It's insane that we could keep up,
to the noises around us,
screaming,
telling us off,
reprimanding us in loud tones.

I confined myself in a room,
only almost absolute silence
and the blowing of the fan heard,
never would I want,
to give up this tranquility.

It's too noisy outside,
even whispers could be shouts and screams,
I feel the world spinning,
my breath,
everything is so suffocating.

Words becomes aloud,
drowning in deep thoughts of others,
almost feeling abstract to stabbing,
depression kicks in,
and I'm not the same.

Please stop the voices,
the loud calls of unwanted words,
the clarity of speech.
It hurts.
It hurts a lot.

I never anticipated this.
The ease of our connection,
Sharing my space--mind flooded,
Drowning in apprehensive feelings as I lie awake next to you.

I am not used to your embrace.
Is it terrible that with you I feel safe?
Am I trapped solely within the moments we share?
When hours seem like minutes just because you are here.

i have never been chosen.
i was the saddened,
i was the source,
but i was always the less.

I come into a place
where everything is floating
It is a dark place for me,
nothing will pass into my liking

The houses are haunted
and thorns are everywhere
It is like a dangerous forest,
all paths lead to nowhere

At first I am scared
and I want to run away
Creatures have different languages,
I don't understand what they say

Everyone seems grinning
Like they want to tear me apart
What else would I think and do
If I feel they would break my heart?

But I have nowhere to go
so I decided to take the risks
I am scared but there's little courage
I am gripping with my fists

With the flicker of hope I wander
to study the mysterious place
Bit by bit I learn something,
enough to cope within each phase

Until I find little creatures
that thriving on a haunted tree
When I stop nearer to them,
they seem so scared, so afraid of me

I feel that sadness, I am bothered,
why they're afraid, I'm just harmless
My little hands could do nothing,
I just want to watch them exist

But  suddenly one of them comes
closer and flies in front of me
I realize it want to be handled
so I open my hand and let it be

It settles down on my open hand
while I walk around, it is my light
And I'm thankful for the little lamp
now I have lessen my fright

A little light that gives me hope
it makes me strong and lessens my load
That tomorrow I can find the way
to get out of this darkest road...

Here I am again.
Up all night again.
Fueling doubts again.
Daydreaming again.

Googling answers again.
Stalking social media again.
Wishing again.
Thinking again.

Here I am again.
Thinking about him again.
About you again.
Not knowing what to do again.

Maybe I should go to sleep
Instead of laying here, counting sheep
Again.