Grassy knolls crunch gently under foot
Winding wind sweeps around folding me in
Soft sunlight dips through the clouds
And through the lightly blustering playfulness i hear your name carried
Sea air slips open long shallow held lungs
Release on the bounty of home
Eyes devour the horizon longingly
News had come days ago
Life had begun to stir inside
But the sun sank in the same beat of a longing heart
The north star twinkled hope
A quiet prayer lept on the wind
Another faint trace of sound
Whats in a name when it has no form?
Another prayer slips out to search the sea
The sun pulls the sky as purple draws over,  
Dragging with it a blanket of velveteen,
glittered with stars
twinkling beacons of light dancing to the song of hope
Waiting for the moon to make her grand entrance
Maybe on the faintly illuminated horizon
Love may finally appear amongst the stars.

Heed my message
do not follow me
for i am hypocrisy
I want no followers
i want you to learn
from MY mistakes.
Ask me questions
Dont make your own
for fear you will know what i know.
Who will be saved then?
And from what?

A sickening sign of a new world social order.

The more we disrupt it the happier we will all be.

Unfortunately, conflict is ugly.
Often too one sided in debate,
rather than seeking compromise -

Not left, not right
but smack bang whats left, right in the middle -

-Equilibrium.



Who's saying that? I AM

What I wish you would say
-----
Salt of the earth
my house on a rock
Plain t-shirt easy jeans.
Intense eyes, a complicated mind
and a simple heart.
Everyday arms hold me in decorated silence
reverberating unspoken themes
warm fingertips tend my weary bones.
Frowns wiped away with thumb tips and smiles
but what I wish most for,
is for you to say
what every ounce of easy love
stands for in each and every way.

To speak the unspoken power that lifts me up in every way
with nothing but the simplest of things you do but wont say.

Tell me:
the stars don't circle the earth;
they circle you,
Wrap them selves around you
just to stay close
Twinkle in the sky just to capture themselves reflected in your eyes.
That the heavens crowd the sky for a glimpse of your smile
and
form endless glittering patterns
for your favour,
that the bravest stars
fall simply to rest as dust at your feet
and that I,
of all the the souls that travel endlessly through time
was chosen,
a simple form,
to be as a burnt offering
loved by you
therefore burn brighter that the brightest sun
The cause of the supernova in my heart
I keep cloaked in a veil of everyday nothings
so that no one else can ever discover
the purest highest nirvana
when your soul mingles with mine.

The way I wish i could tell you all the time x

Shots fired.
Expression of emotion is vital, cathartic.
My words despairingly ugly. Sensorship even  uglier.
I will not  find peace or sanity until i ***** my offense.
Do not negate my reality
with your unempathic offence
A survivor on defense.
The best defence is attack.
I apologise to no one
for the constant exorcism and reinfection of my demons.
You dont have to live with them.
If you take my words
and stuff them back down my throat
with your own pretty pious version of hate
dont think you won't then be a target of offence.
Don't speak for me
Dont correct me
Do not vett me
Do not circumvent or block me
my spite will pour from its source
Deep pain and loss
Regardless of my senses
Of my deliberate take on inhumanity
If you want to be humane step aside
And don't let the filth catch you on its way out!
I will shout down my demons with fire and light
Stand back!
It is done,
When tis done.

The deepest depths have yet to be travelled in your eyes
They held a promise of a new life and unspeakable joy. You travelled the depths of the universe a million billion chances in one to be confronted by your unfolding beauty but you were inconvienent and i never got to look into your eyes and as I faded to black it was too late. Nothing could replace the aching vacancy that would never be filled in a life now unworthy of life in the eyes I did not want to see.

Delicate tips hover over taut skin
Shudders then Crawling
Waves of static dance
Electric
Tension lapses without breaking
only to build up tighter
Eyes welded shut
Darkness envelops
But time lingers
Longer than imposed eternity
and yet it ends in fading
Only to crackle back to life again
Delicate fingers suspended...

I have nothing to prove
And much to say
You dont have to listen.
Thats ok.
But don't expect me to stay quiet
And your *******?
I dont have to buy it.
You don't shape my reality
But you inform it
Had a few bubbles of yours i had to burst
But fair is fair
And you may or may not care
Your ******* got old.
And I was never sold
You're too soft and weak
But you growl like a lion when I speak
Acting all shady
And scream like baby
When it looks like thought stress
No, I don't need useless losers with heads of mess
Panic and shake
Fist and take
Grow up cupcake  
Stand up for something real
And stop being fake!
I refuse to leave the future in your hands for Gods sake!
You don't know whether you're coming or going
Left or right or as the winds blowing
So i owe you some advice
Shut the **** up
you useless whining ****.
I wish i may,
I wish i might give you a
Left, right GOODNIGHT!

Kiss my *** i hope to fly
My speck aint nuthin to that plank in your eye
Hold me down i just get higher
Dead weight or spare tyre
You dont write my story
Youre just the obstacle that keeps em tuned in to my glory
The halo on my head is real
I earned that ****
i traded in my Achilles heel
Your words bounce off
Like water beads off a duck
Because i made my own luck
Lifted with the light of life
Left my fate to the skies above
Justified
I take my place
love you more as you love me less
In the good Lord my sins are confessed
I still make mistakes and yeah ive got the tact of a crate
God loves me anyway and that's just great
like i said truth is king
i do what i do in honour of Him
And for that glory my heart will sing
most important is one thing
i know you can
And those who dont can kiss your ***
I hope you fly
Where your dreams are way up High.
You can.

It's clear that I have lost friends
That's what fire in your soul and the resulting fearlessness brings
I don't have a lot of intelligent open minded people rifling through my works or giving them the attending  or attention they deserve. They might overlook the irony sarcasm, wit or inherent fairness that is so carefully crafted into endless themes. Sometimes a social leveler, others a defensive maneuver of a wounded animal or all out aggressive neutralizing campaign. Regardless, I never wrote for any of them, I wrote for me.
They were just lucky I let them see.

- The SS

Far away eyes cast their gaze upon ever rearranging light pins
Fragile connections vibrate amongst a rare and delicate frequency
The atmosphere lightens and sprawls across a mindscape
and darkens just as quickly when the mood beckons
Hanging in the in the air of possibilities I miss your company
Your wise to my closed eyes
My warm heart to your raging calm
My serendipitous words across your concise beauty
I kiss you hello on the wind aiming for your right cheek
The side you let me ride shotgun
But as always
I visit the spaces you leave behind
Not sure if you even care about glancing at the pinholes of patterns I leave behind
I cry a crystallized tear
and put it in a box labeled dearest b.
Hugss always.

What do you feel when theres no empathy that could possibly resonate?
What do say when no words can offer comfort?
What can you do when words freeze at the edges of your lips and dont dare come out because it doesnt begin to cover gape left open?
They might as well plunge to the depths of the abyss.

What can you do?

You hug.

What do say when no words can offer comfort?
What do you feel when theres no empathy that could possibly resonate.
What can you do when words freeze at the edges of your lips and dont dare come out because it doesnt begin to cover gape left open.
Might as well plunge to the depths of the abyss.
What can you do?
You hug.

Too much space,
I grab the air around me trying to draw it in
But I've cleaned you out like a ***** sin.

Never knew how warm and comfortable the ugly side of love is
Touching the untouchable, to kiss the impossible kiss

I guess I thought pushing you out would leave me feeling like saint
Theres not a colour in my soul I haven't used in our love's hidden paint
The richest and darkest darks hiding lightest brightest sparks

I'm desperate for your connection, that indefinable thing
The pleasure of pain, nestled under broken wings

The crackling electric static hunting our souls to beat life into our hearts
We live in a life not made for us. Instead crossed with many other beautiful paths.

The patterns we've woven in our times apart all needing threading and tending. No end, no new start. Just empty spaces waiting to be filled in our hearts.

And though I gasp like a fish out of water for your breath,
I know the trails of our patterns cross paths and that our threads play off eachother, shining brighter and bolder than any other kind

But now I pay my pennance waiting for the next day, when we find our way and I can breath life in again.

Don't let anyone shake the dream stars from your eyes.
For every one that falls a dream dies.
Let the stars shine on,
keep that twinkle in your eyes and
Each day remember to reach for the skies!

The dream starss fell from her eyes so easily after they vilely wrestled her one brightest hope away from her. The one with all the colours of love and happiness streaming out into infinity. She bent down and collected them one by one and laid them out again in the shape of her hope and pressed them there till they stuck.
But it wasnt the same she kept worrying they might fall off.

Visions of a searing pain heading straight for you, the oblivious.
Noght terrors and pro f etic dreams tossed to the way side with all the other so-called profetic doomsday losers. As the sword of thought touches your neck youd rather slip into non resistant subconciousness. Weak and inward looking masses of babies ******* life into thier wants and screaming for attention. The world of touch offers no deliverance. It distracts the soul. It blocks compassion and feeds greed. Power stoked by the few torture and consume the masses as they are cyphened into a must do way of living. Wake up get your freedom back by denouncing all you have and walk into an outstreched hand and collect the trapped, downloaders of destruction and walj together  pay nothing use only what is fair and change the world. Disconnected from money and pain, enjoy true power and the gift of a simple life.

Hanging on scratchy thoughts with wispy edges
Trying to capture the essence of a memory
But its like catching fluffy daisy seeds swirling in the wind
Just when you think you've got one, you dont!
Off they go drifting out of sight, fading,
just like the memory of you
I don't even have the past to hold on to like I used to
Been so long;
and just because I cant grasp every warm memory
Doesn't mean i miss you any less,  
The gaps are only wider
And I miss you even more.

Sleep and wakefulness blur
Listeless longings begin to stir
Hearts twist into dire messes
right or wrong?  anyone's guesses
Sickening ache pulls my chest cavity in again
No breath, no relief from this sin and pain
Cant be me
Can't have you,
Can't be free
Can't be you
Kisses and soul hugs on the winds
Casting flesh aside he wins
Only the ****** live free of this shadow
To live this life till the next is hallow
Ill bide my time in this makeshift hell
For a love that only the best story tellers tell
The one that goes on forever
Some can part but no thing can sever
Ours is of the endless stars
Countless opportunites to prove our hearts.
A love never cold
Never old -

Forever young.

Gaping wound mouthing its pain at me directly
Red voiled words strain themselves from makeshift lips
A tongue of bone  sits across the torn out scream
Sputtering and gurgling as veins add to the heated furore
The surgeon peers and wipes over the crass outpouring
Silence, then muted sobbing
***** red mouth needs  washing flushed out
More unruly crimson defiance! Deftly Muffled once again
the gaping makeshift mouth  mutters a desperate prayer giving a resolute yawn and finally relaxes 
Scrubbed and trimmed, Stiched into a peacful crooked smile.
Docs got it all sewn up!

lost in the darkness of your missing
I watch the stars wink as if it's all ok
endless seconds drawl by
lethargic, spiritless
a complete antithesis to my eager waiting
the door  does not herald your lively eyes
that hand does not warmly reach for me
that warmth does not envelop me

the soul that sustains me
calls my eyes up to the heavens
a genltle reminder that you are waiting
I wait the endless seconds in unpassed time
thankful at least, there are enough stars

Like flesh missing from my bones, your absence screams at me
dry days fold into empty nights that even sleep refuses to visit
the warm of your breath starkly unavailable
life it seems left with you
the heart wants what the heart wants
it cut its self out
what use has it of these dry bones
and this longing disposition
seeking only your return
one dropless beat at a time
I wait for the get down
when your eyes breath life back into mine
and brings the flesh back to these bones

What is there to do?
it's so hard to be a passenger
watching us fade away
you're slipping through my fingers
lost to the tenements of duty and time
the choice is made
constant echos catch me off guard
I swear I hear you calling
but when I come
you're  not there
you send your ghost to taunt me
remnants of glistening hopes
swallowed by their smiles
They win again
They always have
I thought I had that one part of you
that tiny piece they never could
but it seems it's halved and quatered
there's not much left
if any at all
you've replaced us, me
and our impossible reality
with some other imposter
the lies you told were so real
I hold imaginary notes in my hand
and cast them to the wind
endless notes
I try to purge you
Every thought an easy betrayal
was it really ever for forever?
in the next life we said
that's too far away
so I write
endless notes
trying to forget you
endless possible futures
Torn away
carved out the deep ones with lies
how do you do it?
Look through me as if I wasn't there?
you'll be back
another note offered to the wind
Ive begun tearing out hopes
to get to the place before I met you,

back to numb

Plum
Cucumber
melons
Drip
Offered
Open
Lucious
With
Seed
Mouth
Waters
Flavor
melding
Lick
****
Slide
Swallow
Savour

Hauled over the back end of the bed
spread eagled and faced down,
plunging your **** deep inside
***** deep is when you decided to say I love you,
but you couldnt say it when I said it looking into your eyes
at my birthday dinner and June was there watching.

----------------

i flicked the toast over
buttered side to buttered side
just the way you liked it
it was a small thing
I didn't do anymore
you never said a word,
but you knew not to complain
It was the apartment in Brussels when I surprised you
I noticed the toast
and smell of her *** on your fingers.

-----------

She he pushed her stiletto heel into his **** as he both begged her not to and calling her god. She knew he liked it but it kind of left her feeling disappointed. She was rather hoping she was enough.

------------

******* are funny things
I usually forget all about them
excpt when you walk in the room
they just want to leap out and attach themselves to your mouth
clamouring for the privilege of being first.

--------------


your words are sharp and cruel
the sudsy sink hides the long blade clutched
slowly prying opening up a clamshell
your body is rude, imposing,
poking and prodding.
still I can't help but gasp as fingertips nuzzle into my crotch
anticipation of the violence used to free the tight hollow
but this time is different, somehow wary
gently tugged to the side, thumb caressing lips
Puckered crevices fill as soft nudges burn with warmth
gently deeper,
the handle clutched tighter trying to grasp on to anything solid
The veil now lifted you sink ******* leaving me with authority
i sudden shock wet lips on wet lips pulses of pleasure ripple
suddenly Im moving into you begging for more
smooth skin glides up my calf and inner thigh the knife released
to Shepard you in you resist mesmerized that the tables have turned so easily,
Finally with all the confidence of a tyrant you begin unleash yourself only you froze, pulled out and walked away.
For ***** sake! and I swore to my self I would drive that god ****** knife into your heart today. You *******! And just like that. The game just changed.

-------------------

Coffee for one again
usually there's two
so you must be ******
was it when I mentioned that name
yu know, when we were both writhing naked on the floor?
It was a simple comparison.
Why so sensitive?
It only happened once.

----------------

the jam sat on the table next to the tea and scones
eyes over easy we looked at each other as she pottered around looking for the cucumber for her sandwiches, she found it in an odd place
and served them as if she had served the queen. We ate them of course most satisfyingly as she harped on about what you did and didn't like
we both agreed we especially liked our cucumber sandwiches,
all the while with your hand in my thighs.

Hauled over the back end of the bed
spread eagled and faced down,
plunging your **** deep inside
***** deep is when you decided to say I love you,
but you couldnt say it when I said it looking into your eyes
at my birthday dinner and June was there watching.

----------------

i flicked the toast over
buttered side to buttered side
just the way you liked it
it was a small thing
I didn't do anymore
you never said a word,
but you knew not to complain
It was the apartment in Brussels when I surprised you
I noticed the toast
and smell of her *** on your fingers.

-----------

She he pushed her stiletto heel into his **** as he both begged her not to and calling her god. She knew he liked it but it kind of left her feeling disappointed. She was rather hoping she was enough.

------------

******* are funny things
I usually forget all about them
excpt when you walk in the room
they just want to leap out and attach themselves to your mouth
clamouring for the privilege of being first.

--------------


your words are sharp and cruel
the sudsy sink hides the long blade clutched
slowly prying opening up a clamshell
your body is rude, imposing,
poking and prodding.
still I can't help but gasp as fingertips nuzzle into my crotch
anticipation of the violence used to free the tight hollow
but this time is different, somehow wary
gently tugged to the side, thumb caressing lips
Puckered crevices fill as soft nudges burn with warmth
gently deeper,
the handle clutched tighter trying to grasp on to anything solid
The veil now lifted you sink below me leaving me with authority
i sudden shock wet lips on wet lips pulses of pleasure ripple
suddenly Im moving into you begging for more
smooth skin glides up my calf and inner thigh the knife released
to Shepard you in you resist mesmerized that the tables have turned so easily,
Finally with all the confidence of a tyrant you begin unleash yourself only you froze, pulled out and walked away.
For ***** sake! and I swore to my self I would drive that god ****** knife into your heart today. You *******! And just like that. The game just changed.

-------------------

Coffee for one again
usually there's two
so you must be ******
was it when I mentioned that name
yu know, when we were both writhing naked on the floor?
It was a simple comparison.
Why so sensitive?
It only happened once.

----------------

the jam sat on the table next to the tea and scones
eyes over easy we looked at each other as she pottered around looking for the cucumber for her sandwiches, she found it in an odd place
and served them as if she had served the queen. We ate them of course most satisfyingly as she harped on about what you did and didn't like
we both agreed we especially liked our cucumber sandwiches,
all the while with your hand in my thighs.

The days blur from one shade of gray to another
haphhazard heart only beats when the possibility of entering your atmosphere nears,
and even then, reality is quick to set in.
abandoned left to my own devices in matters concerning love
how easy it would be,
if it could leave you and nestle back into my heart again
ready to flutter off and settle on some other worthy occupation
bursting with colours like your eyes rivers of warmth like your smile
you walk through me as if I didn't exist
you build walls as you walk creating a maze around you
and yet, memories must linger, sparking  as you catch them in my eyes and smile into my soul, another torturous moment,
Perhaps, on purpose to check in with your prisoner.
Cleary, I have nothing but trophy status gathering dust.
An urn with the ashes of our love smoldering with no air
I wait for the last ember to burn off white
but that's the miracle of love,
it exists on nothing at all
and still stupidly, I design our reunion with not even a hope at all
and nothing to gain,  except living once again, lost in your eyes,
for a lighter shade of gray.
Author's Notes/Comments:

Rivers of thought flow bringing shimmering distorted reflections of you
Memories lap at the shores of my heart
pictures of warmth and beauty dazzle dancing in the bright sunlight
what adventures we had
wild and carefree collecting careless memories
echoes of laughter still tickle my soul
the smile of a thousand smiles soaking me with contagious joy
what youth and innocence could do back then,
free and generous that's what we were
living off love's air
we thought it would last forever
that growing old was matter of refusing the heart for a number
that we swore it would always be this way
radio waves playing our songs over the air
Both living in one beautiful frequency
we were so young then
remember you cried and I laughed?

I'm a drunken fool sobering up on love
I chase the three sheets in the wind
wishing you were behind them
one peak
one touch
whisky dreams fade to burnt amber
glass towers loom
another empty cup
viewd through whiskey tears
taunting a vacant heart

life

Our death does not crawl
it chases mercilessly
fountain of youth lied

posessions

my fields, my mountains
mine mine mine  See all touch nothing
my souless kingdom

lust

taste won't quench desire
heat stains ***** like red cedar
blood stains innocence

Longing

A rose kissed by dew
Unless living in love's eyes
no life has meaning

Pinnacle

to be the best rose
one must smooth the thorns,stand tall
bloom and block the sun


demented

Dark lips and eyes shine
dark thoughts meld with needs afire
ever in death held.

She fell hard
He softened
Time was not kind
Neither was serendipity
They clasped hands and lips
And said the longest goodbye.

fear

iron fist closes
sins of the flesh turn to ash
pain is eminent


hate

spitting rain falls down
molten ire leaks down valleys
like spite in the eyes.


love

freedom in trust lies
when love fills the empty void
love lives in the clouds


anxiety

Like rushing rapids
Crashing channeled by constraints;
like death is certain


peace

Still calm waters hush
leaves fall in drifting afloat
In Serenity

jealousy

Reflected in eyes
Is the apple of another
the bite was bitter

Pride

twin horns lock
One as wrong as the other
death the only winner


joy

lightly dancing leaves
effortless on summer's breeze
troubles are weightless

Lost

A breeze caresses
like the hand that is no more
memories linger

found

eyes meet in heaven
The earth moves with great spirit
hearts weave together


waiting

endles rivers pass
time swirls hopes of love then stills
Eyes gaze lost upstream

betrayal

her eyes beautiful
his hand on her like vines
her eyes beauty died

his hands felt afire
hypnotic waves of passion
end a once true love

reunited

thick harsh forrests grew
Between them branched a heart
Twas an olive grove

longing

across endless stars
hopes find little way closer
to the lost heart beat

Desire

Folding bewtween flesh
woven souls wind through valleys
the molten heat lit

romance

Daisies scatter hills
he picked one of perfection
tracing her gently

Obsession

Love spins tangled webs
Truth sets free the unwilling
Trapping the blind ones


Psychosis

Voices unwelcome;
Torture rings through delusion-
Comfortably numb.


Helpless

The dark of sky falls
Stars struggle to shine through it
As hope does when lost


Envy

To find a sweet bird
To sing the sweetest soul song
But not to your soul

Depravity

A passion called forth
So clawed in and smothering
The light left her eyes


Apathy

Grim thoughts pull tightly
Red lines flow in a river  
The last cut, deepest.


Loss

Petals of thought fall
The wind scatters emotions
To the ends of earth

Oh, **** all this **** getting in the way of our happiness!
I just want to drown gloriously in your eyes like I used to.
To drink you in and be enveloped by your essence ,
to breath in the same air and kiss that kiss so openly begging to be tasted!
The chasm close enough to rue, too far to jump?
the universe conspires against us,
****!
****!
****!
Who the hell is in charge of this ****!?
A fraction of a fraction off, in one calibration
and love is completely ******!
Who writes this stuff?
Get a fuckng clue!

I want a new case manager,
this one is ******!