep down I know.

I'm sorry that I even have to be sorry..

I’m not weak enough
To keep myself here
In order to feel the absence
Of absence.

Your words were sad,
And your expression of stone.
I waited and waited,
For your text on my phone...

A beacon you were,
To my darkness you shone.
Etched in my brain,
In every bone...

You were the winter
To my autumn glow,
That covered my branches,
With soft snow...

Passing down these city streets,
I see you in every window i look through..
And it breaks me piece by piece,
How would i look at myself, when even there i see you...

Only a month it was
Since i got to know you.
And i cherish every moment,
Every conversation every view...

Tortured by your absence,
I wanted someone to take this life...
God why you did this..?
She meant more then my life...

On the elevator
I told myself she is long gone...
Convincing myself
There is no reason to live on...

As i took those heavy steps,
Towards the edge an inch away...
I took a last final breath,
Only to realize it was already taken away...

So without a remorse
I letted it go...
But somehow i founded myself
On my bedroom floor...

It was only a nightmare
i thought to myself
I was not letting you go
i told myself...

Your absence
is loud
and clear,
It's your
presence,
your complexity
I fear.
It's the
words
you've never said,
it
is the truth
I never
hear.

Memory is false.
We didn’t used to breathe the same air as everyone else.
I don’t feel the hurt of what I felt
And the rain outside your window was warm
I like the art of your absence
I like feeling torn
And the rain outside your window was warm