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Mar 2018 · 988
she
b Mar 2018
she
and she made me believe she loved me
when she only loved the thought of me
not my entire being, partly my presence
for if she did,
I would be writing diary entries
of bliss and ecstasy
and not short poems
of misery
Nov 2016 · 336
anxiety kills
b Nov 2016
anxiety kills.
it's more dangerous and lethal  
than bullets, knives
for these can only
hurt you, damage you externally
but anxiety
penetrates, spreads
from the inside.
Oct 2016 · 584
nothing more to be seen
b Oct 2016
The sky cries.  
Its tears fell on my head.
The emptiness i felt.
No words could be said
for I was mute and my heart
was torn into pieces.  

The greyness of the clouds
reflected my soul
which was dark
and was everything but whole.
Colourless 'twas
but the greyness of grey
and blackness of black
were visible.  

Mine heart was crushed
and torn to several pieces.  
They scattered into the abyss.
Mine heart was wrinkled and the creases
were visible.  

The leaves I came across
were fragile, easily torn
like my being so used,
so worn out,
from crying and longing
for mirth and liberty.

Everything I had
slipped through my fingers.  
Easily, they left and were gone.
But not everything left me.
My fears and doubts were still there.
Accompanying me as I walk
down this dark tunnel.

No source of light.  
I couldn't see anything but darkness.
So long, the tunnel was.  
Never-ending, the path was.
With every step I took,
my heart screamed,  
my legs throbbed.

I breathe in and out
but poison entered my lungs
for I feel sick and dizzy
with all the breathing.
It didn't help me
and made me feel worse.

A streak of light, I  could see.  
As I approached it,
emanating from the opposite end,
a cool breeze swept through me.
The smell of rain wafted.  

I remembered it all.  
The reason why I was
in deep lament.
For these thoughts shalt not leave me, impossible to banish.  
The reason why I wanted
to vanish.  

The smell of rain,
the smell of humidity,
took me back.  
I was transported into the past
like a wheel, spinning fast
before my very eyes.

The light neared me.
With much anticipation,
I approached it,  
and the last thing I could remember
was the smell of rain.
Jul 2016 · 4.3k
before i sleep
b Jul 2016
sometimes i weep
before i sleep

scary thoughts, they peep
oftentimes, they creep

instead of counting sheep
counting monsters that leap

scars are deep
no choice but keep
May 2016 · 315
they don't matter
b May 2016
do not trust
do not expect
because betrayal is all you get.

it's okay to sob
it's okay to cry
after all, it was worth a try.

you will smile
you will laugh
have fun 'till you've had enough

be cold
be strong
because being yourself is never wrong.
May 2016 · 425
solitude
b May 2016
solitude is my remedy
the outside world is poison

it contaminates my thoughts
it soils my hopes

there is no freedom
there is no happiness

that's why i prefer my little sanctuary
to that enormous place...

where it offers nothing but the feeling of loneliness

i am not a part of it and never will be
May 2016 · 364
the night sky
b May 2016
the night sky
reflected my own soul
which was dark

the luminescent stars
reminded me of my small hopes
which were long gone

even a million stars
couldn't even light up the whole sky
without the moon...
May 2016 · 391
sad thoughts
b May 2016
Sad thoughts swimming
like fish in the sea
in my mind they inhabit
they stay and roam with me

They're my company
in solitude and downs
like clowns comforting children
with ugly faces and frowns

I tried to shake them away
for I feel hopeless and forlorn
"It's not that easy", they say.
"We're better left alone."
May 2016 · 297
seasons
b May 2016
I was walking in a dark forest
I was crying softly, looked down below
hugging myself tightly
when it began to snow

Puzzled I was, because it's the middle of June
I stopped crying and looked up at the sky
It was indeed snowing
I started walking and thinking "but how and why?"

As I took fast paced steps, I noticed the leaves, brown and fragile
it suddenly turned autumn
leaves were falling everywhere
how so? I could not fathom

When I finally reached the end of the darkness
it suddenly turned hot and warm
I wasn't just puzzled, I was confused
the sun was smiling, with its grace and charm
May 2016 · 556
au revoir
b May 2016
the world isn't cruel by far
its inhabitants are
for they can pierce a soul
can pierce something whole

my heart's bleeding
blood's pouring
it has been struck by words
words as sharp as a sword

so i bid farewell
from my old, lonely cell
for i'm about to fly
time for me to say goodbye
May 2016 · 310
no matter
b May 2016
it's 3am
and i still feel the same
again and again
with this aching pain

no matter how hard i try forget
sad thoughts is all i get
no matter how hard i cry
no matter how hard i try.
May 2016 · 413
in memory of humanity
b May 2016
What was once a grand home
became a place of sin, and despair,
where people feel gloomy and alone
where is unity? where is care?

A place I used to adore.
A place considered precious
became a battleground of gore
where the selfish and cruel were victorious.

Poor souls fled.
Hearts were heavy with sorrow,
hearts bled.
For they believe there's no tomorrow.

War, so unmusical a word
is others' favourite melody.
The sound of peace they couldn't afford.
That's why the war record is worn out already.

What should've been a mansion
of love, peace and understanding
became a wild forest, a dungeon
where no one can do anything.

The wails of our fellowmen,
the cries of the dead,
shook our once strong walls of cement.
Our beautiful home became their deathbed.
May 2016 · 545
look on the bright side
b May 2016
Life can be cold, dreary and dark
so dark, you can't even see a tiny little spark
it's full of memories, some happy, some sad
but come to think of it, life isn't all that bad

Sometimes, we feel nothing but grief and shame
these feelings we're feeling, who is to blame?
think brightly! think positively!
tell your mind to be happy!

Those times we've had that cause us to frown
my, we should forget those times and smile like a clown!
for those are over, finished and done!
enjoy your precious life because there is only one.
May 2016 · 345
acceptance
b May 2016
Gloomy and dark skies
meet my chocolate brown eyes
the view took me to the past
like a wheel in the air, spinning fast

The past I buried under
returned in my mind, things I used to ponder
I shake my weary head and sighed
wipe away the tears which I couldn't hide

Hugged myself as I stroll
carried my heart that was once whole
accepted the fact that what's done is done
accepted the fact that the enemy has won.

— The End —