Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
10h · 14
Untitled
Though it’s probably untrue
that you think of me so little
It doesn’t really matter;
What really matters is
you would have me BELIEVE it’s true.
Which probably means,
you don’t WANT to think of me
7d · 51
Analysis
It was here, last December,
I thought you’d come around
Now we are back to treading
That same silent deserted ground
What the ****?!
Are you this warm cold cycle
For everyone you call a friend?
Or save it just for me, a girl
who thought you’d care until the end?

You said deletes were “needy”,
of analysis you’re weary;
Please! return for explanation,
or your behavior is just ******.

If I could put my heart back in my chest
maybe I’d not care about this mess
but it’s locked in your hands
crushed there as away you dash.

Am I not worthy the respect
of last words before you fly?
Was your wish for friendship
a soon regretted lie?
Apr 21 · 35
Unintended
Rubyredheart Apr 21
I didn’t want that…
It was an absent-minded slip,
A genuine mistake,
The wrong touch

& now again
I mourn what cannot be undone
A likely risk
sure to one day come
Does loss ever become
easy, acceptable, humdrum?

perhaps…because
the part that isn’t saddened
sighs, shrugs & resumes
as intended

still the cloud hangs heavy
carrying another mistake
Apr 21 · 36
Rudimentary
Rubyredheart Apr 21
I want to take you

Let basic instincts overcome
I want to let the Beast inside
Run Wild,
run Free
…just RUN
I want to merge, converge
with desire and passion and need
I want to hold your greed
hear you plead
with dilated eyes for more of me
I want to merge our rhythms, merge our rhymes
Merge your deep heart deep with mine
I want to feel you feel deep inside
Let thinking stop & love the ride
Let rudimentary vision win
I want your all!
the Divine & the Sin
Apr 21 · 32
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Rubyredheart Apr 21
I told the wrong times
from the wrong time zone
But that’s the simplest of all the wrongs
Like the wrong second…triple…more-
Guessing myself
How much else was wrong?
The illusion?
Delusion?
Or conclusion?
Action? the reaction?
Wrong? Wrong? Wrong?
& this is why I beg:
please don’t judge me…please!
I judge aplenty
all. by. myself.
Judging these judgments as wrong
Ever & forever
Digging, digging, digging for answers
Yet all i find —
more questions, more questions…
& the ever echoing certainty
One thing won’t die
One truth remains
One desire burns eternal
Is it wrong?
Wrong? Wrong? Wrong?
I suppose it must be
Since you’re Gone, Gone, Gone
Apr 20 · 52
Collapsing
Rubyredheart Apr 20
I will deeply miss
these spaces where your mists reside
yet I cannot abide the pain
that rattles my brain when you hide
and anyway,
that room has said “goodbye”
so must I (with mournful sigh)
still, I WILL so deeply miss
these spaces where your mists reside
Apr 18 · 60
Giver’s Sorrow
Rubyredheart Apr 18
Valuing far more than being valued
Decades & counting
Yet to find a lover who loves
as loved

sorrow
Apr 18 · 47
Love Toll
Rubyredheart Apr 18
I feel you deep within my soul
I feel you engraving a hole
I feel you devouring my whole
I feel you deleting your role
I feel you erased; I lose control
I feel you evaporate my soul
I wonder what REALLY is your goal?
Apr 18 · 99
Sleepy Ramblings
Rubyredheart Apr 18
I really wish I could hate you
Or, better yet, just not care
Because it’s weak how i wear
This need for you everywhere
It can’t be helped, this seeking you
Burns endless in my aching breast
Please let me know you more
Apr 18 · 33
Truth
Rubyredheart Apr 18
Anger, hurt, sorrow
Write my tears
Through oh so many years
Of loving, needing, seeking you
Yes, I’m angry, hurt & sad now
Seeing how
You disappeared
Mournfully I wonder,
Can you truly be a friend
when dealing hurt again & again?
It’s quite simple my desire—
of your words I do not tire
Return…
I ask
Return
Apr 18 · 38
Lashing
Rubyredheart Apr 18
In your absence
I’m a little angry that you left me
to smolder in sadness
Aching. Lonely. Alone.
Again

Such a fool for you!

The most I can do
Is lash out with pitiful words
because your ghost refuses to be buried
I wish sometimes that I, like you
Could just choose to
*******
Apr 17 · 36
Cycle of Fire
Rubyredheart Apr 17
🔥
I burn wild & strong
Blaze bright & long
Do me wrong
I flame on
Fire I bleed
Feed my need
From this seed
Pyrophytic breed
sip honeysuckle sweet
from hardened ****…
Would he defeat
This flaming heat?
On repeat
Lies, deceit
Inferno retreat
Into my heat
Ember glow
Ashes know
Eventually I go
Cold as snow
yet, buried below
I grow, I grow
My own hero
lava flow, flow, so…
burst Fireworks glitz
amidst sparks emits
reborn Phoenix
Flame’s remix
the Cycle of Fire
🐦‍🔥
written April 17, 2025
Rubyredheart Apr 17
Constricted
Restricted
Predicted
I Sigh
Addicted
conflicted
Resisted
a cry
Erase
Need space
Retrace
Still try
but why?!
Convicted
Depicted
Existed
A lie?
another good-bye?

Unspoken.
No token.

once broken
twice shy
Apr 16 · 30
From the heart
Rubyredheart Apr 16
I’m sorry for not hearing
When life was stressful
When your loved ones were hurting
Or when one had hurt you.

I’m sorry for worrying that what you might
or might not choose to do could affect me
more than considering the pain you suffered

I’m sorry for being impatient.
I’m sorry for being needy.

I’m sorry for relating stories--
knives that sliced your heart

I’m sorry for making it all about me.

I’m sorry for not being there
when you looked for a friend;
& for being there too loudly
as I searched for a listening caring ear.

I’m sorry I lack the skill
You apparently acquired through the years
of sealing the past in a photo book
forgotten on a shelf.

I’m sorry for wanting to roll back the tape
then sit wrapped up on the couch with you.

I’m sorry I still haven’t erased your life
from the plethora of "Someday" snapshots.
I’m sorry for wanting a redo
of all those times in the past when
I wasn’t a very good friend.

I know you are different...
but so am I.
I am so very very sorry for all those ways
I hurt you.
I’m trying to grow into a better me.
I just wish we could meet each other
as Who we each are today
I do believe that if we did
we would only be better Friends.
written 1st May 2022
Apr 16 · 37
My Sun, Moon & Stars
Rubyredheart Apr 16
You are the Sun in my skies  
You are the Light of my life  
You help me grow  
You warm my soul  
You are my Sun shining bright  

You are the Moon in my night  
Reflecting again my light  
So I may know  
I have a glow  
You are the Moon in my life  

You are my sky-full of Stars  
Immense sphere of heat. Though now far,  
Still you shine here  
Sparking my cheer  
You are the Stars in my sky  

Sun moon and stars through the years  
Always in my heart most dear  
In time we’ll find  
Shared peace of mind  
When constellations collide  

Someday a nebular prime  
Collecting our space dust of time  
Will burst in bright pillars of recreation,  
Merging our stars with illumination  

Where light-speed erases the distance  
Our twin loves are free  
Together we’ll be  
Orbits shared finally  

Someday  
our space will collide
https://sites.middlebury.edu/landandlens/2016/10/16/2119/
See above link for the images that inspired this write.  Towers of cosmic dust and gas make up part of the Eagle Nebula. These so-called Pillars of Creation are part of an active star-forming region within the nebula.

written 16th May 2022
Apr 15 · 47
Cry
Rubyredheart Apr 15
Cry
I miss your friendship!
I miss knowing...
There are so many reasons tumbling ‘round my head
As possibilities for why you’ve locked me out
They all begin with hurt and end with tears

I cried again tonight
wondering on the wrongs I might have done
I truly am so sorry
For every single one
I just want...
so very much I want
to know of you
to hear of you
as told by you.

Yet clearly this
is far too much to ask
i cry
missing you
written 1st May 2022
Apr 15 · 26
Good Morning, Love,
Rubyredheart Apr 15
I woke up in the early morning hours
Insomnia—such a ***** sometimes
But this time, I didn’t mind
All was quiet
Even my thoughts were calm
Deep in waking dreams of love
I relished the alone hour with you

I wonder: Was your mind with me too?

Good morning, Love,
Today I woke up twice to you,
Making it a morning with a double shot of "good".

I hope my love
blankets you with peace and comfort as you sleep
So that you, too, might wake
to a double shot of "good"
when your morning rises.
written 7th Jan 2023
Apr 15 · 112
Return
Rubyredheart Apr 15
When we first met
I knew of little else--
Ignorant and innocent
You were my greatest love

Now I’ve been around
Sampled years of life
Yet I desire no one else
You ARE my greatest love
written 7th Jan 2022
Apr 15 · 39
taken
Rubyredheart Apr 15
flying free at night
twin sharp teeth of white
blood red need, throbbing bleed
ageless faces of eternal longing
blessed bite that brings belonging
fall towards my embrace
melancholy trace trickling from his tongue
naked mouth and I’m undone

Take my all, welcomed fiend
My hate, my love, my in-between
Ravish lips to lips and enter in
Forever hold, embrace of sin
Until I taste of your inferno
Together our memory eternal
written 29th Oct 2021
Apr 15 · 28
Imperfect Night
Rubyredheart Apr 15
Again…
I’d rather dream of you as I fight sleep
than rest and wake
knowing you are forever gone.

Wakeful in this midnight hour
I remember the dream that was reality.
Yes, those recollections most relived,
my favorite dreams
still wash ashore.
They have scraped deep paths of memory in my mind.
Now, for this microsecond moment
I am yours and you are mine
in my mind
there I am happy
& you are at peace.

The memory passes
I rouse from this waking dream
and resign myself to sleep in this reality
where you do not exist for me as I desire,
& sadly never will

Heartbroken, I cry
exhale a whisper
“goodnight”
written 31st Jan 2022
Apr 15 · 32
I Fantasize...
Rubyredheart Apr 15
You design a portal transcending space & time…
We’re there together now & then…
& in this Now, I enter…
Your blue, melancholy deep-set eyes await.
Sighs escape as we embrace.

Long I’m held in your long arms
As long my heart has held to hope.
Blood rushes;
Hearts beat faster, stronger.
In our shared presence bodies flush;
Faces blush.
Words catch in our speechless mouths
so we speak through touch
sentiments so long unsaid.
We find a perfect room, a bed.
You sit cross-legged facing me (like so long ago)
Secrets pour through channels that connect our souls
Forevermore.
As hearts collide in breathless bursting,
fireworks of feelings,
curvatures collide
joined by passion
rhythmic motion
our bodies, hearts, and souls are one
in that moment.

Spent
We part with lingering look and touch
Knowing we will meet again
when next the portal opens
written 28th Nov 2021
Rubyredheart Apr 15
Your imperfections fall in all the perfect ways.
My fantasies are memories and memories are fantasies with you.
You set my blood on fire but more—
You’ve been my friend.
My most broken screams have reached your ears.
Because of me, that sharpened boomerang of pain
has gouged your heart at times, and yet…
I know you’ll always care--that’s who you are.
I love being in love with you because
however hopeless the idea of "us" may be,
I still feel more filled with hope when dreaming of you
than when I try to crush this love.
Written 16th Jan 2022; revised
Apr 11 · 41
Lost
Rubyredheart Apr 11
Yes, lost
in the nethermore
of a love-missed future…
which path ended here?
it wasn’t the one with you
the imagined wrong choice, though,
might not have been a choice after all
regardless, the loss is the future
for me…sadly
Apr 11 · 42
Painful Never
Rubyredheart Apr 11
I need you to **** me
& love me
And kiss me,
& hold me
I need you to want me
Always
I need you
Your Everything
For Always
Touch me
Need me
Trust & love me
I need you in me
Surround me
With me
Not just a moment
I need a future with you
Living life with me
I need you still
(and always)

If I could stop, I would
Because it hurts so much to need
something I can never have
Apr 11 · 171
Epitaph for a Poem
Rubyredheart Apr 11
You were the rhyme
i thought i could write back to life
Until i learned
the Reader had long since died

“Rest in Peace, Poem Beloved”
as fresh flowers i lay
on an overgrown grave
Apr 10 · 42
Sand bank Spat
Rubyredheart Apr 10
The teen Eagles trying to share the long sandbank outside my window
Humored me repeatedly with their swole posturing & mid-flight scuffles
It is strange how their engaging antics
Lifted my thoughts to wishful flights
Where I would share the views with…
But perhaps I share too eagerly, too frequently
so resist the urge…
No matter…
These enormous formidable raptors
Rejected my association with their convocation
The plethora of snapshots captured
Shows nothing of the moments I would share

*and, yes, in all 5 senses (if with a kiss)
Rubyredheart Apr 8
Let’s sit across the room
Instead of side-by-side
“I’m too tired to talk,” I say
but really want to hide
When, how and why
did partners turn friends
the lover lose allure
even friendship end?
The needy insistent touch
now magnetic repulsion
Hug & kiss a daily duty
just dreaded compulsion
Honest attempts to renew a flame
Futile when fuel is degraded
No longer matters who’s to blame
Only that one is frustrated


3.26.25
Apr 8 · 34
closed
Rubyredheart Apr 8
This one is different
Deeper, harder, more intensely lost
Ended, final, hopeless
What do I know?
Nothing
Just floating in space
I could end here
Gazing out into this fantastical void
Still I look to see the mirage of you
Hope is a wonderfully nice feeling
Too often false
It was nice to fake it while it lasted
But all good things, like silly hopes,
Most end
So goodbye, my beloved dream
I’ll miss pretending You were real


3.1.25
Apr 6 · 55
Hungry Eyes
Rubyredheart Apr 6
The hunger written in your eyes
Traced in softest lines along your lips
Visions of the need you felt…
Twined around my heart
& stayed, remained
Rooted deeply in my past & now & evermore
Yes, they remain — these photos etched into my memories
favorite visions of desire
igniting my desire
Evermore
None other can compare
Lips speaking more than words
Beyond the promise of “I love you”
Did those lips lie?
Possibly forget?
Embrace a kiss more passionate?
I only know, those lips—
Echoes of a love so deeply missed!
Now every time I see such hunger in expression
I remember and desire you alone
& your hungry eyes
Apr 4 · 67
Don’t We All
Rubyredheart Apr 4
Yes
Don’t we all just want to feel
****
Smart
Attractive
Desirable
& mostly LOVED…
Don’t we all want to know
We’re valued
Admired
Appreciated &
Mostly LOVED

don’t we all just need to know
We matter?

I matter…I am ****…I am important…I am LOVED!
You matter! You are ****.  You are important! You are LOVED!
So don’t
Fade away
We MATTER
Always…
We all need to know
We matter to someone…
You are everything to me
Apr 3 · 71
into unknown
Rubyredheart Apr 3
Is it external factors
Halting more chapters?
Or an innate absence of appeal?
Collapsing love once real…
Empty sorrow
Of endless empty tomorrows
Piercing heart is all I feel


March 1, 2025
Apr 3 · 46
The Help
Rubyredheart Apr 3
Pausing mid-conversation
with a bi-weekly buddy
he interrupts my **** to say
“The cat spilled her water”

so I fill & clean and wonder:
why the **** tell me?
(it took more time than sopping up the spill)

Maid! MAID! Snap snap…
Over here Miss…& bring a rag

Eye roll into bed…
so ends a day of service
Apr 3 · 71
Summary
Rubyredheart Apr 3
I read the saddest good-bye’s
From cold grey eyes
Denying a glance my way
Now
Mournful another would claim
Gifts writ in your name
for desires you could not say
Ever
The longing holds true
I’m wishing for you…
But respect holds me at bay
Rubyredheart Apr 3
Aimless; trying to focus;
find I’m wandering ether-bound
Breezy lyrics ever ringing—
music in my ears, it echoes all around
Nothing yet can free reminders
aching love & numbing loss.
See their fingers clawing, reaching, helpless
for the witch they burned & tossed
Hurt & anger seething—fire-fuel
Sick that I’m the one let go
Though wings they took; Burned me…gone!
****, I’ll be their ghost flambeaux!
What’s that? Now my tonic you desire?
Now the witches brew you crave?
All that I have left to offer
are these deathly flames you gave…
Apr 3 · 59
Worth
Rubyredheart Apr 3
So much I offer:
I would be your home…
a listening interested empathetic ear;
love, care, accepting all of you and more!
admiration, worship, undying affection,
appreciation, patience, love,
words, images, actions of deep passionate desire,
seeking to fulfill your every fantasy,
pleasure in your pleasure,
giving, understanding, long-lasting friendship
so much I have to offer
I KNOW my worth…
If you don’t, that’s on you…
others will…
just know, I’ll always care,
& you’ll always hold
My #1 position
So, if you ever really SEE me…
I have an epi pen ready…
Always,
Apr 3 · 314
Remains
Rubyredheart Apr 3
It can’t be helped & it can’t be stopped
on my mind still naturally
Remains…
…if desired…
Always,
I am
Rubyredheart Apr 2
I’ve not driven Her streets alone with thoughts of you breaking through
since those jet-lagged days here from Taiwan…
Now, driving this eve I KNOW
with Her rivers and bridges, rainy days and viewing ridges
That this City holds hidden memories long—
See? She remembers still those 2 figures who sat & talked there on the water front…
Nor did She forget the love-entrenched girl scratching out (between clients) poetic lines
composed as her magical hands worked to relax
spasmed muscles…
Ironic that nothing yet worked to soothe
a spasming heart, denied…

This Sunday, more of Her streets I will see—
Like that one I was driving to work
when heart-break broke me until I thought
I’d just drive & drive on forever… though never Arrive…
I’ve arrived…Full circle but now
Unbreakable
As again a knife breaks through the rain
driving pain
Deep
(I don’t think you saw or cared to see
the wish I wrote that we go deep…
“I want you so deep…deep inside” as Vintage Culture sang)
I guess this is all to say,
as I drive through this tired city today,
Like these murky rivers etched on the map
There flows through my mind & my veins
a story—unfinished…
never to be
Apr 2 · 238
Flip My Switch
Rubyredheart Apr 2
I’ll not touch you
If You don’t want me to
From your words & acts I’ll take my cue
But if you flip my switch & with your okay
I’ll make your mind go numb as you sway
To my hypnotic grind when I have my way
Caressing, confessing
secret hungers that crawl beneath my skin
The need to feel you plunge within
I’m years’ deep now, excitable
Sensations beyond all you imagine
Urging me to dance that dance with your permission
But ONLY if you flip my switch
If not, have no fear
Just friends, then, here
Apr 1 · 53
Turn On
Rubyredheart Apr 1
That fiery need in your eyes
Casting white-hot fingers from coal-black pupils
That reach to burn my clamoring hands
Licking the taste of desire that seeps,
No…Bursts from my tingling nerves
As I run my fingers through your hair
Across your cheek, cupping jawline, tracing lips
Drawing your strong neck closer for a lingering kiss
The excitement floods my body
Straddling your lap, igniting a dance of hungry passion…
the truest fuel remains that burning in your eyes
Your lips distraught with deep desire
to hold this raging fire
Forever
Watch and feel and blaze intense
In rhythm to my rocking grinding hips
and with your starving ember eyes
Turn me on
Fire
Mar 31 · 74
on meeting,
Rubyredheart Mar 31
I would be very shy at first
If you, too, were timid,
we might side-step desire
while conversation pervades
evades
the cravings of our longing bodies
for an hour or two…
all it would take for you
to teasingly linger fingers on my thigh,
I’d softly sigh,
draw nigh, face nestled close against your neck
a dance beginning as I linger on your lap
Legs around, as sound erupts
Expressions of a need far beyond words
Passion, need & longings
rule the ravings of our bodies… cruel
craving
with an aching need
desire for the pressing, rocking, swaying as we rhythmically
merge our mutual want into choreographed memories
persisting, resisting
moving on into
Times and places far away
Where you sway
The maybes & somedays to bow into
The never-again-to-be (lost, forgotten memory)
Still
I’d rather be grasping the bedding
& crying out in ****** passion
as you find ****** satisfaction
in me
Than let hope waste away
Long forgotten memory
Dismissed
I wanted to love you
(Maybe I still do)
So I’m sorry you said never
and I’m sorry I couldn’t wait forever
I’m sorry that this could likely sever
chances or hope of together. still,
whatever may be, I’ll ever
be grasping again the bedcover
moaning in pleasure as dreams of you
wash over
My Every reality
for you…
Mar 27 · 64
A Tale of Time
Rubyredheart Mar 27
Don’t you know you ****** with my heart
Don’t you know you ripped it apart
Don’t you know I’ll make a new start
I can turn this chaos to art

Over fifteen years of friendship you tossed
Still I didn’t count you as lost
Patiently melting thick frost
‘Til back into my life you crossed

Was it all just a game to you?
Will I forever mean shame to you?
Now denied all hope to reclaim with you
The love we once both proclaimed e’er true

Yet, these tattoos proudly are worn,
Though, at times this love is a thorn,
Your friendship I never would scorn
It’s your “not in the future” I mourn

I wonder, is trust a thing of the past?
Could deep friendship not truly last?
Now it seems much has surpassed
the care you once held fast.
Mar 27 · 113
Apocalypse
Rubyredheart Mar 27
The rivers run dry, the rivers run dry, the rivers run dry tonight.
There’s a drought in the soul, a drought in the heart, a drought in the will to fight.
The water is turned to poison. The poison will crush your soul.
The water is turned to poison that burns up your whole
The castle collapsed to the dungeon; the dungeon is where we live
Dark and hungry and soulless with nothing left to give
Mar 26 · 293
my god
Rubyredheart Mar 26
I do love the feel
Of your big hard strong **** in me.
But I’m telling you
I don’t need you or your hard ****
for ****** satisfaction

Oh baby,
I know you’ve moved on
are gone
Except as …
friend? stalker? past acquaintance?
Anything but lover
Anything but confidante or soulmate…

I am stronger than I look,
Stronger than you know
Able, independent, self-loved

I am my own
“Oh god! oh god! oh my god!”

I worshipped you, loved you eternal…
now
I am my own god
I’ll miss you…but not too much
beloved ****
Mar 26 · 104
RISE UP
Rubyredheart Mar 26
Burn me, drown me, take me down
A Flaming Phoenix, I’ve been around
Uproot, transplant, a new me is found
Cut me, crush me, I rise from the ground

Mistake not this fire for a coal black soul
These colorful flames are brilliant & whole
My talons and wings don’t think to control
If passion is sin, I go to Sheol

Shackle me back with those chains I wore?
I won’t scream, bite or claw, but spread wings & soar
I tried to love his cold ash before
That grit in my mouth I’ll suffer no more

Moved twenty times by sweet 16
Learned young to breathe through the in-between
Grey ashes taught how to blaze & gleam
From that dungeon I ascend as Queen

— The End —