I wonder
when soon really is
I wonder
if I could still see tomorrow
I wonder
if I could measure *'forever'

I wonder and wonder and wonder

I wonder
how this all began
I wonder
just how would it end
I wonder
who you were before

I still wonder and wonder and wonder

I wonder
if it was a blessing
I wonder
perhaps it's a curse
I wonder
to where I would go

*When I think of you, I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder if you really think of me. You spend so much time in your own head I wonder if there is any room up there for some one like me, with all my insecurities. I’d spend all day inside your brain if you would let me.


Sometimes I wonder what you’re thinking when you laugh right out of nowhere - no relation to the present situation - and it’s usually a joke you have between you and yourself and no one else quite understands but I am trying.


     Sometimes I wonder who we are. Sometimes I wonder just how far you want to take me down  
     this path that we are making. And sometimes I wonder about not a thing at all; and other times I
     find myself trying my hardest to recall.


Sometimes I wonder if we’d be friends if we met when we were kids, both aging much more rapidly than all our friends. And by the time we grew up, crookedly, would you be sick and tired of me? We’d see the time each other started dying.


Sometimes I wonder what you dream when you’re asleep or if you have a fantasy world like I do but that’s my secret. And I wonder if someday you’ll store all your secrets inside me and I’ll hide them from this dark, depressing, dream ingesting world.


     Sometimes I wonder what we are. Right now I wonder if my car will make it to your house when
     it and I am shaking. Sometimes I wonder if someday I’ll be driving to our house; finally a place
     where we can maybe try to get some sleep.


Sometimes I wonder if you worry ‘bout things you say ‘round me. Do you feel stupid, do you feel crazy, do you think that you might scare me? Do I steal your breath away with each kiss like you do to me? Or am I mystifying, romanticizing this time?


Sometimes I wonder what you do when I’m not there or you’re not here, because you’re interesting, and I worry because I care. Sometimes I wonder ‘bout the spaces in-between your fingers where your soul begins and this world ends and I know my lips have been.


     Sometimes I wonder if we are. Sometimes I’m really ******* far away and I can’t say the
     meanings I am thinking. And sometimes you need your space and sometimes I need my space,
     too. We like alone but alone’s better when I’m with you.


     Sometimes I’m scared half to death. Just want to rest my spinning head upon your chest and
     listen softly to the rhythm and I hope you know I’m hopeful that things will be okay someday I
     hope you know that I mean every word I say.

Like all days, I wonder.
I wonder what you're thinking.
If you're thinking of me.
If that's a stupid thing to think.

Like all days, I wonder.
I wonder if I stop you.
Stop you from whatever you're doing.
Because the thought of me gave you butterflies.

Like all days, I wonder.
I wonder if I frustrate you.
If you're frustrated that I haven't kept in touch lately.
Maybe we're both too stubborn to start the conversation.

Like all days, I wonder.
I wonder if I make you smile.
From a memory you don't want to forget.
There are so many of those that you could recall.

Like all days, I wonder.
I wonder if I haunt you.
Just as much as you've been haunting me.
We're both ghosts haunting what we hope is still there.

Like all days, you wonder.
You wonder if I wonder about you, too.
If I'm just as flustered with these thoughts as you are.
Maybe we've been sharing these feelings all along.

Like all days, we wonder.

I can’t help but wonder if you still have tucked away all the letters and the notes and the list of reasons why I loved you.
I wonder where you left the guitar strings that I gave you for your wrist
I thought I saw them in a picture of you,
the one with the girl.
I could be wrong.

I think about the things I wrote to you and wonder if you’ve ever looked at them again
And felt the warm singe of pain when you read the words that we meant
when we were naïve enough to think that we were different.

I wonder if I still cross your mind when you scoop ice cream
Because you know how I hate skimpy scoopers.
Or when you find a hair on your arm that's freakishly longer than the rest,
if you wish I was there to pull it out.

Sometimes I think of your mom
And I wonder if she kept my picture, the one she kept on the mantle right beside yours.
What did she do with my Christmas stocking?
I can’t help but wonder if it’s been passed on to your new girl
And I don’t know if they’ll watch West Side Story together,
If she’ll enjoy it the way I did.

I imagine you never thought twice
When you came across a hair still on your pillow, or the faintest of my scent
Or my bobby pins on your bedroom floor.

I remember finding the bobby pins and hair binders of other lovers
when I came back to you for the last time.
They were scattered across your carpet like cruel reminders of all the other heads
that lied in the bed that was always mine.
I wonder if she ever finds mine and feels the same.
Probably not.

I imagine you’ll reread that book someday,
The one I got you in high school when you went through your philosophical phase.
And I wonder if you’ll notice the inside cover where I wrote “I love you”.
I’d always thought there was something special about a book with an inscription.

I remember sitting there for a long while, trying to think of something heartfelt
to say to you,
But all I could manage was “I love you”.
Maybe that’s because I knew that anything else I felt for you would have an expiration date
And I’d wonder if you’d read it when I was gone, and those words wouldn’t be true anymore.
Or not to you.
But I think of you reading it now and it won’t seem silly because it will
always be true.
For both of us, I think.

I think about the time when I first moved to your big city
And I got lost in your neighborhood and I saw you from my car.
You were walking right towards me.
I drove away as fast as I could and I couldn’t breathe or talk or smile.
Did you see me too?
I looked in my rearview mirror, and you never looked back as I drove.
I wanted so badly for you to move away.

I can’t help but wonder if you wonder
About your drawings and your notes and the music you showed me and if I still listen to it.
I do.
If I still wear my black pants that made you go crazy
or if I refuse to listen to The Joker, despite my favorite song lyric of all time,
because it reminds me of the time on your uncle's dock
When we decided we needed a song but we were both too drunk to think of anything sentimental.

I wonder if you imagine a bittersweet feeling coming over me
when I hear the Bee Gees and think of you singing in your Elmo voice,
Or if i ever find myself recalling one of your "facts of the day" and wondering where I learned it.

******, I hope you wonder.

Susi sees angels here and there
magical creatures are everywhere
I canny see them, I try and look twice
I kind of regret it, it must be nice

but I think
Why should I personify
my sense of wonder,
sense of wonder
I laugh beneath the starlit sky
with my sense of wonder
sense of wonder

Ewan sees reason in everything
knows you can measure pieces of string
and he is my brother I love and respect
and proof of the other we've never found yet

but I think
Why should I categorize
my sense of wonder
sense of wonder
I laugh beneath the starlit skies
with my sense of wonder
sense of wonder

And I salute you, one and all
who've seen the light, who've heard the call
I'll not dispute what you have seen
I'm just not certain what you mean

Susi's a human, as sweet as can be
and magic or not she's amazing to me
and whether we're born here blessed or alone
I hope that her angels will see her home

but still think
Why should I personify my sense of wonder
sense of wonder
I laugh beneath the starlit sky
with my sense of wonder
sense of wonder
sense of wonder

If you were the sky
Then I'd be the sea
And when you shined bright
It would reflect in me.
When you're at rest
Then I am steady.
If you wanna get rough
I'm always ready.
Past closing at the bars
If you show me the stars
I'll open right up
And cast them out far.
And on the darkest night
If you won't shine a light.
Then I'm silent alongside you
Until you feel right.
We'll meet at the horizon
Where lovers will stare
And wonder with passion
Why they can't meet there.
And you'll share me a kiss
As bright as two suns.
When they meet in the middle
I'll know the days done.
And I can tell that's your way of saying to me.
Goodnight my love.
If you were the sky and I were the sea.

i wonder if you sometimes think of me - not the way i think of you,
i know that you don't see me the way that i see you
(like you're my sun and like you hung the stars,
like you're the most beautiful thing i have ever seen)
but i sometimes wonder if i sometimes cross your mind,
i wonder if my face pops up behind your eyes,
and if you wonder if that is because I've thought of you
(if that saying was true, you would only be seeing me);
i wonder if what you see me as, and if you know that
every time i look at you, my heart wants to run away from me,
i wonder if you can see it in my blush, or if my friends have told you.
i wonder if you've ever thought what it would be like
to be in love with me. it's all i do every day, after all,
(or rather every night) to think about what we could be,
when i know, deep within me, that we never could.
i wonder if you sometimes think of me, or if
i am as far from your mind as that one boy was from mine,
the one who told me that he loved me, the one i told
that you cannot love someone from afar, not truly.
i have tried to apologise to him, but he has moved away,
and now i am him and you are me, except you are
so much more perfect than anything that i could ever be.
i know you'll never think of me the way i think of you,
i know that you could never love me the way that i do you,
i know that you could never look at me like i am
the most beautiful thing this planet has ever seen,
and i know that you are an unrequited dream.
but i wonder if you sometimes think of me - not the way i think of you,
but just at all. for all the hope i don't allow myself, i still hope you do.


cs

I wonder why
I was ever gifted with
This life, and with a sigh,
I'd say whatever gift you give me
My mind will be shifted
Towards the dark side.

I wonder why
I ever made friends,
I am so shy
My friendship soon ends
Even with myself.

I wonder why
I want to escape
From this dark land
I want to scrape
All the scars I have
And start a new life
In a new place.

I wonder why
People say things
Which makes me want to cry.

I wonder why
I try to stay strong
When I know if I cry
I can make others think they are wrong,
Then they will pity me
And they will apologise
But I wonder why
I don't want a fake apology.

I wonder why
I like to be polite
To people
Even when I know about the harm they gave me
I wonder why
I like to help
Even when I know they don't deserve it.

I wonder why
I like to be different
I don't want to be the one
Who only thinks about oneself.

I wonder why
I want to show the world
What love could do,
Even if you're arch enemies
You can't love each other, says who?

I wonder why
I think so deep
Even when my friends tell me to stop
I walk down in my mind
In this road so steep
In which I never want myself to stop.

I wonder why**
I feel like exploring my own mind
There are so many places I've found in here
There are so many places to explore
There are so many discoveries I have shared
There are so many discoveries more
To share with all the one's who care
To read all my thoughts.

I wonder what the world holds in store for me
The sky is the limit but who knows
Seems like the world has it in for me
Growing up, the world has produced a lot of enemies
I've been pushed to the limit
I wonder why

Its because I'm the nice guy
Who always tries to please
I wonder if someone would do the same for me
Going the distance to lend a helping hand
Giving good advice when no one else can
I wonder is there anyone true

Probably not
Because the way things are going
It's gonna be a dog eat dog world
Survival of the fittest
I wonder, will I make it?
Still, I'm undergoing training
I just wonder

Will the earth withstand bombardment
Shrapnel and fire
Murderous intentions
With some of the sickest desires
Is the end around the corner
I wonder

By using faith and prayer
Will it save us, I hope cause
We all took a dive into sin
I wonder, can we all be cleansed
I say that because some people are pure evil
Hatred has consumed them
I wonder

Where did peace go
I guess it fell up under war
It was stomped out by the people
Who is looking for a score
I wonder did it ever have a chance
All I can do is wonder

-V.v.V. Ds

Sometimes I wonder about the girl in the back of the class with the Hogwarts shirt who knows everything.
Sometimes I wonder about the shy, new boy who is slightly bigger than the rest of our Psych class.
Sometimes I wonder about the varsity soccer player with a little sister who is a newcomer.  
Sometimes I wonder about how my math teacher and assistant director are dating.
Sometimes I wonder why the boy in my English class feels the need to argue everything.
Sometimes I wonder how the girls in my class do their makeup so precisely.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without my siblings.
Sometimes I wonder what I would do if my best friend died.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I died.
Sometimes I wonder about my future.
Sometimes I wonder how we're all connected without really being connected at all.

and here i am again
at the intersection
of pedestrian language
& old wives tales
swallowing gum
like 7 year memories
opening umbrellas inside
cause i can't seem get away
from all of this rain
i ******* with my left hand
cause i was told
back in highschool that
"it feels like someone else is doing it"
it gets me wondering
about the difference between
losing you and finding out
that some one else found you
or my sleep
or lack thereof
its starting to tear me apart
i keep having this dream
where you are in
an unfamiliar body of water
trying to wash my poetry
off of your hands
or the one where
something happens in my chest
every time you sit
on someone else's bed
i'm tired of feeling like something you've misplaced
but don't have the heart
to look for anymore
tired of you saying my name
like you're trying to bury it
i'm tired of wondering
if you can tell the difference
between the absence
of my voice & silence
the other day
i almost started sobbing
at work when a woman
asked me about
our equipment
i was explaining how
things come apart
and almost mentioned your name
it made me think
of how you used to say
things like "what would you do
if i showed up on your doorstep
one day?" now, i haunt
the windows in my house
i don't leave for weeks at a time
i sit on the porch like the dog
you didn't shoot behind the shed
the one that refuses to die
until you come home again
i told somebody once, that
you didn't even know
what my voicemail sounded like
i wonder if they thought
it was because you
are so important that i never
let it ring that many times
before picking up
or if you dont know
what it sounds like
because you've never called
you can't be the ****** weapon
and the search party
i'm tired of all the seats
to the ferris wheel in my chest
being empty
tired of your voice
being the one i look for
in abandoned places
that one sound i beg
to bounce back
down vacant hallways
i just seem to stand there
in all of that quiet
like someone looking for a mistake
on an eviction notice
so i guess the hardest part
isn't letting go
it's forgetting
you ever had a grip
in the first place
and since you've been gone
i wonder if when
you pushed yourself away from me
you used your left hand
so it felt like someone else did it