I shattered this image I had
this dream of perfection
I replaced the picture
slowly
with tones of brown and green.

The dark was darker
the revelations more burdening
but the joy, oh the joy!
The light was brighter
Colors more vivid.

When I cast off the shackles of conception
and conception,
the wings with which I was blessed
burst forth!
In the dawn of a new light and
I, as I am, took flight.

There is no boat that can carry you there;
No wings that are able to fly you there.
Your feet will stumble before they bring you.

The door is forgotten & easily mistaken.
Alas, it is forsaken;
Multitudes pass.

Maybe,
You and I are just sick people,
laughing at a sick joke,
and we'll only ever have
each other to love
so we hollow out the ground
to lay our bodies side by side
and replace the dirt
so we can feel
the weight of our choices.

Today
I will find my heart
where you left it

Today
I will rinse it clean
and
sew it back into my chest

Today
I will buff the scars
and watch as it inhales
red

Today
I will be fully alive

but
Tonight
I will detach it from my veins
and lay with you again

You made me cry
Not because you upset me or anger me
But because I opened up to you & slowly I am allowing you to tear me open, I am letting you know me, ****** me and it's scaring the crap out of me, like what if you hurt me yes, it feels nice now but I won't want to admit that I am falling for you more and more everyday that is why I push you away I just can't bear to be hurt again I'm not ready but I never liked what ifs so I will take the chance of getting hurt and love you in the meantime, I'll even yell it to the world like a foolish woman