almond eyes
seeing more
than i see inside
wild as a wolf
and wide as her mind
blue as the sky
before the stars
come alive
while the artist
takes its time
painting a moon
on dark cotton
and i swear
this world is better
when her eyes are open

Her hair was painfully black and strong enough to end wars with
Her eyes reminded men of the sea
Just as intimidating as intriguing
And she would sing her serenades to the moon
And they would break their necks just to stare at her
This goddess trapped on earth

Poor Medusa
All she wanted was to be loved

In bed for hours
Dreaming of death
But I'm not asleep
These are the thoughts that fill my head

And I don't pray
Except to maybe find that day
Where I can finally stand up
Grab that gun or grab that knife
Put to my head or wrist
And scream "**** this life"

I'm not afraid to die alone
That's how we came
That's how we'll go
I'm afraid to live a long time
Surrounded by my demons
Praying to your god
That this'll be my final season

What's a life that's nothing
But torture and pain
Killing you inside every **** day?
I have died so many times
In my own mind
Wishing I'd wake up
Soul free, body dead
Wishing life had a purpose
Aside from that awful cycle
School, debt
Work, then death

Happiness doesn't exist
You live hoping there's more to this
That one day God will take your soul
And you'll look down to have met your goals
But tell me what is happiness
You settle for ****, then claim you're set
Yeah maybe it'll get better
Or maybe you learn to hide it better

So until the day I find my grave
I'll die inside until I'm saved
And you can pray for me to help yourself
But your god doesn't know me
Cause I'm already dead

Rapid fire heartbeats sitting pretty on your floor
desperate to disappear yet longing for you to look over my way
typical.
and i'm twisting into the rug dreaming of a way out of here
overflowing in the empty bathtub hopeless obsessed with the fears I don't yet know
grinding into the concrete my open back with flecks of gravel and a skin full of bruises
oh don't tell me what the news is
I just want to disappear into this
and I destroy my walls and build them up again about three times a week
unclear and dissatisfied
lifted by my own skin set your fire into me
my sister and my brother gone on the open road
I don't care if it hurts I still want you all the time
and I watch others climb into another's skin and I can't seem to find the bottom of my glass
floating on something else
I write what I feel and that's all I can offer
no one loved the ****** poet
they just watched her wasted in the corner of the room
sitting pretty spitting blood
sitting pretty spitting blood
sitting pretty spitting blood
let it all go now
I'm not what you wanted and I never will be
I'm not going to haunt you or leave you wanting don't you see
I will be gone when I leave
and I will dismantle every bone in my ******* body if I can't have you
because lord knows I can't handle another disappointment
spiraling clean into the drink
just like I watched her from my satellite
just like I watched her prove that she was it all along
just like I watched her watch herself move
well I tried for years to get her attention or to pin her down but she never settled
so I settled myself down deeper into the cracks of my kitchen floor
scared shitless running down her street
don't give me the pill just give me the beat
and I'll run it out
I'll move it out
but I don't think I can go without you
want to dismantle your body in my mouth
run my fingers through your lungs and bring you to life
I think I could do it
I think I could
and my friends don't know where I went
leaving early staying out late dripping black gold in solitude they say I'm cold in my attitude
but I don't even remember my old name
just the constant call of
TAKEMEHOMETAKEMEHOMETAKEMEHOME
from every passing stranger on the street
I'd be lying if I said I didn't love them all
every one with pink in their lungs and ice in their glasses
severed twins of the lover left unknown
I'll still be there in the morning drunk on your **** carpet screaming that I need you to feel
until I glance at the door
and she comes again
she comes in waves of soft pink and promises left along the sides of the road
and she moves like the girls in the videos to keep from what she knows
and she'll sink her teeth into me
I know she's not real but she bites at my ankles and claws at my lungs
she won't stop till she takes the very breath of life from me and leaves me to rot
but it isn't so much what she is as what she's not
she revels in it all
and brushes my hair before bed
and I think I can see just beyond the morning light
I think I can see just beyond her smile
and I know that this time is my time and I won't be back for a while
raise myself out of my weekday and loose my phone
drown the nightmares out learn to be alone
I think I could
I think I could do it
but for now I'll suffer
moth wing heartbeats sitting pretty on your floor
desperate to disappear yet longing for you to look over my way
typical.

The bitter rain came flying
Dropping like icy marbles,
Freezing my bones, the wind
Stung my knuckles with lightning,
Shards of glass scraping past
my tender face, torn pink
Like blood mixed with snow
And ice, this bitter day

The suburbs are growing all over the wilderness I used to watch pass by from the passener side
The glimmering dream of a generation reborn in the new frontier of romanticized  pop culture
The suburbs weren't made to live in
They were built to sing of and pine over like some lover changed with age
So in this new age
As the generation who swore to destroy them but now idly builds them back up again
We will stand tall in our lyrics
Dreaming of late night rides and sneaking out of our parents home
To distract ourselves to conceal the fact that we are all inherently alone
And I
In my young blood and bravado
Will put another brick into the walls.

it's no use hiding yourself
hiding your stomach or your hands or your thighs
because you are afraid they're too fat
it's no use
he will like you if he likes you
it doesn't matter how long he holds you
he holds everyone that long
don't be afraid
he's got other girls he talks to.
be what you are
or be nothing
let your stomach hang out
and the wrong side of your face show
don't care if he leaves after he hugs you
be what you are
or be nothing