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solfang Mar 2019
I killed my cactus,
distressed and helpless;
it'll never survive regardless.

I watered it more than I should,
for some reason it withstood;
as more affection is never no-good,
but intentions are often misunderstood.

one time I changed its ***
and had a second afterthought.
I then changed its soil,
yet I'm stuck in a turmoil.
these weren't the changes I seek,
for I loathe its spines -
so cluttered and bleak.

maybe I should have gotten
a tiny potted succulent,
or plants with stinger;
perhaps I never even had
the green fingers.
I have friends who were stuck in an unconventional relationship - abusive.
they believe they were changing each other for the better but couldn't differentiate their wrongs and rights.
----
side note: was asking opinions on what hobbies I should take up, some friends suggested caring for succulents - told them I couldn't even keep a cactus alive.
solfang Mar 2019
you couldn't love me
the moment you realised,
I couldn't love me
Been struggling with depression; wondering how long will it take before people leave
solfang Jan 2019
I wish it's my father's road,
For my father,
He'll take the right actions;
When strangers make a monkey out,
Of themselves, and induce fear
onto his daughter of flesh and blood.

I wish it is my father's road,
For my father,
Would not allow atrocity
To happen when he's on guard.

I wish it is my father's road,
For my father,
He does not have a vile temper,
But shows real anger when
I'm hurt.

And I'm hurt,
By names my father did not gave me,
On the road that does not belong
to my father.
Grandfather/father's road: A retort to druvera/pedestrian who act like they own the roads. Commonly heard, and said as part of Malaysia/Singapore's street language.

Feels like cat-callers owned the road these days. I live in fear.
  Nov 2018 solfang
Hanaa
How can emptiness be so heavy?
  Nov 2018 solfang
Alice Lovey
I know we've never been "together."
I know you said to move on.
I tried to be fine with wading this weather,
But the love in my heart still tells me it's wrong.

Now, I'm not saying I'm resentful,
But you did treat me like I was special.
Lately has been so uneventful.
And I'm starting to think this isn't a game...

I get a little jealous when you look at other girls.
I know we're not together, but... You are my whole world.
I get a little jealous when you talk about them too.
It's because we're not together, but...
You told me that you liked me... You told me that you do.

Now, I'm not trying to be weird, but call me, I'd give you my time.
Actually, I'd give you everything, cuz I just want you to be mine.
When I got too lonely, I'd just stare at your photos--
Soundless replacements for you, who knows.

You said I'm obsessive—come on now, don't play.
You like it when I'm open, you preferred me this way.
You said we'd be great together, don't think I forgot.
I cherish every sweet thing you said, so my heart doesn't rot.

Now I've deleted all of your things, cuz I can't bear to see your face.
My prized possessions... I should've given you space.
Why wouldn't you make me yours, like you wanted to?
Now we're apart, now we'll both just be blue.
And now I regret this—now I really do.
True, I'm a little weird, but we're both crazy.
I know what you're afraid of; I know it isn't me.
  Nov 2018 solfang
Alex B
Someone stole my color
And threw it to the wind
Scattered like ashes
I don’t know if I’ll ever find it

Someone stole my color
From the face I know so well
I saw it in the cotton candy clouds
And the teal ocean swell

Someone stole my color
I guess that’s where it went
The world looks so much brighter
Like something heaven-sent

Someone stole my color
And that’s what no one knows
Depression isn’t black
It’s the color of a rose

It’s the light orange in a sunset
And the yellow of a peach
Light blue, my favorite color
So simply out of reach

Purple like my favorite eyeshadow
No, lavender, I’d guess you’d say
And my favorite music artist
Although he has passed away

Someone stole my color
Now everything’s too bright
I suppose sometimes darkness
Isn’t the opposite of light

Someone stole my color
So I’ll wear grey and black
As if in mourning
Until I get it back
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