Never will I fail without trying
Never will I ever give without dying
Never will I
oh no, not I

Three walls and some bars
For twelve years all I saw was three walls and some bars
Oh, and a small window on the forth wall
All because of a crime I didn't even know one could commit
Seventy six counts of ****
What kind of person can even do something so despicable
So downright wrong on so many levels
Then they accuse me of it
A being who couldn't even hurt a fly if it bit him on the right *** cheek
So instead of living free outside prison gates
I am being held captive inside three walls and some bars
With only a view of the small window on the forth wall

Mommy I'm afraid
The sky seems so dead these days
As if all its joy has just gone away
The birdies don't sing no more
And the waves don't crash like they use to

Mommy I'm afraid
The world seems so dead these days
As if all its joy has just gone away
But where ever the joy has gone to
I just hope it's not there to stay

We try so hard to control the past
But the past is gone is it not
So why waste our time on something that already occurred
Instead of moving forward like we were meant to do
And you wonder why we walk with a limp
Instead of taking long strides with just as much pride
Well I'll tell you why ,cause it clear you're blind
We stagger forward because we can't let go of the dead weight
You know the struggle that should of been left behind
And I know what many of y'all are thinking right now
"why would I forget the past that made who I am"
Well see there I'm not telling you to forget it
Because the past is the key to the future
It is what will guide us to the next step of life
So let the past do what it was meant to
Let it be your guidance
And not a ten thousand pound boulder that holds you back
Don't let the pass force you to crawl
Stand tall
Look it in the eyes and say,"I conquered you"
Because that's what you should do
That's what we all should do
Become the master of our past and use it to look forward to the future
I promise you it's ten times better than being on the floor

I have grown tired of being sick and tired
Always attempting to contain myself in a society unworthy of my containment
It's depressing...and stressful
Here I am screaming at the top of my lungs,but to the rest of the world I am mute
As quite as ******* mouse
They view me a mere child so incompetent he has the inability to do anything
They treat me like I'm a ******* *****
But do I ever really frown
No, I just smile as if everything is okay
But everything is not okay!!!!
In my mind I watch them all burn to ashes,
As I just stand over their scortched bodies eating their remaining flesh and bone
It is so twisted up there that I come to fear myself
It's a struggle for me to say anything because then they'll view me as a psychotic *****
When all I want is respect
To be treated as if I'm human as well
But then again do I really mind
If or when I finally snap they'll notice me then
They'll all notice me then
Then finally I'd gain some respect

Puff puff pass

I wanted to be cool so I gave it everything I had
Only to realize that the cost to be cool was a heavy mass
Now look at me,
The ******* in the grass
Over here trying to pull miracles out his ***
Scrapping up loose change to buy some new crack *******
Trying to get a quick fix from the ***** with the new mix
Whispering in everybody's ears
"I'll **** your **** for a quick lick"
Literally doing something strange for some change
Look how pathetic I became

Puff Puff pass*

sigh

Can't you tell,
I sold my soul that day
Now here I lay under the Sun's ray
Burning away
Hoping I'll leave this world in a peaceful way
All while knowing I wasn't cool that day

In fact,

I was nothing more than a fool wouldn't you say

I have been fighting for far too long to just lay down and die
Been shot at, beat down yet still managed to survive
What's funny they treat me like I have committed some type of crime
But in actuality the only crime I have committed is being that black guy
**** I never realized racist this world truly was
It makes me want to stand here and cry to the skies
What right does the white man have to be mad at my kind
They stole us from our homes and broke our mind
Taking our culture, our religion, taking away our whole ******* identity
This is some ******* I swear
Why can't the world just be fair
All lives matter
But if you look at the world today...
You can't tell

I can't breathe
My entire world is crumbling down upon me
It's enclosing on me,squeezing me,trying to pop me like a pimple
Trying to force to become this being that I am not
I CAN'T BREATHE!
So I just scream,"Get off me,leave me alone",
But no no no it does not go!
No,it just get closer and closer,
Whispering in my ear louder and louder!
Why won't you just leave me alone!
You expect me to be genius that I am not
This problem solver at a moments notice
Trying to compare me to them
Well I am not them,I am me
I am not this Almighty smart being
I do not have wings, soaring high above the skies
No,I run in the woods,attempting to hide from judgmental words
I run in the wind,across the seas, burning the words to ashes as I pass them by
Laughing yet crying because I have become exhausted from the nonstop comparisons
No matter where I go they seem to find me
Dancing around my head taunting me
I will never be free
Why won't you just let me be
Why must you hold me in these handcuffs trying to bend me to your will
Conditioning me until I forget who I am
Why...?
Don't you see I will never be like them
I can never be like them
Though I wish I could
I must find my own way
Whatever way that may be,
I'll find it and just be me

Little bear, don't be afraid
Everything is going to be okay
The sun will shine once more and, the birdies well they're just sleeping
The waves are calm but they aren't gone

Little bear, don't be afriad
Everything is going to be okay
Just close your eyes and go to sleep
And when you awake oh, the joys you will see

I was told everything happens for a reason,
But I can't seem to find a reason for this
Six years ago you took my grandpa
The man who molded me into shape
I looked up to him because I had no father
To me he was the closest thing I had to one
But none of that mattered to you did it
Hell no...
The man who got me to believe in you
Now you come to finish the job
Well ******* God, *******
You took everything from me
Now you're after my mother
The women who single handedly raised me
Who cared for me
Why...?
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO YOU!!!!
You said you'd protect us
What kind of protection is this
That you ****** the ones who were there for me
WHY DON'T YOU JUST **** ME!!!!!
Please just stop ******* with me and do it already
Just smite me down I beg of thee
Show thou mercy on my weakened soul
Just leave her alone and take me already
Please...I beg of thee

You think it is about the money
That this thin green slip can fill the dark void you left in my heart
Well newsflash, baby girl
Money doesn't buy love
It doesn't replace pure emotion,
And I loved you
That I could put upon my grave
How could you do this to me
Break my heart I mean
I wanted to give you everything
Make you feel as if you were a queen,
But you just dethroned me
You took my heart right out of my chest
Then ripped it to streads as if it meant nothing
Was it worth it
Do you feel accomplished
Stealing my very essence then just simply laugh in my face
I can't even be mad,
Should of saw it coming
But I was blinded by your mere beauty
I hope you pleasant life is hell
And I hope you burn there as well

Why can't the rain be seen as beautiful
Like it asked to be the symbol of depression
Why does the world see it as being the dark Lord of the night
As if its dropping are toxic waste ready to burn us all away
Why must the rain be viewed as pure ugliness
As if what it has done for us mean absolutely nothing
Doesn't it mean something
It has watered the crops that feed us
Gave us hope when none existed
But instead of being praised like it should be...
It is viewed as the god of destruction just like its counterpart fire
Another understood element
Rain...they sing songs about it
Wishing it to go away
Disgracing its name
Again calling it,"destruction"
But the way I see it...
Us being humans have no right to be calling anyone destructive
We have caused more destruction than rain could ever imagine
So in my eyes...natures eyes
Rain is beautiful and it is we who are the uglies

I write this letter with blood, sweat, and tears
Broken dreams that rest in a dark ally
With nightmares that have become reality
All that sugar and spice and everything nice seems like fairy tale of a distant past
One where the streets didn't appear to be the gates of hell
Erupting in chaos as religious people pray to their god for mercy
But where is their God when they are burning in a pits of everlasting fear
Where, no where to be found, that's where
But still they remain loyal believing that he hasn't forsaken them
It really is funny how faith makes one so naive
But at the same time I respect that
It is only fair for one to clinch so tightly on the idea that the world hasn't been completely engulfed by darkness
But to be real we will be the cause of our own demise
Not our so called God
If he does exist all he does is sit back and watch as the creatures he created cause the extinction of one another
It is sad but true
It is even sadder that this is our destined faith
Am I really the only one who sees it coming?
I just pray that I am not cause I cant fight a losing battle on my own
Please someone rise from the trenches of ash and save mankind from its own demise

I have been fighting with all my might
Shot down like I didn't even fight
**** this world isn't right
Guess I got to blow this ***** up with a stick of dynamite
I never wanted to go out this way
I just wanted to be free can't you see
My kind is still stuck in slavery
All I ever wanted was to live a normal life
Disappearing on the beach one summer night
But no, my ******* had to fight for what was right
So instead of kissing my dream girl
I'm kissing the bugs that crawl in and out my body six feet under
It wasn't even beautiful when my life was finally extinguished
Sigh maybe in the future my kind will see the light of day
But until then my soul rest at the bay
So if you need me you know where I stay

I would have never saw this day coming
The day I seemed so pathetic
Starring at my phone waiting for her to reply when I know she is sleep
I swear she cast a spell on me
This most be sorcery
Something about her hypnotized me
When talking to her I feel so weak
What's strange about it feels so good
It's as if my body knows she'd never hurt me
That she would protect me when danger came my way
Then shouldn't I be afraid
She has me at her fingertips
Able to bend me in whatever way she sees fit
She could stomp on me like a roach and I would still rise as if my skin was impenetrable
I know she is capable of doing such things but my mind just won't understand
I just want to be her right hand man
Holding her in my arms on a warm sunny day
Looking into her godly eyes and smile because she is so beautiful
I just want to kiss her plump lips and lose myself in their sweet taste
Relax in a open field with he r laying on my chest
I want to do everything with this girl
All because I love her so
And that is something that'll never change

I told them I was broken but they didn't care
They just laughed and mocked me until my soul disintegrated into thin air
Now I was lost...and confused wondering why am I here
Wondering why I even cared about these wretched fools

They beat me...

Punching me and kicking me until my heart became dull
Until my will to go on was holding on by a thin thread
Then stood above me just to spit upon my last bit of hope
Robbing me of the little life that pumped through my swollen veins

Now I'm dead...

I laid there like a mindless zombie just staring into their hollowed out souls
Thinking why me...Why innocent ol me?

Alas I rose...

I rose with eyes blacker than the darkest abyss
Blood dripping from the hearts of the demons that possessed my flesh
Knives seeping from beneath my rotting corpse
I'm going to **** you but you should know....

**This... is all... your fault

I do whatever I want
I do whatever I please
I don't give a **** about society
I want to be a player for the rest of my life
I want to **** a different ***** every night
I doubt anyone would care how I spend my time
After all it is my dime
Besides, the light don't shine in the hood these days
That's why I decided to live this way

Then she came
**** she just had to come

***** turned to woman and the hood life escaped me
That no way I'd be tied down **** was a thing of the past
Them eyes though...
I swear those things knew hypnosis
That smile was like a hurricane
Blew my *** a thousand miles away
I couldn't resist her
Not that I really wanted to
My body became paralyzed and my mind was finally made up

I need her
I had to have her
I just want to please her
She got me saying,"hallelujah thank ya jesus"
Thank you for placing this thing of beauty before me
When I finally said,"hey",  I couldn't believe it
She was just so nice and my heart just began to pound away
oh hell yes she gonna be mine this day
I don't care what I got to do, it's going to end up this way

I know this is going to sound quite dramatic
But twelve years a slave
Now I'm finally on my way out
My debt has been paid
My keep has been earned
The struggle has been real
But now I can smile without a doubt
There have been ups and downs
And times I didn't even have a clue
But now I can honestly say
With my ******* in the air
***** I made it and ******* too
The tears of joy flow from eyes
The laugh of disbelief break free of its chains
2016 has finally come
And there's my freedom dancing along

Will you trust me just this once
Close your eyes and take my hand
Listen to our hearts beat as one
Dance with me in the river of time
Lay with me under the maple tree
Run with me in an open field
Open your eyes and look into mine
Look at the stars twinkle in the midnight skies
Place your hand upon my beating heart
Listen carefully as it sings to yours
Do you hear its soft whispers
As it screams with all its might
Can you hear its cries
Begging for you to be mine this night

I'm a nice guy
A jolly one in fact
But it seems only my emotions of hatred make it to the outside world
Caging my smile in a dark barrier of misconception
Giving off this false impression that I am a demoned eyed beast
But I am here, somewhere beneath this hollowed mask
I am here laughing,singing,playing, waiting for the day I shall be released from this barless cage
But until that day I am just here
And believe me the day is rapidly approaching
I can feel it coursing through my veins
The pure joy pumping in my skin
Freedom is nearly here
After all these years
But my tactics will not change
I shall sit here silently looking into the outside world,
Awaiting my turn to bath in its glorious rays

Broken...
Broken hearts
Broken dreams
Broken fantasies that possess me
Broken manifested destinies
Broken...
Broken bones
Broken souls
Broken inner thoughts that get the best me  
Broken swords that seem to never miss me
Broken...
Broken mindsets
Broken sunsets
Broken clouds that now poor upon thee
Broken dams that wash away all life's worries
Broken...
The world we live in is just broken
But the pieces to put it back together are around us
The friends and family that surround us
So fix it and be proud you have us

She use to smile, ya know
In the distant past anyways
Never let anything take that smile from her
Until those days...
Until the days she watched parents get taken away
She was 12
Watched her dad get gunned down at point blank range
And her momma...
Well her momma went insane
Took her own life in vain
She got ***** 30 times a day
By ten different guys all ending the same way
So can you really blame her
She just couldn't take it anymore
It wasn't until 10 years later she finally got away
But she was forever changed after that day
A cold blooded killer
Drained all of their life force away
Now she doesn't smile
Forever remembering the days she was taken away
Forever remembering the days she escaped

If we were to be set free
Could we really call it a victory
So many people have died fighting for this cause
So many innocent people at that
Our ancestors,the ones who so called started this war
Well not start, but the first to retaliate
They told stories of a day we'd all be equal
That one day no matter the race,religion,or the color of your skin we'd all would be united
No matter how unlikely this dream seemed at the time they continued to fight to make it reality
Using both words and actions they fought
Many of which would never see this dream in action
Because of them we have come a long way
From being whipped in the cotton field
To somewhat being acknowledged as human beings
Now my brothers and sisters all alike
It is time to end this everlasting war
For their sake and our own
It is time to rise as one
One and no more than one

How the hell did we end up in this place
Hiding behind walls waiting for the other to take the first shot
What brothers we turned out to be
It’s tragic really, we use to be bestfriends
Had each others back through thickness and thin
Now it just seems like we are trying to drown one another in a pool of the others blood
It is so funny how life turned out this way
And it is not like we have changed as people
In fact, nothing changed
We just simply grew apart both going our separate ways
Now we are just like oil and water
Well, actually we were always like oil and water
Looking into our past we have never agreed upon anything
Always debating every thought that crossed the other’s mind
I kind of miss those days
So you know what...
I surrender, just pull the ******* trigger
End this stupid *** ******* between the two of us
This pain is something I cant do anymore,
Pull the ******* trigger already
I just want my ******* brother back
But it is clear things between us will never be the same
So if I cannot have him back in this world,
Maybe I can in the next
...I love you bro

They never told me that it would be like this <br>
They only told me that my freedom would come out of it <br>
So I said hell yeah for my freedom I'd do anything <br>
Thinking it wouldn't be too extreme <br>
But I was wrong <br>
This is an atrocity <br>
A blood bath of the epic proportion <br>
I didn't sign up for this <br>
Didn't agree to hear their screams on the other side of the seven seas <br>
To turn on the tv and see the catastrophic event I  caused with my own two hands <br>
All I wanted was to be free <br>
Not to be chained to hell's gate with restraints made of my own flesh and bones <br>
What have I done

They call me childish but I laugh with these eyes
The crimson tears that once flooded the skies
Always being looked down upon as if I'm Satan's child
The struggle is real and I don't know why
I'm just an innocent child who just wanted to survive
Fighting the tough battle that'll lead to his demise
Being weakened for reasons only god knows why
Stumbling on ever twig that he passes by  

But why...

I justed wanted to live my life
I didn't ask to be stuck beneath these skies
But what does one expect from an orphan in deskies
Blooded tears leaking from his broken eyes
If only they knew the truth
The pain I try so hard to deny
Calling home a box in the street
Curling up in a ball trying to maintain the heat

This life...

I would reach out calling out for mom
But mom is gone probably getting high again
There goes my lunch money dad was kind enough to give
Too bad papa don't want me refusing to take me in
He knows mom is an addict but he just looks at me saying I'll survive
Ha I'll survive after I starve to death
Because I have too much pride to be on the streets begging for money
Only for it to be used for my mother's "food"
It ain't my fault my parent's abandoned me
sigh why this life gotta be so hard


I didn't...

I'm so weak I can't complain no more
My legs feel like rubber and my stomach continues to growl
I can feel my life span shortening searching for a sad relief
It's the end for me, god please set me free
I crawl in desperation settling for the crumbs I find on the ground
Look at me pathetic
It's sad how life did me so wrong

ask for...?

Who would dare ask for this
I just wanted to be a normal if you know what I mean
I want to yell at my parent's saying I hate them
Knowing they still love no matter what
But that's not the case for I
The child that is about to die leaving my cursing why

But why this life I didn't ask for?

Tick...Tock
Gun...Shot
Run...Now
Don’t...stop
Tick...Tock
Gun...Shot
Dreams
Long ago, there was a little black boy with a dream
A dream to one day be free of all the chaos in society
Long ago, there was a little white boy who held a gun up to his head
All because he became fed up with the injustices that trapped him within his own body
They were eight
Since when did the playground for eight year olds become the life that not even us adults wish to live
Since when did eight year olds cry so many crimson tears that they form a river big enough to swim in
Better yet, drown in
Back then this was unheard of
Back then it was war against color
You know those as white as snow against those as black as dirt
Now it is just pure ignorance
You know black lives, white lives, all lives matter
WELL ***** THAT!
The children’s lives are what matter
You know the future of our very existence on this earth
But it seems no one really notice that the children are suffering from our stupidity
Which leaves only one question
Does anybody really care
Tick...Tock
Gun...Shot
Say goodbye...to the dreams...that have been lost

We fought this war together
Standing side by side through thick and thin
Surviving this prison as a team and family
Saving one another from the hell that existed in our lives
But now... That time has to come to an end
Now we walk our own paths
Experience our own adventures
Live our own lives
It is hard to believe that we are all going our separate ways now
That we are actually saying farewell after these long years
When you think about it's actually kind of sad
Because though we hate to admit it,
We will miss each other
But at the end of the day we all can just say one thing
Class of 2016...
***** WE MADE IT

I been missing you
It feels like you have been gone for an eternity
Year after year after year even though you only been gone for a month  
Everyday is the same
I would stare at the skies wonder why aren't you here, where are you
I just want to hold your hand, and walk among the sandy beaches
Dance childishly under the majestic waterfalls
Then lay in a open plain gazing at the stars, as we make a wish upon the one that falls
Though my wish has already came true
I met you, the most beautiful girl in the world
Your eyes twinkle like the stars only brighter
Your smile them lips are nothing less than perfection
Then your personality
Strong independent woman yet sweet and incident
So this is me asking you
Will you be mine

Why am I so angry
Like this world has done me so wrong
Who am I to blame for this madness,
This blood that is spilling all over my insides
This dagger I found  carving out my soul
Who am I even mad at
It's like I'm mad at everyone but no one
Like I have failed myself and my heart is confused
Where am I
I am lost within my own thoughts that haunt me in my sleep
Why am I so angry
I keep seeing these images in my head
Images of me standing in front of a fire watching souls burn
As I burn myself yet unaffected by the flames
Like I am the flames
Like I am the son of death
Who am I...Who am I

I lived...
      
          I died...

                    I was reborn...


          Now I rise.

Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Block block stab repeat
Die
Perish
Cease to exist in this world anymore
Everyday it is the same
It is the same everyday
Blocking and stabbing
Perishing and dying
What's the difference
What's the point
To discover who you really are
Well I could of answered that without this civil war
You're a monster
A pleague that infest this once peaceful land
A mere insect destined to die like the rest
Screaming at the top of its lung
But to the rest of the world you are mute
You are nothing
Another soldier fighting for "the cause"
What cause,peace
Since when has peace come from violence
From violence only more violence come from it
That's just how the world works
It cannot look the other way just because you have ambition
The world is a cruel place
But it's only a cycle made up many smaller cycles
Therefore we are just pawns in something bigger than us
Something that we just can't comprehend quite yet
The only thing we can do right now is play our role
As we continue to hope to change the world

There are some wounds that can't go untreated
But even when they are treated it doesn't make a difference
Because the pain has already embroiled its mark upon the host's soul
Feeding upon its strength until there is nothing left
Causing the sorrow to spread like spores as it claims its next victim
They're all dead now
Nothing more than a pile of empty husks clinging upon the dust
Slowly fading away into the wind
Until even the empty husk no longer remain

For sometime now I have just been watching everything you do
Just observing attempting to understand this feeling that pumps from my heart and conquers my brain
These images of you and I doing these events that seem so unrealistic
Us smiling together as one having the time of our lives
But that is only in my mind...
In reality the truth is a guy like I could never get a gal like you
It just goes against the order of humanity
You see I am at the bottom of food chain,
While you lay at the top basking in the glory
Yet still I take my binoculares just to look into your star like eyes that illuminates in the night sky
Once again beginning to day dream about driving off recklessly into the sunset with you in my arms
Giving you every bit of attention you deserve or shall I say in the word of the Great Albert Einstein
"A man who drives safely while kissing a beautiful girl isn't giving the girl the attention she deserves"
And you deserve it all
Every bit of it that a true man could possibly offer
So as I watch from a distance I hope to see a guy who can give you all his heart
Though I'd prefer you to be with the guy who wrote his heart

Am I prepared to face death, fighting for what I believe in
Draw my sword in attempt to protect the weak
Will I ever admit I'm afraid beyond fear,
Or will I die without the world ever knowing I was a lie
Should I seek help with these thoughts in mind,
From the very people I strive to keep out of this demise
Does it even matter what I think anyways
Besides,the real question is
When the sun rises tomorrow
Will I call it quits,
Or will I stay to fight another day

When I was a kid,
And I mean when I was a kid
I had a dream
It was a very profound dream,
You'd never think a mere kid could even have these thoughts

Over the years this dream just dissipated into dust
After a while there wasn't even dust
It had become a forgotten memory
Force subdue harsh punishment for existing
Until even the forgotten forgot it

Before long it had began to crumble
As it finally understood that it would never see the light of day again
That it would forever soak in the pitts of hell
Falling apart then burning to ashes
So in a dark corner it sat

Not that there was a light to began with
It cried in sorrow hoping that it would get lucky and be saved
That even possibly the forgotten remembered it
Days, months, then years past
And still it sat in a dark corner burned to a crisp

It comes to prove that even dreams have dreams
A desire to be simply fulfilled
Is that too much to ask
To be complete
And die only to be reborn in another kid

To my momma and papa at home,

I'm sorry, I'm not sorry
I'm sorry that your beloved son didn't turn out the way you wanted him to
That I took a gander in the reflecting pool when you told me not to

I'm sorry that I left home without asking you first
That I **** near died when I saw the truth

I'm sorry that I put up this wall that will forever be between us three.
That I didn't just come when you told me to meet y'all at the tree

I'm sorry that while I was looking at the sunset and dreaming of peace
You were being mugged by this low level thief

I'm sorry that I couldn't come to your rescue when you needed me to
That I abandoned y'all when you needed me most

I'm sorry I pulled the trigger that ended your lives
But please understand I did what I had to do to survive

I'm sorry that though in reality y'all survived
In my heart, the only thing I'm sorry about is the fact this is a lie

They call me Dr.Strange because I don't thrive from the same ambition as the rest of my generation
I don't desire to **** every **** thing that walks and breathes
I was never a fan of getting high and skipping school
Hell the worse I've done is beat a ngga's *** for making a girl bleed
Yeah I'm so ******* hood, badass if you would  
A permant resident of wish a ***** woods
Where we specialize in the art of whoop ***
But at the same time I am kind
As gentle as a cotton ball
I will protect those who cannot protect themselves
Instead of being that coward who is left asking what if
But don't get my kindness twisted thinking you can trample all over my tiny self
Stomping me into the ******* ground as if I'm some type seed
But if you still have the urge to try me get this image in your head
I will make sure my weeded foot travels up your *** and out  of your mouth
I will not be afraid to rain down the scorching sensation of the hurt all over your flesh and bones
Causing you to sprout like a ******* bean stock as I just smile walking the opposite way
It is sad ****** these days try so hard to pretend to be all bad-***, talking so much **** I don't know whether to give them tissue or breath mint
Then what makes it even funnier they beat on these young girls thinking it makes them look tough
But in actuality it makes them look that much more of a ******* to society
**** is this really what male *** have come down to
A mere nuisance to society
A nation of fuckboys and male hoes
Is that what we are really aiming for
sigh wow I wonder what I'll have for dinner tonight

It's taken a lot out of me just to breathe
Looking into society trying to be something they wish for me to be
So I wear this white mask hiding my true identity
As I drown myself deep within this black sea
Living my reality in this false dream
Dying slowly
Forgetting all about the true me
Watching these wannabes sipping their tea
As one by one they judge me realizing they did the same thing
So I guess I'm one of them now
A clone with no individuality
Staring at this picture of me wondering who that be
As I sip my tea waiting for the next victim to emerge from the treacherous sea

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

I know I made many mistakes in my lifetime
Many in which I should never be forgiven for
But I don't know if I can live this way anymore
Cause I have never lived soulless before
Now I can't see and my heart is struggling to beat
And I'm craving to be whole once more
Please make the pain go away
I don't want to live this way

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

I'm afraid, so afraid cause i have never felt this way before
I just want to hold her once more
Embracing her like I tried before
But I was a fool back then
I didn't realize what we had was so special
That we were actually meant to be forever
And not the short time I was hoping for
Didn't realize how much I falling for jer
Now I'm here wondering what is going on

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

I love her, I love her so much
Wish I could tell her how sorry I truly am
I just want to hold her hand and lay in the sand
You know be free under a tree and hope not to get stung by a bee
But I know for a fact she won't see what I I see
Especially after I betrayed her after she she trusted me
I stabbed her in the back and walked the other way
Now look at where I'm at
Standing at the corner with a trick bat
Fighting them off like they are a witch rat

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
Will she ever come back

Somebody call 911 cause I'm having a heart attack
I can't breathe anymore
Cause she on took my soul away
Now here I am staring at the moon wonder will things ever be the same
Will she ever come back
I hope she comes back

I'm done
You can call me a coward but enough is enough
At this moment I'm throwing away my gun
I'm tired of this pointless war
So many shots have been fired for no reason
But arc if you're reading this poem meant for you
I'm not in this anymore
So I am asking nicely now to leave me out of it
Aim your armed word in another direction
CAUSE I AM DONE.
I apologize if I hurt you in any kind of way
If you don't accept this resignation please let's settle it like men
Not behind these pointless poems
But face to face
You know how to contact me
I await your answer
Until then adios

You know I'm tired of playing this game
Always chasing the right girl away
All because I'm too blind and stupid chasing after the wrong
Why am I playing this ******* game
It's like I'm allergenic to the truth,
And just enjoy beating my self as if I'm slave
Like seriously what the **** am I doing with my life
Ruining it, maybe
Because I'm sure as hell ain't making it better
I mean look at me battle scares are bruises imprisons my body in the jail ceil in monopoly
Only if it were a game
But no, this real life
This is reality, what my life will be based off of
But stupid ol' me treat it as if it was a ******* game  
Why can't I get it through my thick skull that is not a ******* game
Am I retarted or just that slow
It is as if my ******* chained my arms to the **** floor and threw away the ******* keys
What the **** am I doing with my ******* life
Why am I throwing it away as if it is worthless tool
Am I really that much of a fool
Just sitting down on this stool watching the clock tic
What the **** am I doing with my life
No seriously someone please tell
Cause clearly I'm not bright enough to know

I could of sworn this was all a dream
Ya know, one of those freak fantasies
But in actuality this is reality
And you expect me to prosper in this so called society
Then you say God is with me
God is against me
God abandoned me
God left me wondering why the sky is blue and grass green
He left me to ponder as to why everything must be
As I drowned in the black sea trying to discover my identity
Then again I'm surprised I even have this opportunity
Considering the streets were my home, my only sanctuary
My parents were poor, and I struggled in school
My eyes were singed shut so I never thought I'd see the light of day ever again
BUT!
I was given the chance to escape the hell hole I called life
And now I fly like an eagle with a smile upon my face
Something I forgotten how to do so long ago
But it feels good
It feels good not to wake up afraid
Not to have to check over your shoulders every five seconds
To know that the people you care about are safe
And the pain, the pain finally dissipates into the dust
i'm free...
I'm finally free
But i'll never forget the pain that haunted me
I'll never forget how I came to be me

I use to write a poem everyday of the week
All about the injustices that caused the soul to weep
Because back then I still believed society had a chance
But now as I look around...
I hope you enjoyed your last little dance

I feel like a loser stuck on the same level of life
Dying on the same exact part time after time again
Retry retry retry
I remember retry more fluently than my own name
Just wanted to be someone
Mean "special" in another's heart
Instead I received a dagger in my own
As the blood spills in circle around me
Forming a barrier I cannot cross
I stand, because I don't believe I deserve to sit
Absorbing the hatred towards myself
For becoming this being that I am not
What was I thinking when I decided to follow through with this plan
I realized it was wrong so long ago but it was a simpler time
Back than I was ignorant to the fact on what life really was
That it wasn't about being liked
It wasn't about being everyone's favorite
Now that I know the truth nothing is the same
I look upon my hands screaming fake at the top my lungs
I am fake, this is not who I am
It's too late for me though
Cause though I realize that this not who I am it is too late turn back
Not that there is a back to turn to
All I see is a trail of ashes because I burnt the real me out of existence
I don't even remember what I look like behind the mask
How could of been so blind
Now I cry in my sleep as attempt to remove the mask
Knowing that it is permanently glued to my face
For it is now my face
Because my true face has dissolved to waste