I saw flowers sprout from your chest
every time we spoke
and just from the way
your brown skin glistened
I knew that the sun favored
you the most.

I will sit in my sadness
as I drape it on like a mask
I'd even wear it to bed and alone
but never while sunlight hours pass

My sadness is often rooted in my chest
it's built to last
creating a storm
of anguish and despair
and outgrowing other emotions
in its path

My sadness looks like envy
and is filled with wrath
too much pride to subdue it
but easily broken like glass

My sadness looks like you
when your leaving

You,
when we're not speaking
You,
when you don't need me
You,
when your not near me.

My mom asks me, why is it
that I sleep so much
She questions if I think reality is good enough

I don't have the courage to tell her that
I prefer dreams
And I can't seem to muster up
the right words to say

reality is exhausting
and all I do is feel

I feel everything
whether intensely
passionately
and I don't know how much longer
I can take these emotions gnawing at my tongue
Or if I handle the scratching in the back of my throat
begging me to say how I truly feel

And I know better then to tell her
that in my dreams
are where I can meet
up with you

This fantasy
A timeless taunting
vision
of you and I
together

At least in dreams

I won't be tortured by the inability to touch you
I pull you in
tightly
as your willing to be swallowed
immersed
I'd be submissive to your touch

At least in dreams

I can listen to your heart beat
as you listen to mine
and my heart frantically drums at my rib cage
just from the thought of you
beside me

In dreams I can even leave small peaks
along your collar bone

I can intertwine our trembling fingers
and
leave
lazy traces
of me
over your flesh

At least in dreams

I can swallow your enchanting sighs
with our mingling lips
then use my fingertips
to study the rise and fall
of your hips

In my dreams
I will use my tongue to write poetry
permanently
along your satisfied skin

I know that in dreams
there's a chance

you'll love me.

I would drink her if her words came in a bottle
If my hands stayed steady long enough to quit shaking
and finally hold her hand.

She's the type of girl you could get lost in
The type of girl you could swim in
But instead you stroll around the shores of her body
And Ignore her vastness

She'll tell you
That there's much more to her then her moist cosway and taunting waves

She'll say that you shouldn't tease the tides if your not willing to go deep
and you can't seem to even drag your feet
along the sand

She'll tell you
That like an ocean you can't excuse her depth
Easy steps
Nor walks amongst her body
Won't account for your fear of swimming to far out
and being engulfed by her

But it would be a pleasure to be pulled under by her
And I wouldn't swim up until I understood the most secluded parts of her mind

Even then I would swim deeper
Explore her mind then sprinkle her sand on my feet
I would bathe in her rays
Then go back for a dip
Each time I'd swim farther out

After many days
Of falling in love
With the way her tides kiss my feet
I would go completely down and stay into the shadows of her

And right when I'm coming up for air
As I battle and deny the taunts of death
And I'm struggling to breathe
and gasping for air
I want her to kiss me

I want her to kiss me
To remind me
That she's worth drowning for

Writing this right now seems silly because
your feet were always firmly planted on the ground
but I was miles away dreaming of you and I together
And every time I tried to whisk you towards the stars
you'd laugh at me and say reality
is much sweeter.