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DET Feb 2016
By:D.E.T

I always hear how people say writers don't seem to have a life
But in this line
That I write down

I'll make sure to put you down
With a frown
Yeah, say I'm mean
But I mean it
So, don't y'all dare
Declare war words


Cuz I'll defend
Those poetry writers you just offended

To those who don't seem to get it
I suggest you not take a step to step
Cuz you have over slept
So, don't you join in

Cuz we write what we feel 
and we feel what we write
We are polite
As we think

We sink
Into our thoughts cuz we think  
With this ink
But for some people
Think this is simple
Hope to those who think
That our ink
Is just ink
Just know y'all don't think

Us poets
We throw it
To let our words flow it
So, people can focus
On the bonus

So, just go forward
Cuz you got no word
For what poetry
Means cuz mostly

The words of us end up making some people get the goose bumps
Some make their heart get the jumps
Yeah, poetry has no age so, adults
Keep on writing don't take the insults
Cuz ain't your fault
That y'all got talent to make the words work

You jerks
Take your word jokes

In to those who insults
The adults
Yeah, keep it real
Cuz I feel
Cuz I'll take the action
To write a passion
Poem to those who insulte
The adults
Writing poetry has no age
Why do you think the page
Have numbers?
Why do you think there is a lot of members?
In Hello Poetry

Unfortunately
We write cuz we are alive

Poetry writer's don't want to die with unwritten word
So, that's why we go forward

We keep on peeking
And sneaking
Cuz our thoughts is flowing like a river
Cuz we want to make sure the readers get the figure

So, don't you judge the topic
Of what we write cuz we just drop it
So, poetry readers get goose bumps
So, don't use
An excuse
That you didn't think it without a thought
Cuz if y'all wanna get a shot
Y'all got it

Ain't talking about the  bullets
I'm talking about how the poet
Is gonna make you quit

So, don't you compare us cuz we are different
For what we have written

I'll write and drop
My thought
Cuz I'll plot
Those haters
Who are trying to make us get the aches
But let's see how y'all gonna get the shakes
When we poetry writers unite
In make y'all hold your breath tight

So, don't say that us poetry writer
Don't got a life
Cuz if write is so, we can escape
Reality

We can be handsome
But we cancel
Our handsome
Cuz are too focus
To note this
So, don't judge poetry writers
Copyright © 2016 D.E.T All Rights Reserved
dennis drain  Oct 2020
Untitled
dennis drain Oct 2020
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
Needle in my arm
Love note saying that I'm sorry i just loved you to much
I'm just ****** up now I'm gone
I know you don't like it when I'm on this ****
I got so much music in my soul maby I can sell it to the world
My words in there steros and I'm telling em all
**** it live life to the fullest till you ****** die
It could be tommorow
Baby I just wanna smile
Baby will you smile
Baby ****** smile with me
Theses wounds cut deep
I live a life you don't understand
I'm what you want but can you really handle who I am
I want shiny things and tattoos on my body so I ain't gotta say **** I can talk with my skin
Tattoo ink like a script you gotta question
Take a minute and get educated
Go to the left hand find the *******
Now notice how there's no more ***** for me to give my finger is feeling limp
So I'll just use my lips
**** society please baby run away with me
we can make each other's happiness a priority
First goal every day is to see your beautiful face lookin at me smiling
Xanax takes my memory's so baby please stay next to me
my vibe is heavy in my soul like a cupple tabs of lsd
I can feel you brightinin my world
Can you see me changin
can you see me changin
I'm trying but **** chaingin causes pain n I'm in the passing lane lookin out my passenger window
At myself
I can see the past in my face and the pain ive felt  
My life been ****** up who shuffled this deck what kinda hand I been delt
I got every thing I ever had,
and every thing I'ma ever gonna make, invested in this life
How they gonna stand there and watch me burn it like dryed leaves soaked in gasoline that we stand around in the fall to stay warm with homies while we kickin it
light some **** an have a cupple drinks
80 on the freeway we ain't speedin cuz honestly I got some product in the trunk
Selling ain't cool and it ain't easy
Even tho I know I could just go to work an make that cheese extra cheesy just cuz I got a lil guzmen in me.
These streets stay yellin at me in my daydreams
Talking bout the city in a drought flip a brick make a grip  
and get some fiends to rely on your buisness
At least when I'm weighin the work someone gonna be expectin me
and they smilin when I arrive
**** people been dreadin my presence my whole life at least drugs make me the one they wanna see
Baby im alive right now
I cant speak on next year **** I can't even promise you next week
Cuz when it comes to being about it fo yo homies yo family and yo friends then they say anything disrespectful and they likely ta catch lead
Body shots are Target practice we aimin for they head
Twenty five to life is what they tryina give us in tha 208
Half a zip of Crystal and they talkin life with without
man I was ony 21
Said if I told em three dealers above me I could catch probation and go free
**** that **** I run around with real gangsters take yo head off your shoulders
If you got loose lips round us you gonna learn
We catch an OP we spread the word
That black and white already been sent ta everyone ya heard
you aint aloud to play no more sorry but you broke the rules
If my mouth woulda opened right now I wouldn't be breathing
My paper work come correct you better believe it
**** y'all draggin my name in the mud
I been solid since I was to Young to be doin this ****
Girl if you wit me you gotta stay solid onehundred percent
Everything is handled in house we don't dial 911
unless we need a doctor or somethings burnin up
**** twelve they wanna see me hurting
**** twelve
They want wanna catch me serving to
these fiends but just these crack heads waiting till I can't supply
then they giving up my name to 5-O just ta keep themselves on they level
Chasin that high is like running from the devil
But he got a leash chokin you till you bowin down at his knees
Life lived
life wasted  
Life on the edge
**** it let's see the world I wanna make it
This my world I'ma do what I wanna y'all gonna know my name I'ma top shotta dumb dotta
**** around fall in love with the life you see around ya
Stay with me girl we gonna take a million dolla
Make it 4 times that over night
******* that grind baby so you can kick back and enjoy life
Shoppin in hollywood on rodeo drive
red carpet pictures capturin the moments we together in life
I'm fascineted by your body
Far from ordinary baby your unique
Can you handle this
Life on the edge I can see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
Baby will you live life like the end is already happening
Treasure every moment **** what ever all thoes losers think
They say I'm wastin away
Druggin my life down the drain
Well let's be honest here my name is Dennis drain so pour your liquor dump your dope out let me take it all to the head
I can barely breath I might have just OD'd
I think I just OD'd
If you find me and I can't breath
Baby will you scream for me
Baby I'm sorry this is how you ever had to see me
Live life like I showed you **** what hurts deep inside
find beautiful places an people with smiling faces integrate with there minds to create a place on this world to sit down and just think
Even in the darkness of what comes after my last heart beat
Your memory will keep
My soul feeding off your energy
seeing you and me close
back when it was back then
Ya know not just in my head
But here in reality baby this is where I can feel your every breath
In a mansion smilin with cash
dressed in the latest fasions
Millions of people saying they fans of what I create
I changeed they lives with the music I made
I hope that this dream comes true cuz I'ma promise you that when it do
I'ma bring you wit me we gonna be rich like we filthy
swimmin in bills wit blue faces all hundreds no 20s no 50s
But if these dreams come up short and I'm stuck in this place will you stick with me
here on this dead end street
Is a 9 to 5, Makin 17.50 enough for your beautiful body to wanna come closer to mine
We might rent forever may never own a house
and I might go away for some time you might have to wipe them tears from your face
It's ok still crying
I love you
your mine
Put a smile on you mouth
Even when it hurts girl
If I'm wit you or i bounced
In the penatentry or on the couch
you what makes me smile baby girl and don't you ever forget that
Be mine till the end of time
But only if you won't regret that
When we find the end we can build on till infinity can't streach any more
Every moment till the moments finley find the end and we are no more
In reality or my memory cuz time took what I love away from me
baby you best
Baby  come close  I'ma hold you in my arms untill you tell me to let go
keep ya warm like toast  
butter yo bread when we in bed
hope you like the way I make you feel when I give you my passion
hopefully you see that this kinda ectasy don't just happen
I'm tryin my best to keep you feeling happy
Mind body and soul
Make yo body thirst for me
Girl I know yo smile only works for me
I see theses other women they looking good
but you the only one I wanna dance for me
Stop doubting your beauty it's not attractive to hear such a goddess of a women doubt the power of her attraction
Yo eyes catch mine and the police might as well of pulled out a 9
Cuz i cant move
I'm stuck on you
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I can see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
If I die I swear you'll be my endless dream
Baby baby please let's take life like it's drugs and do this **** together
feel the euphoria like we the same soul forever
They can't handle this **** that we doin
We don't fit the mold so baby we just out here bein different
They don't like that
they stay trippin
Can you handle me baby it's ok if you can't
Just let me know what it is you looking for in a man
If I can't give you what you want than I'll let you go
Cuz your happiness is what warms my soul
Even if it ain't with me
Every time I wake up weather its late afternoon or early morning
Depending on what I been dosing
Depression holdin on to me an I know I'm hard to love
But even when you with some other man if you cracking a smile
Everything goin good
you got money and a place to live
Then I'm smilin wit you I hope one day I'll meet yo kids
The world could die if you and I could float forever in space
with each other in the endless expanses of space
I hope we float around an never age never feel hunger
never feel pain
Fill each other with happiness an fix the broken thangs
Baby I know we just met so maby I'm crazy I really don't know yet
But I'ma offer you my heart you can have it
If the blood scares you
you can turn off the lights and feel it beat in your hand
Feel the energy and power every beat you feel sitting in the darkness
Baby I'm here for you
and every moment your with me I lose grip on reality
your the drug I want
just please forgive my evil deeds my past is full of terrible things
I try and keep that stuff down deep but it comes to say hello sometimes **** I hate it when these memories figure out how to make catchy rhymes
and when it does happen please don't think any less of me
I'm slowly changing please believe
I'ma be honest I'ma always do me
Sometimes doin me means sacrificing things
Things I love
Things I can't put a price on easily
my freedom is worth to much by itself
Now add YOU to my list of things they take from me if I go back to county and ******* I don't wanna go in that cell
"**** twelve"  police ain't **** catch me at the red light if you can
I'm quick to split soon as them red and blues start to flick
I want the love you show me to hold me when I sleep
**** thin blue mats and cold concreat
My body aches an I miss that cute twiching you do when you finally slip into your dreams
Can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me that I'm who you wanna spend every moment you got left breathing in this life with
I know things don't always work out and we may never make to marriage and kids
But no matter what every word I've said I've meant
It's crazy cuz we just meet but I'm just kinda that way
Meet you one day the next I don't wanna let you go
I guess I'm kinda clingy but I'm blaming you an the way you sitting there with a blank stare licking your lips
I wanna hold you by your hips
Kiss you everywhere an feel your body twitch
So I'ma stay close play it by ear till you tell me to leave or we've been a thing for a cupple a years so it's kinda clear we a thing not a fling
were long lasting not just a quick  burst of hormones and physical addictions
I wanna feel you in every way but I wanna sit down and talk about your day
You were gone and I wasn't there
I miss you no put up your hair I like it when you use words to massage the parts of me that I only share with you
No matter what you being alive makes me wanna live life
It makes me wanna see the world
Cuz baby girl you make it easier to breath  
but at the same time my breath is short
I'm feeling light in the head
An weak in the knees
These feelings are intoxicating
A needle in my vain full of quality drugs can't match the moment you enter the room
Please baby come in leave and come right back into my heart
Every time I see your face after your dose of beauty has been outta my grasp even for just uno, dos, ... ****
thoes two seconds couldn't pass fast enough
I look you up and down I love your face your body is so perfectly curvy
Your outline got me followin the lines like I'm doin geometry
Girl you could make a man fall in love with math
I wanna find the angle you at when I'm holding yo ***
You catching feelings girl yea I know
Me an you we falling hard
we so hot our passion mealtin yards of snow at Christmas time
Green lawns in the winter months
We lounging like it's mid July
Sittin in a quiet place where it's easy to appreciate our own vibes
Can you feel me livin inside
I'm the reason that your heart keeps a smile
You the reason that my days go by to fast
Every moment with you is delicious I just want an order of it
Now super size it I want these feelings ta be never endin
Takin pictures now cuz in this life don't nothin last
I wanna look back and see how we used to act
baby can you handle this
Baby can you handle me
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
If I die will you ****** scream
aint pay **** for it I got it all for free
Got home opened up the bag
Looked in to see your eyes starin back at me  
Used your vibes to fill a 100 CC IV
Baby please swim trough my veins
can feel the beat to my life
can you Bob yo head to the sounds when I live and breath
the notes inside my head keep me from fallin dead  
Every beat carry's  my soul and passion can you taste it
it's thick in the recipe they used to creat me
a mixture of insanity and passion
Someone please add a little common sense to to the mix it might help make a happier ending
I got the bravery but sometimes I just do
I don't always think and that's what's gonna tear me away from you
In a concreat cell that I can't even get up in without my feet freezing under me.
I make these dumb decisions when  I'm faced with two people opposing me
Mine or there's
So either you handle business or get punked out like you was raised buy some *******
I can't sit back and let these lames run they jaw
like they about they business
we throwing hands no question so baby I apologize If they start talking that **** and I ki one of them *******
I aint askin you to lie
I'm just asking you if you really about bein mine
Cuz if you were then you would stay solid hold back the fear and uncertinty
and tell all thoes people that wanna put me away
that I ain't do nothin that I'm innocent
and I'll tell the world that I love you till the very end
If you feel like you can't keep my secrets
Plz just do what your heart tells you is the right decision
cuz the truth will set you free
in that position it'll give me 25 years to think
25 years away from you
25 years away from me
25 years that I lose myself trying to find you inside my head
25 years to replay memories from the short time you been Makin my world seem brightened like your my sun your existing  decides if I live or die
Your memories never fade
I keep them in my mind on replay
Over and over in my head
slower and slower but still they move to fast
Glimpses of the recent past  that I wish my hardest would never pass
Baby can you handle this
Life on the edge I see the end with every kiss
Baby will you die for me
Baby if I die will you ****** scream
Baby if I die tear your ****** vocal coards to peices singing this song on the top of the world
high as **** with your last **** down at the bottom in the scared little girl you left behind when you came home with me
let my name echo in the world baby
I wanna be heard
I want my memory to burn into the minds of the ones who are just like me
BHC
Black hoodie crew yea that's till death make a generation follow my every breath
I want you to be with me
when they introduce my crazy *** to the world you that's listning
When I have thousands of fans and my name they scream
I want you next to me
Baby shine with me
When it gets dark and your alone remember that I ****** love you and justbe greatfull that I was
once asked  to spread words that create lifestyles
lyrics that give people hope in the world even when your seeing shadows
I want people to wanna be me and I want them to want you cuz I have you and they can't you love me
Cuz they love what I stand for and you stand next to me girl
BABY CAN YOU HANDLE THIS????
Ecstasy
Ronald D Lanor May 2013
What's up, Chicken Little? Whatchu think you know?
The sky is fallin', Skittles droppin’ out the rainbow.
Don’t hate me cuz I’m fast. Don’t hate me cuz I’m keen.
Hate me cuz I got more tiger’s blood than Charlie Sheen.

My rappin’ is a skill, wait, matter fact a habit.
This rhyme is so rare I threw a Masterball at it.
Ima get you to the point when you done think you had it
then keep on chuggin’ through like the Energizer Rabbit.

Runnin’ this game since I was born in 1990.
Ball so hard like Waldo everybody wants to find me.
Watch me as I fly free, practicing my Tai Chi,
soarin’ through the sky like Ben Franklin with his kite key.

I slay wicked verses like they fire breathin’ dragons.
Always down for an adventure so they call me Bilbo Baggins.
You got your feet draggin’ from all your pithy laggin’.
Chokin’ on my farts, left you in my dust gaggin’.

My girls be elegant while yours be nothing but ******.
No diamonds in my ears cuz I don’t like to be flashy.
You just can’t get past me, kilo in the backseat.
NOS tank in the front so them piggies can’t get at me.

Lyrics like the plague so they call my **** Bubonic.
Sittin’ at the bar gettin’ drunk on gin and tonic.
Blowin’ on that chronic, so fast they call me Sonic.
Watch me transform as I go Megatronic.

Is my **** too fast? You need to stop and smell the flowers?
I am just a human, I ain't got no special powers.
I could go for hours. The rap game I devour.
Like Frodo with the ring takin’ down the Two Towers.

My rhymes are heavy duty while yours be made of plastic.
Better call the Doctor cuz this **** is getting’ drastic.
Snap back like elastic, I made an instant classic.
Light the roof on fire with a flick of my matchstick.

I’m tellin’ all them haters that I’m wicked sick nasty.
Dissin’ all they want to but they too scared to come at me.
I go where the cash be, rappin’ makes me happy.
Don’t wash my hair for days cuz I like that **** *****.

All I really wanna do is have a rap battle
cuz my rhymes are so disgusting they’ll make your head rattle.
You’re in a boat with no paddle, on a horse with no saddle.
It’s lookin like you’re gonna hafta ******* straddle.

I know I have the sickest flow that you have ever felt.
There’s nothin’ you can do it’s just the hand that I was dealt.
Killa Kraig will make you melt, yes it matters how it’s spelt.
Get it right the first time or I’ll leave you with a ******' welt.

My game will give you chills from your head down to your feet.
Sittin’ on the couch cuz I love to chill with Pete.
I’m the man to beat cuz I bring all the heat.
Grew up in the burbs, didn’t grow up on the street.

They gave me a gold medal when I scored a perfect 10
cuz I got the versatility of an erasable pen.
Singin’ like a ren, no need to pretend.
Murkin’ rhymes like zombies like my Asian friend Glenn.

Honesty’s a virtue so you know I never front it.
Always swingin’ for a homer, ain’t no need to ever bunt it.
Now you really done it, watch me as I run it.
I made it to the center of the Tootsie Pop in one lick.

Crusin’ round town in my green 6-4 Impala.
Drop so many bombs that you think I worship Allah.
Dolla’ after dolla’, cute as a koala,
but ruthless as a renegade Viking in Valhalla.

My lyrics kick you in the nuts now you talkin’ like a munchkin.
Drop you to the floor like some Mohammed Ali punchin’.
Where is Conjunction Junction? Do the number crunchin’.
Get you home by midnight so you don’t turn into a pumpkin.

Stickin’ to the game like some universal duct tape.
Give you three tries while I nail it in one take.
I'm the sugar on the cornflake, the reason for an earthquake.
I'll toss you like a salad or a chicken in some Shake n’ Bake.

Now grab a pen a paper cuz here’s the final lesson.
I know who’s on first so now tell me what’s on second.
I did the number checkin’, I’m the best I reckon.
While you standin’ at the wrong end of my ******’ Smith & Wesson.
Benji James May 2017
Take a glance
Take a chance
Take a deep breath
Breathe in the fresh air
Cuz you know that I'll do
Anything for you
Run your toes through the sand
Feel the spark that we both share
Trust in every one of God's plans
Come girl take my hand
Let the sun soak into your skin
Cuz you know I'll do anything
And give everything for you
You know I will
I'd lay my life on the line
Let me be your guide
Let me heal the scars
You hold deep down inside
I'll hold you close in my arms
Just like the sky holds the stars
Girl, you are perfect
just the way you are

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Everything you do
It's so **** cute
And everything you say
Makes me happy every day
You're so sweet when you blush
Oh I just can't get enough
Of your perfect face
The way that you taste
Every time our lips collide
You ignite the butterflies
Deep down inside
And I hope I do for you
You know it's true

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Princess you know I'm here to protect,
I'm here to defend
Can you feel my heart
bleeding through my chest
I'll bleed for you; I'll bleed for this
Cuz you're everything I am
I won't leave you a mess
I'll do everything I can
I'll wipe the smudged mascara
From beneath your eyes
Every time you cry
I'll take your pain and make it mine
I'd write a million lines
Just to see you smile
I'll hold you tight
Let's light fireworks tonight
To brighten up your skies
I'll never lie, yeah girl it's true
I'd do all of this for you

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

Let the fire of desire
Light that sparkle in your eyes
I love your smile
When you say
would you stay a while
Your teeth are so white just like the stars
that shine so bright
You're my lover, and you are my life
I see you as my future wife
So put your faith and your trust
Into our love,
cuz you're the only one
I truly want
The one that I love
You take me to heaven and beyond

I won't let you break down
I won't let you fall
I'll be there every time you call
I won't let the storm
Come crashing through your walls
I'll be there through it all
Yeah you can own my heart
I won't give up
Cuz I'm addicted
to everything you are
Cuz you're my drug
I know that this is love

©2017 Written By Benji James
Brandon brown  Oct 2013
My Life
Brandon brown Oct 2013
Never lived in the hood, I been good
Grew up in Glendale cuz pops did everything he could 
To keep this big roof that covers everywhere I stood
And keep bills paid so the house work like it should
But, that don't mean that I ain't live with no problems
I grew up liking girls and all I tried to do was holla
From 05 to 09 I used to always pop my collar
And walked up to see what a chic would do for a dollar
But come 2010 I learned a dollar doesn't get far
Start asking pops for money, he said what you need these bills for
I said just to have cash so I can buy stuff myself 
He said how is it yo self when it's coming from my wealth 
And in the end he was right so I ain't ask for no more help
Got a job, got paid, getting green, sea kelp
And well, I guess it all turned out great
From 210 to 2 now I been working for the cake
More hours, more pay
Is what I always say
Just to go and motivate
So I can get through everyday
Man I do this for thrill, I don't really need this money
And stop mugging me down, I ain't tryna take yo hunny
But please don't get mad if she like me cuz I'm stunning
And you dressing kinda bummy
Man yo breds ain't even gummy
My high tops get their own box
And my boxes reach high tops
My collection's a high top
You can't even make gumby
You funny
You mad at me for what ? Yup, nothing 
But haters gone hate so ill let you do what you does see
Cuz time don't ever stop, matter fact it's running from me
And I'm tryna catch up cuz less time means less money
So you go do you, and I'm gone do me til I'm done g
Cuz I ain't wasting sand in my glass if you don't love me
And don't be fake now, I don't want you tryna hug me
Cuz you know germs is germs and haters be on that *****
Yeah im nerdy, I'm smart
I'm a walking piece of art 
And I write these rhymes for fun
But it all comes from the heart 
I keep hundreds, yes hundreds of poems inside the dark
And more hundreds, maybe thousands get lost before they start
You know how you at the store putting stuff in yo food cart
Then get home and wonder what you bought all of this food for ?
Yeah these poems fill hunger that resides deep inside me
They are not just fun, they have now become a pride for me
And maybe it'll be more, maybe this pride can make it shine for me
Maybe all these girls around the world will build shrines of me
But now I gotta go, cuz you know how time can leak
Plus I don't want y'all think that y'all know what defines B. 
But I can't stop there, it's unfair to the public
And I know that y'all like it but I dare y'all to love it
Cuz if you love it then I'll keep going
Till it start snowing
And you knowing
Even though it's snowing
It ain't never boring 
Cuz these bars wasn't meant for snoring 
Meant for adoring fans
That'll still love me when I'm old and I'm done touring
I could do this for the rest of my life
I just love it, it takes pain away and dries every eye 
With out poems, I don't know man I just might die
This is real, when I write I just cannot lie
So, you can catch me in my notepad writing 
I'm tryna make this gold, y'all tryna start fighting
And to me that's motivation, I ain't saying that I'm liking it
I'm just saying if it's there I might as well get insight from it
And it's crazy, I just noticed that I can't lose
When it's bad I'm still good, when it's good I cruise
I'm sorry that it all happens at the expenses of you
But you can't stop my grind, imma do what I do
100
I'm tryna make it from the mil to the summit
I heard it's all lonely but the top is my abundance
So I'll bring who I want I don't care what the rules say
Chillin above the competition straight playing 2k
That dream will never fade in
That's why I always stay in
Cuz I wanna see the day where I can say that I made it
And they love me
I see the finish line so I'm running
Got a talent and a dream and you can't take that from me
No obstacles can stun me
I don't care about who judge me
I got my mind set so just tell the top I'm coming
Cause I am
All my life I've paid,
I've paid taxes, dues and sacrifices
I've paid bills, attention and detention
**** I've even paid a visit to the county jails a few too many times, either as son, brother or inmate
Either way I've paid, but
Why Do I Gotta Pay?
Why do I have to pay every time a cop sees me on the streets,
Why do I gotta pay every time they slam me on the concrete,
Why do I gotta pay every time they serve and protect me,
Why I gotta pay taxes to subsidize the incomes of those who disrespect me,
Answer me,
Is it because I came from a broken home, or because my Mama was on drugs and my Pops left us all alone,
Is it because I was baptized into the street life b4 I could even decide between wrong and right,
No, no, no, I know why, it's because I look too Mexican and not enough white, right? Nah, it's probably because all my friends are high school dropouts, washed up or strung out,
Or is it because the Indigenous, Latinos and Africans are worthless, well ****, I didn't get to choose my race but if I did I'd still choose Mex!
Why Do I Gotta Pay?
Is it because I'm a threat to the status quo and looked upon as the states foe, well that's not fair, I pay a bigger percentage of income tax than Mr. Koch, Wait! I think I know! It's because my family's from the other side, **** that border! Daddy, why couldn't you be white? It's like what I told you on the 16th of September, We don't belong here because we have indigenous blood, remember? This is the European man's land, duh! Y'all are just so ignorant huh?
Why Do I Gotta Pay?
Is it because for a little bit of contraband from the Earth I'm a convicted felon while Ray Rice is free after he crushed his wife's skull like a melon, is it because I can't find a job and still I haven't robbed, is it because my school won't give me financial aid so I was forced to sell dope to get paid, but still I don't get paid, I pay taxes or the carnales will have me put in my grave
Wait! I know why I have to pay!
It's because I'm a slave, not to celebrity gossip, consumerism and materialism, but to imperialism of the state, I'm enslaved cuz I got too much soul to behave, my stilo is Zapatista & I'm **** with my head shaved, They made me a slave cuz they know I'd take their wombmen away, not by force though, cuz who could resist a date from this Latin Lover from around the way, they mad cuz I got Spanglish from the barrio, lingo from the hood & an academic vocabulary from the Pecker Woods, they scared cuz they're wombmen wish they could, every time I step out Miralo, I'm lookin good! These cops could never be us, and when I'm thuggin, Man, I wish they would! Im a slave cuz I don't understand, understood? I'm standing over my land, understand? Cuz I don't ever stand under! I only Overstand! That's why I gotta pay! Cuz I'm a slave that won't work for minimum wage, I'm a slave that can't be put in a cage, Im a slave that don't know his place, I'm a slave that just won't go away, I'm a slave that can't behave, I'm a slave that charms sharper than a blade, I'm a slave that steals hearts and makes way, I'm a slave that plays and never gets played,
And that's Why I Pay
Cuz I'm a slave that chose his own fate ✊
Lately I am quite bothered by an
Innocent comment from a friend
Who explained, how he only obtains
Pain, when he reads what my pen

Gets sent, from an end
my mom Says was damaged at birth
And all though it's a joke. I'm told
Every joke contains truth, so first

Let me warn you of the absurd
Outbursts that may occur as u read
Hyperboles, that fabricate trolls that
patrol, with holes in their soul, lead

With similes that prove chivalry
Has now shriveled like these
Two nuts, hidden by my gut so if I
erupt, and ****** proceeds

Excuse the poetic **** bleed;
That are like a *******'s **** beads
But it's how I express what's painfully painful to me, don't be **** please

With that said, so I can now tread.
And wrap my head around the topic
explaining, why all my poetry
is sad, and often

It's cuz life is a beach, like the tropics
And when it's not, to be honest
I get lost in the moment, but also
When I try to write "happy" it's novice

And is more narcissistic garbage
Self righteous, lacking meaning
Like.. Look Here... I'm happy & gay today, oh ur hungry? Cuz..I'm eating

And you should too! Oh your broke?
Your down? I get those days too
So here's a rainbows & a flying unicorn that ***** glitter when he poos

And Don't you worry my friend,
It's always darkest before ****
Everything happens for a reason,
Your grampas cancer will soon be gone

soon as he's dead, So it'll work out
By the way I used that example, cuz
My grandfather died of cancer a few years back, and I was told that it was

For a reason. But when your readin
You want honesty, poetry that's blunt
So I refuse to **** my reader, like a
Preacher, who touches a boys butts

But in a godly way of course, cuz he's a
Man of god... Are you annoyed?
Cuz that's what rainbows & butterflies sound like to a reading alter boy

Looking for solace, looking for depth
Someone who knows how inept
How lonely, this ****** phony world
That only the snakes seem to get

What they want, and flaunt,
so it can haunt them more,
But most don't get what they want cuz
theyre too busy just trying to afford

What they need, and when the Greed
Exceeds what optimism is left
All they have is knowing how sad.
Another felt, cuz relating has swept

Away the feeling, so hard to accept
When their overwhelming life crept
With emotion. Bringing the notion
He can't relate to people or connect

So both monetary & Mental pay
Starts to mount, as a debt
Shows amounts to physically mount him. Til he even feels short on breath

Starting to consider that only death
Can relieve whats received so yes
Forgive me if my writing lacks,
Calming oceans, possessing even less

Patronizing, condescension, set
On a scenic mountain top, where I
Tell u how beautiful, ur office cubical
That's suitable for monkeys is, why?

It's a lie, but ok...the sun will come our
Tomorrow like Annie would say
So when it comes Tell ur creditors who Harass you 200 times, a day

That today's a new day. And that debts
yesterdays, and should be left
In the past. Where they say, to leave
Worries, which is insulting, but yet

I AM the dark one, with poems lacking
Goldielocks featuring her poorage
Or Snow White who lives with 7 men? deflowered more than florist is

Deflowering, & who am I to question a phony psychedelic, enchanted Forrest
It's not my business who's Orifice
A draf is, usin like it's a drawer of his

Cuz dwarfism like Orphism's an art, Snow White users for organisms
No wait, that's not right. Anyway...  
Where was I? ..rightt? ***** division

So, fill up the tub with ice. Make sure
Your "patient"s subdued.. No wait
Ooops ... Guardian angels, playing harps, on a cloud feeding you grapes

As Sunshine, hits your face, with
Beautiful UV rays, but...My concern
Is how misleading, it is when reading
Cuz even a beautiful sun can burn

Telling sometimes ****** things in turn
Happen without any reason
Sometimes good people die & do You know why?cuz if not wed be heevens    

Even more so. Than we are so even
My Sad poems can bring you joy
As much as happy ones, do when a gay teen grows up, & no longer a boy

And faces the pressures of coming out, he can choose this, what is charmin' ya
Or continue to feel safer In ur fantasy
Poem of a closet ..... But Narnia

Doesn't exist. So I leave him this,
Along With the lost, emotional kids
To let em know every scar life gives
Is a trophy, earned, and the life we live

Is Not always rainbows, hugs, kiss
But that's why it's beautiful when it is
& every word stands in this
For every cut on angry teens wrist

To symbolize, he's not not alone.
Or That shes all she needs to be
And I'm sorry to the rest, but this ....
Is rainbows and butterflies to me ...
When I was 12

I cut for the frist time I used this little
sharp thing that came in this manicure set
I don't know why I did it but I can remember
my hand hanging over the bathroom sink little drips of blood falling from me I staired in to space I can still feel that dead feeling
Latter that year I cut in front of my friend I did not think she was looking, she **** my hand and " oh my god, dude did you just make that happen?" I should be I shamed I would be now, but then I think I may have been proud, it got worst I cut everyday
mostly my hands. One day my older brother
asked what happen to my hands I said his cat had scratch me
a really bad lie cuz rocko would never hurt a fly,
and he new cuz he told my mom right there and then
Ma, I think she's cuting herself, I was so panic that I don't even remember what she said, but I did not stop
mouths later I think it was in Jan of 2001
I was at my sisters house and I must have had a scrach or scar showing
I reamber what she said, my hand are shaking tyeping it,
"Why are you cutting you're self little *******!, you know that bring the devil he likes that!, little did I know those would be that last words she ever said to me cuz she died in feb that same year
and know it's crazy but part of me will allways blame me and my cutting,
and i still think of her when I cut, I don't have to tell you that did not stop me,

whene I was 13

I don't think I cut much wich is do odd cuz it was the worst time in my life, insted I dressed like a ****, got drunk, talk back to my famliy and messed aroung with grown up guys,  and started writeing poetry
but I never cut.

Whene I was 14

god that was I really bad bad time I'm pretty shore I was crazy
I was convosed about my sexuality and gender,
i shaved my head started dressing as crazy as possibal maybe get ppl to look at me, maybe to scare them away I don't know.
but I cut, I cut I LOT! I can remember locking myself in the basement with my KORN and SLIPKNOT CDs turned up so load no one can hear my cry, I craved an anarcy symble in my lag, and fell asleep on the liveing room couch, my mom saw it and freaked out, she asked me if I was crazy?, gay?, if it hurt?, all I did was turn over and go back to sleep.

When I was 15

everyone just knew I was crazy, I cut be with the head to toe black
dog colers and books on the cruch of Satan no one really nodest, but I knew, it was takeing over my life, I had so meny cut on my arms that
ther was not a part of my skin that was not scabed red or swollen
but I did not stop.

When I was 16

I lot of things about me chanched at 16
but it was hard to say what they where
i remember one day I staired in the mirror so long
I could not stand mr face and more I was enraged
I was allwas sad, but now it was anger I did not want to see
any part of me or my life any more a hated it all so much
I tryed to blind me self, with narr hair remover, I put in to my eyes
it was the worst pain I ever felth, and when everything started to look gray I was scard and for the frist time sents my sisters death
I prayed to god not elfs or the vampire ruler
but god, and it stop the bruning the grayness stoped
and from that the I never said I did not believe in god, you can call me crazy, but I think I should'ev been blind.
but I never stoped cutting,
just mouths layer in the summer I can remember
being dressed like a latex dominatress, I craved the word nothing in my hand that word ment a lot to me it was my seventh name
I never thoght anyone nodest but when I came home one day
2 of my 3 brothers and my mom where waiting like an intervention
they asked me why?, what does it mean?, my father asked if I " really worship the devil?" I just said I do it cuz I'm crazy and never said anouther word,  but I did not stop cutting.

When I was 17

my life was sleep cutting and poetry and nothing more,
I lived in razor blades and notbooks, I can remember one day I had 2 cuts on my arm my uper arm, but I must have forgot cuz I did not
where a swater to the dinner table, my brother the same brother
that nodest when I was 12 got up in a rage and went in to the ketchen with my mom and was yelling at her " did you see the cuts?, did you see thies ******* cuts, he did not think I heard no one did but that mead my cry so hard, I'm and will allways protective of my mom, I hated that she was getting yelled at for something I did, but than she starting blameing everyone but me, I craved a heart in to my hand and she went if in my neice say "did you see her do this?"
now my cuting was everyone pain
but I did not stop

when I was 18

I did not cut as much but whene I did it was bad
I used broken glass it was my favoret, and I cut placeing
that never showed, when I  was dressed,
and I looked normle just like anyone els
nothing dark of freaky about me but if you saw me
naked I was a masacare
and I did not stop.

When I was 19

I had a hole deffrent feeling like nothing I did
was good enough, I'm not like everyone els my
age, I allwas had this thing where when ever u was outside
and someone laughed I thought it was about me
if they looked at me it was cuz I'm ugly
or just a freak, at this time it was worst
cuz I realize not much has chanched in my life.
I got my shoulder once I was one my computer
and my dad asked what happend I said I got cut when I was
moving things in my room all he said oh I thought
you where doing something weird, talk about being the last to know.

When I was 20

I only cut twice that year, And my mom seemed to think about it more that me but in a defforent way "what are you gunna do with those scars?"
shed allways say, still does no mans gonna wanna marry someone with
unexplainable scars on her body, I allways found that shallow
and cold but I did not completly stop cuting.

When I was 21

I had an inter deffrent soul or at lest a new mask
in lost wight, trund blond, for the longest time replaced
poetry with make up, try to perfect most ppl thought I was
even me, I was bublelie that girl who laughed really loud
with butterflys in my bedroom and boys on my cell phone
mirrors and make up, it kinda the new obession cuz I can feel it taken over, and no one knows it  they will never guess it
but I did not stop cuting

now i'm 22 years olds

sometimes I feel so fake I wanna scream,
I don't reconize me anymore, but I never like me anyway
I can't understand how I can want those feeling back?
I mead so long, how can I just stop?
Cuting is part of me, as much as I want it gone
then why did cry so much, more then the blood
why do I feel so worthless saying
I did not stop cutting...
Every word is true, I never told anyone any of this
I never will,

— The End —