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May 2021 · 116
I woke up crying
I woke up this morning. But it wasn’t like normal. I was crying.
Tears had been rolling down my cheek and they wouldn’t stop.
I closed my eyes, flashes of my dreams flew past my mind.

I was alive. I felt feelings I hadn’t felt for years.
Happiness,
Security,
Laughter escaped through my lips,
The sun kissed my skin,
Tears filled my eyes.

I was in love. In love with myself and in love with the world.

I woke up crying
all because I had to wake up.
Jul 2017 · 429
A dream
A dream is crap your head makes
when you're fast asleep.
In dreams, they will cut you open
and everything is scary as hell.

Have faith in your dreams and someday,
your heart will be ripped in two.
No matter what pills you're taking...
If you keep on existing
the dream that you wish comes true.

A dream is a thought your head makes,
Just to end it al...
You know you will never have it,
and no one will hear you fall.
Oct 2016 · 1.1k
For once trust me.
Trust my words, please just believe.
I'm here for you, I swear I wont deceive
I love you more then your eyes can see
I'm always on your side Have faith in me,

I trust you, but you don't trust me.
Have a bit of faith in me, I will stay.
Apr 2016 · 865
Mask
Once I was sad and lonely,
having nobody around to comfort me.
So I created a mask that always smiled,
just to hide my true feelings.

Once I had many friends;
with my mask, I was one of them.
Deep inside I still felt empty,
Like I was missing a part.

Nobody could hear my cries for help,
for I designed my mask to hide those lies.
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling,
for I hide my mask to keep on smiling.

Behind the smiles there were tears waiting
and behind all the comforts were the never ending fears.

While my tears where crying,
my feet kept walking.
My body was left behind,
to keep on hoping!

Day by day
I was slowly dying
I couldn’t go on,

I’m still searching
for the thing that’ll stop my crying,
for someone who’ll erase my fears
and for someone to wipe my tears.

But until then, I’ll keep on smiling
hiding behind the broken mask I’m wearing.
Hoping one day I can throw my mask away.
But until then, I’ll be here… Waiting.
Apr 2016 · 416
Exhausted
When someone asks me,
"What is wrong?"
I simply reply with,
"I'm just tired."
And they agree;
they say to take a nap...

But you see,
this exhaustion,
it is not something simply
resolved by sleeping.
I cannot simply shut my eyes
and wake up okay.

I need a break from;
My brain,
My heart,
My Life.
I need to go away
for just a little while.

Or maybe even forever...
Mar 2016 · 330
Laugh
They told me
that to make her love me
I had to make her laugh.

But when she laughs
the one who falls in love is me
Mar 2016 · 496
Photograph
I love,
how you allow me to take pictures of you.

But do you know,
How hard it's to get something that beautiful
in such a normal frame
Mar 2016 · 786
Monsters
A mind filled with clear thoughts
Until the thick black fog came

And with the fog there came a depression,
And with the depression came the monsters

Monsters like:
Loneliness, insecurity, fear, tiredness, worthless
Pain, powerless, desire and many more.

While the fog cleared and the thoughts where getting clearer
I could count the many scars hidden in my mind
Big and small.

Thinking everything was finally fine.
No more pain, no more fogged up thoughts.

But while the fog had cleared away,
the monsters didn’t go.
Mostly they where gone, but some where still hiding
Waiting for my guard to drop down

To attack me in the middle of the night
or on the corner of the street

Just waiting for a moment of weakness
Waiting to attack and make my life hell again.
Feb 2016 · 299
Life
It was the last day of school,
everyone promised to stay in touch.

Then, life happened and friends
they became names in a contact list.
Feb 2016 · 310
Tired
I'm so tired of the rain
falling softly on the ground.
Just enough to get my feet wet
but not enough to let me drown.

I've been laying in my bed.
Wishing I had never woken.
Begging god to rid my head
of every word you've ever spoken
Feb 2016 · 1.8k
Loneliness is dangerous
It's addicting.
Once you see how peaceful it is,
you don't want to deal with people anymore!
Feb 2016 · 285
That Time,
That time,
You couldn’t smile,
Nor could feel any joy

That time,
You felt like you were always alone,
even when you would be surrounded

That time,
You were too scared to sleep,
for the nightmares that were waiting for you

That time,
You could feel the monster
and hear them whisper in you ear

That time,
You wanted to die,
but you held on/

That time,
It never ended
I just got better in hiding it
Feb 2016 · 627
The Beast
You don't stop being depressed
You learn living with it

It's a monster sleeping
in te corners of your mind

waiting to wake up
to take over

waiting to conquer the leash
waiting for a moment of weakness

to start eating you up
just to make you feel down again

Keep a hold on that leash
and please  **Don't let go
Feb 2016 · 613
When I see you
When I see you,
and you say “Hi” in the sweetest voice in the world
When I see you,
and I see your beautiful blue eyes sparkling with a hidden smile
When I see you,
my heart skips a beat and I don’t know directly what to say
When I see you,
Love and Happiness fulfills my thoughts and all of my troubles go away.
When I See You,
I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you

When I See You,
all I really want to tell you
is that I think I love you!
Feb 2016 · 553
Quiet
Depression is quiet
anyone can fall victim to it
and much like a mask,
people hide it with a smile
and an "I'm Fine."

Nobody can detect it but yourself
because disguising it is easy.
The cheerier you are
the less they'll suspect
but you can't hide it forever

Everybody reaches a breaking point.
But that's okay!
Don't be ashamed.
There are people that will understand.

You are precious
You are Loved
You are NOT alone
Feb 2016 · 388
24-hours
24-hours
Sometimes a blink of an eye
Sometimes a long road filled with pain

24-hours
An eternity, another day you have to get through
Something you don’t want to
But you do

24-hours
You can’t do it
But you have to
Because what else can you do

24-hours
Something worth fighting for
There is someone that loves you
Don’t forget that while going through those 24-hours

— The End —