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I wanted to say you're worth a poem,
but a poem requires thought.
And I am no longer willing to let
you consume my mind.

You've created a monster,
and a monster,
I'm not willing to be.

The image of another man
loving your body the way I used to
boils my blood,
it drains me with rage.

But you are not worth my misery
I deserve better,
and better I will receive.
Being suicidal doesn't mean i'm going to **** myself

Being suicidal is having this unexplicable ache while you're living

It's waiting for your life to end, and wishing you didn't have to carry on

Having this ache, an incapability to feel happy living, doesn't mean that I am going to **** myself -

It just means I wouldn't mind dying.
  Sep 2017 Stephanie Escobedo
Abbi
User cannot be found.
I suppose it's better that way.
User cannot be found.
So I wouldn't try to say "Hey"
User cannot be found.
A hole grows larger in my heart.
User cannot be found.
This is absolutely tearing me apart.
User cannot be found.
I'm sustained by the memories I keep.
User cannot be found.
And by the dreams that haunt me in my sleep.
User cannot be found.
I hope you're doing alright.
User cannot be found.
And that someone is appreciating you, holding you tight.
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If you all enjoyed this one, I urge you guys to check out my other poetry, as this one to myself is good but I'm much more proud of some of my others. Thank you all so much for your support and kind words. Glad you all could relate as I just wrote how I felt.
confusion fills every inch within me
accompanied with endless questions
yet all unanswered

i lay in what feels like a vacant room
despite her body laying in the same bed
furthermost from my touch
the space between appears to be miles apart

i lay restless as she lays in deep sleep
the silence in the bedroom seems like an eternity
placing my thoughts in a continuous loop of doubt
replaying our previous conversation
the tone in her voice echoed a wasted breath

i'm left speechless
every emotion has paralyzed my body
i feel my heart pounding against my chest
along with amplified sounds of tears colliding against the pillow
i lay there in silence as the clock continuous to tick
and the small beams of sunlight  begin to appear...
The sun continues on its daily routine
I can't fathom the thought of you being gone.

The pain,
Unbearable.

Squeezed my lungs,
Gasping for air.

Threw me down a 20 story building,
Left with a million shattered bones.

Hit by a train,
Nothing but destroyed flesh.

Shot a hundred times,
Burning sensation all over my body.

No pain will ever compare
To losing you.

I'll see you every time I close my eyes.

I will glance at the sky,
And remember you're in a better place.

— The End —