Whatever it is that makes "Us"

I'm Hoping that when we're together you'll Remember

And when we're not, you won't forget.

Anger* comes over me
in waves of hurt
I tell myself be brave
as I brace myself
waiting for the next hit
when all I wanna
Do is lash out with it!
Cause if I were to see you
I can't deny
I don't know whether
I'd punch you in the face,
hug you or cry
Probably all of the above.
Honestly, none.
I'd bite my lip
until the silence
was justified
For I'd have nothing
from which to speak,
embrace cowardice
as I constantly back away
from confrontation,
rage simmering
in the alienation.
And I notice more so now
how I have less tolerance,
less love to give,
for giving it to you
it seems I lost it,
  seems I have
some forgiving to do
but now I've lost it!
And I scream inside
for all that I was denied.
All I denied myself.
We didn't argue
Cause you saw no
point in anger,
you didn't like to,
but I ******* needed to ,
venting is what
I need to do,
and now I feel guilty
and **** that I'm not really
cool, calm and collected,
apologetic for being me
and I don't think that's fair
We all share In despair
but I swear I take on
more than most
being considerate.
But consider it done
out-come the Claws
as I spread the cause and
cause others I care for upset
with my deMEANour
of regret
It's like I forget
that Bottling things up
Never did me no good,
It's no good for my health
I see my hands shaking
But no deals been struck yet
No terms or conditions
been set,
I'm in limbo
And it's no good
for my health
So I shake as
I struggle to accept
I'm not just mad at you
**I'm Mad at myself.

I wonder how far
you can change your personality
and all those susceptibilities.
Those patterns you follow
as you weave your fate.
But is it your own?
Can you trust in those
sense and sense abilities?
Cause personally
I don't know
if this personality
is something you *own.

I didn't ask if you got over your first love

I asked if you got over your first heartbreak

**They're two different things.

You* shoulda been the one to see me cry.

Maybe that way I wouldn't have to live a *lie.