Is this real life?
Or is it just another dream
This one is different
This one is powerful
As breathtaking as a miracle
Like a lake
Calm and serene
Is this really what it seems?
Life is confusing
Producing
Curiosity
Reciprocity
Important and given
That smile melting away the madness
Wondrous and willful
Whimsically wearing down my walls
Driving me wild
With it's mild
Wickedness
But I digress
Not sure what this means
Still seems like a dream
But I realize
This is reality
And I'm pretty stoked...

This is a verse for George
This is a poem for Philando
This is a memory of Oscar
Continuing the fight for Malcolm
Venerating the wisdom of Martin
This is a call to action
Even if just a fraction
Causes this cause to gain traction
For people tired of the inaction
The people have spoken
And decades have passed
Nothing has changed
Protesters still getting gassed
With years behind them
Trying to stay quiet
One ******
Two murders
A thousand
It's no surprise
That this protest is now a riot
Flames flitting in and out of frame
Guns glinting
as bootlickers offer more of the same
Tin badges holding themselves
As above the rest of us
I scream in disgust
What gives you the right
To ****** my neighbors?
What gives you the right
To brutalize my friends?
These fires ignite a memory
And makes me sing
Noting the similarity
To Martin,
and also Rodney king
I'll stop now
My angry rambling
I'll leave you with a quote
Most would think
It was said by Malcolm
But it was said by Dr. King
It's not absurd
He said it
"A riot is the language of the unheard"
That is the wisdom of Martin
That's why we continue to fight for Malcolm
That's why I remember Oscar
I wrote this poem for Philando
I wrote this verse for George

I have a question
For my friends
Of single perspective
I've been pensive
And holding my thoughts
To my chest
Always neglected
I'm not even second best
If I had the choice
I'd raise my voice
And scream up to the heavens
Why am I not good enough?
Why do I
Get left behind
Like some forgotten toy
Am I meant to constantly
Be ignored?
Ripped up?
Thrown away?
Destroyed?
What's so wrong with me?
I think I'm ugly
And 15 people disagree
And of those 15 people
Not a one would actually
spend time with me
Then I think
It's gotta be my teeth right?
But no,
Because I've seen them with worse
So is it my personality?
Yeah I have issues
But most of them I deal with on my own
Am I too quiet?
Too shy?
Is that why I'm always alone?
**** man
I just don't know any more
Maybe I'm just bore
No
that's not the case
Maybe my time is just fun to waste
God this feeling has me on the floor
I'm screaming
To my ceiling
What the **** did you tell me you liked me for??

It's late
Or early
Depending on
Your perspective
Not doing great
A little too lonely
Reflecting on
My prerogative
Tranquility
Eluding
Me
Serenity
Exuding
See?
I'm a comet
Falling from the stars
But the ground is far
I'm coming in hot
This impact is going to be hard
Boom
Splat
Oh
What?
A little too dark?
Some times I can't believe
The **** that happens to me
The more I get hurt
The funnier it becomes
This hilarity
It's scaring me
I can't tell if this is real
I'm not sure
But I think.....
.....
I think I'm forgetting how to feel.

I think of you
Way more than I should,
But in this case;
I have to.
Because my voice
Doesn't do me any good
I wish it could
Oh I wish it would
Wishful thinking
From just an inkling
Of attention from you
I'm a distant guy
Quiet
And shy
But I can't hide
That deep inside
I find
No other has lit my soul
On fire
This desire
I feel is coming to a head
I look ahead
And wonder
My heart drops
Derailed by this dread
I ponder
Your energy
It just...
It brings me to my knees
And I feel weak
Powerless
I can't contain this much longer
With every day
Every word
Every single
Little smile
This feeling grows stronger
At first
I thought
Mere infatuation
But your presence is nuclear
And I bask in your radiation
You're an inspiration
For this dedication
Generations
Could not stop this
War torn
Burned
Scorned
Two souls
Terribly Tormented
To totality
Tediously Traveling
Tempest tossed terror
Just to find
Each other
The air around you
Cold
But inviting
Icy
But not biting
I stand and wait
As my breath abates
Taking in this winter chill
Before my eyes
Flecks of snow
Intricate crystal
A blizzard
Terrifying and blissful
Serene
The only thing that makes sense
But I have to hold back
Patience,
Steven,
Patience......

You know
It's rare
When I feel like
I like myself
Because every time
I get excited
I get shot down
Crash and burn
And once again
Sadness ignited

You know
It's sad
To think so highly of myself
Only to be told
No
You're not good enough
You're too nice
Too mean
To distant
To clingy
So quiet
But oh so annoying
It's rough

You know
It's not easy
Having these conflicts
Deep inside
They never subside
Knowing what I want to say
But also knowing
I have no right to speak
But in my mind
I just can't hide
From you

You know
Your presence alone
Can lift me up
Out of this prison
In which I lock myself
Of course this is something
I can't tell you at present
So I suffer silently
So sure I was
Of this serendipity
I was wrong
Now an epitome
Of stupidity
I close my lips

You know
I don't know
What the future holds
I've spent so much time
On my own
My heart is screaming
For someone to hold
But alas
It seems I'll always be alone...

Who am I?
What have I become?
No solace in solitude
Solidifying my sadness
In singular significance
Silently stewing somberly
In sorrow
What can be done?
Your brilliance is overwhelming
Tearing and gnashing
At the corners of my mind
Your radiance and energy
Over charges my eyes
So much so
That I feel blind
And I can't unwind
Heart strings
Concentrically coiled
Around your fingers
Every step
Every word
Every noticed common interest
Highlighting compatibility
From now into infinity
Intrinsically
You pull those strings
Bringing me closer
Yet so far away
SLAM!
Rip and shred
My heart yanked from my chest
Knocking me breathless
A gut punch
Too high to jump
Too low to duck
My brain creates
Images of competition
And I'm losing.......
Who am I?
What have I become?
What is this?
And what can be done?