3/20/2020

One against the world.
Fighting your change.
Would anyone care if you made it?
Wouldn’t they rather you fail?
Oh, they’d feel better about themselves.

One against yourself.
Fighting His change.
Would you care to let go?
Who are you even working for?
Your progress has to be between you and God.

One against your past.
Fighting your change.
Would it make a difference,
If you turned the boat around?
Could you even find your way back?

One against emotions.
Fighting their change.
Doesn’t the anger feel good,
When it wrecks your life?
Don’t you think you should hate hate?

One against a soul.
Fighting the change.
They need you, you know.
You aren’t what you’re meant to be,
It’s about time you changed course.

You’re almost ready,
So I’ll give you more time,
But I can’t promise it’ll last forever…

1/2/20

Waiting for this is like watching someone,
Who’s struggling to lift heavy objects.
Knowing there’s work to be done.
But I’m defiant, as when a mob objects.

I see exactly what I dislike in me,
I guess, maybe I could toss it out.
Motivation comes so slowly,
But small steps are how you start.

So I’ll show you who I am,
But I’ll keep the darkest inside.
I’ll hold it back like the Hoover Dam.
Oh, how long can I go on looking dignified?

I’m in the middle of a drought,
In denial, I hold onto every drop.
Yet I haven’t figured it out,
That emotions aren’t meant to stop.

So I’ll give myself a chance,
I’ll give kindness a try.
I’ll surrender like France,
I’ll give into love and comply.

What is my own goodness?
But like a pile of wet leaves,
Or worshipping a false goddess,
Fruitless, like unsuccessful thieves.

Who am I? Who do I want to be?
I know who I was; I’m glad it’s in the past.
Yet these pains, I’ve gotten nowhere, you see?
Just when I thought I’d see the end at last.

When will I stop talking,
And move into danger’s range?
When will I stop writing,
And begin this wretched change?

6/15/19

You are a most fragile thing,
Yes, and you’re rarely found pure,
Refreshing like a mountain spring,
He who lacks you is honestly poor.

People fear your genuine company,
Your attendance can be lonely.
So they take you into custody,
To destroy you, thinking of self only.

The collective chaos of your absence,
Somehow they thrive on it.
What they carelessly lack is balance,
We don’t get along in the least bit.

You are a most difficult thing to disturb,
You bring such a pensive atmosphere.
Distracted by other things perturbs,
But just like that, you disappear.

4/28/2019

That smile you showed,
When he was left out.
Half a second, eased the load,
Brought him from his hideout.

You care for him, to the last,
Even when he's distant.
When he thought he was outcast,
You included him in an instant.

But he selfishly wants your attention,
He craves more, he can't be alone.
He'd do anything in this situation,
But his stupidity swirls like a cyclone.

He becomes like a turbulent child,
Throws a fit to get his way.
Others are easily beguiled,
But is happiness really underway?

Can the void in his heart,
Which was drained long ago,
Be filled when he becomes a bogart?
These actions damage his precarious ego.

He needs your presence;
People who truly care,
Enough to make a difference.
But he can't even tell you're there.

"Father, show him who,
You've sent them into his life,
Even though they're few,
They cut him deep like a knife.

"Let them show him his faults,
He must see for himself,
Let them open the vaults,
Show him what's on the shelf."

You see how he is corrupted.
Despite his rotten core,
Could he be accepted?
You must help him to explore.

It's not what he does,
That determines his fame.
Love sees past broken pieces,
It passes on no shame.

Overcome by greed,
Not a healthy place.
Back-stabbed and buried,
Not a way to run the race.

Overcome by pride,
Not a purposeful existence.
So much left untried,
Not gaining any distance.

He was not satisfied,
So he took a mile.
I know he was terrified,
Cuz I was he - the whole while.