absence
      makes the heart
           grow
weaker

I am embracing
The past and its memories
And the future and it’s many possibilities
The disbelief of this dream
That happiness is only when you’re with me
That happiness loses sense as you leave
And I’ve come to understand the power enabled in me
As I realize that happiness will find me
Even without you here

You planted seeds in my soul,
And left them to wither.

Mountains on my chest,
And told me to breathe.

Arrows in my heart,
And called it love.

Your skin, sweet on my lips
Turned sour through overuse,
Through the absence of anticipation,
          of genuine adoration.
Your words cut deep
And the sincerity in your voice
          is the salt in my wounds.
The empty gestures,
Seasoned throughout the days
Only to prolong the serving of a dish
That was already cold
          and half gone.

my heart is wire and sinew
processing speeds and generated power
a motherboard that beats, beats, beats
you're a human, but baby,
I'm a machine

I'll keep powered until the day
my software is outdated
my ram slows down
the blue screen of death flickers
where I never reboot again

trade me in for a newer model
my feelings are connected to electricity
I've already processed my own abandonment
and have already grieved your absence
in a million different codes of binary

I remember your hands on my keys
you pushed all of my buttons
knew every function inside and out
you turned me on and kept me going
you are the spark that ran my code

but now, despite my own wishes
I'm made to keep running
I'll whirl and click and buzz and work
and for a moment, I nearly believed
that a machine could feel love

A man walks into a bar and
doesnt walk out

you walk into a bar
and you dont walk out
and you think maybe thats how it happened

he just walked into a bar
and never walked out

walked into a knife
walked into the barrel of a gun
walked into a river with cinderblock shoes
walked into a car and didn’t turn back
walked into your life and right back out

you stumble out of a bar
cursing and crying and
crashing into the pavement but
that doesn’t matter

you feel like dying
or melting
imagine that you slip and fall apart until you’re just a puddle
imagine that you slip through the lines in the concrete
through the roots and the earth
live down there instead
but

you’re still here
crying on the ****** sidewalk in front of a ****** bar with whisky on your shirt and your breath and something cold and sharp in your heart
and that’s not the problem so much as
he isn’t here too