i used to send you memes,
it's no longer a habit of my day.
i realized i haven't sent any in a while,
i miss our old ways.

do you ever just hurt for no reason? Not the type of hurting you get from falling on your knee. I'm talking about when your heart feels like ​it sank through your stomach and is falling out your bottom end. The type of pain you feel when you lose someone you love.. the type of pain you get when you realize that you and him will never work out, or when you never had him in the first place but your heart aches for him. Yeah it does hurt. You crave their touch, and want nothing more than to just talk to them for a few minutes. When you talk to them you feel like the rest of the world doesn't matter because they are just that important to you. You could not talk to them or see them in days, weeks, or even months and they could still be on your mind each and every single day. It's quite an empty feeling and nobody likes to feel it, however everyone seems to feel it at some point.

you were my sun my moon and my stars. But slowly the sun never rose, the stars never shone, and the moon never came.

I wonder if you’d want to know
I named all of my demons after you and
they haunt me in my sleep

when I was 14 I fell asleep in April and dreamed of bones and
I’m not sure I’ve really ever woken up since

when I lost 5 pounds I never saw a difference

when I lost 10 my mother said I was looking good

when I lost 20 she told me to stop and handed me food
and I became anemic

when I lost 25 I stopped drinking anything because
I felt water had calories

when I lost 30 my mother held me on her lap
and held my bones together for me

when I lost 35 I started fainting every morning and
the doctors could no longer easily find my blood pressure

when I lost 40 people started to stare and food made me cry

when I lost 45 it hurt to walk and to lay down
it hurt to eat
it hurt to breathe and
I started throwing up my empty stomach

the mind plays tricks on those that decide
nourishment is not needed

Eat.

Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.

As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.  

You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.

Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.

Although the last sentence  
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.

Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.

You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book  
Was your favorite story
All along.

I am hurt
but so are you
you ask and ask
but I just say no
you don't care
you try and try
never giving up
because you believe
we're meant to be