i am distant,
i am drifting through space.
i am floating,
i am paddling through waves.
i am hiding,
i am alone among the flowers.
i am dreaming,
i am half awake through each day.

i am closing the door,
i am leaving this body,
i am okay with being alone,
i am saying goodbye.

nobody looks for me anyway—
and that's alright

there's a certain way some parts of the city
are covered in graffiti that's impossible to erase.
there's a certain way my parents never forget
to kiss my forehead at least once a day.
there's a certain way some gardener in the countryside
remembers to water his rosebeds every morning.
there's a certain way the waves
never leave the shore for any of the ocean's secrets.

and in those same ways,
i want you to never forget me.

The morning after is when the heart is at its heaviest.
Remnants of the night before are broken in fragments,
barely alive but still breathing, like wilting flowers—
Neon lights, stolen glances, cups of coffee, roaring laughter, moments when you feel like you're in love—
They turn to memories left in a time
that isn't far away just yet,
But the distance of just a few hours
makes you feel lonelier than ever.
*(The past within your reach, yet impossible to grasp once again.)

Every restless night, I would stare in admiration at the sky, look up to the stars and wade through the constellations in search of you.
And I would find you there
Alone
Up in space, so far away
Because you were a star
And stars were made to be far away
I wanted so badly to be up there and watch the world with you

But you were a star

A heavenly body I can only hope of reaching
And no matter how hard I try or how high I jump or how far I traverse, I would always fall a million miles short

But I still try

And every restless night, I would look up to you in admiration
Knowing that though I cannot be out there with you, seeing you shine so bright would be enough for me

it's a resounding voice in my head,
"be more. be more. be more. be more. be more. be more."
there's a fire in my heart and
i can never feel enough in my own skin.
the world feels bigger than ever
and i feel smaller in the four walls of my bedroom,
and i want to do more
see more
feel more
be more
but i don't know how to.

on one fine morning i found you sprouting from the ground,
a burst of pastel among wilted leaves and tree stumps,
i could not understand how you came
to grow in such barren lands.

i spent days sitting by you to study you—
the way you'd respond to my touch, to the sun,
i was never used to such beauty in my life.

i fell in love with the flowers on your fingertips,
the petals that fall from your eyelids
when you cry as the sun sets,
the way your hands are gentle and soft
when they rest on the small of my back,
and the lingering fragrance you leave behind
to cast a child of nature's spell on me.

and i promise,
i will do anything to keep you beautiful and alive,
i will water the lands around you
and protect you from the crushing steps of people
and the drought of this world's ways,
just please promise
you will never wilt and fade away.

From the suburban trap I could never call home,
I speed through the freeway.
I could not possibly be late
for a little rendezvous with a lover —

My lover being the city
With its promises preserved in concrete.
I see the skyline from afar, lined with towers and smog
And I feel alive the way lovers do with one another.

And before I know it, I'm cruising along avenues
Uniform houses of white turn to skyscrapers,
I feel the subway slither beneath, filled with all kinds of stories,
As my heart beats to the footsteps of pedestrians.

And I stop at the main thoroughfare,
What was once the dull light I've always known
Now shines through an urban prism
And muted hues turn to vibrant, living colors.

And I am here in the glorious city,
I am looking at a mirage of light and sound,
In all its color, I hear it speak to me:
You are alive, you are alive.

have you ever been brought to tears by a single rose?

i was once given a rose
and when it started to wilt
i cut the flower from the stem
and held it in my hand.

its petals were closing,
longing to hide in a bud,
and like a child searching gardens
i opened the bud, piece by piece,
to discover what it hid beneath the bloom.

i spread the petals and it seemed to never end,
the stamen heart hidden deep inside,
and i began to cry -
these petals were soft as silk,
the pink rose could've sang me with a lullaby,

and i could not believe
that in such a chaotic world, a noisy life
i could still afford to hold something so delicate, so soft
in my own calloused hands.