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 Apr 2023 princess joel
irinia
I can see this only with my imaginary eyes
I can feel it in the vibrant empty spaces inside
how everything is woven together
so that I belong to her to him to them and to you
I belong to my skin I belong to the bones of my hands
I belong to my nails, of course to my heart
what if we are first imaginary beings with concrete joints?
have we forgotten that we belong to the story of the air
water fire, to the story of the earth?

the closer I get to who I am, to the earth of the soul,
to the real depth of blood, the more I cease
for a moment to twist the faces of wind in my mind
so that the world doesn't get hurt
I belong to a window, to this edge
between outside and inside

I belong to the world, oh
how wonderful that
the world belongs to itself
Am I just a wheel?
Consuming meals?
A speck in blue sea?
Bound by what I see?
Life amongst trees?
Breathing means free?

Am I my beliefs?
The truth I seek?
Flag of a country?
Defined by currency?
A liability?
Part of society?

Am I what you see?
The way you judge me?
The values you pick?
First impressions stick?
Norm defined by you?
Do I dare to be rude?

No...

I am who I choose.
I fill my own shoes.
I win when I lose.
I create my own views.
I see black beyond blue.
I pick me over you.

Who are we?
I am me.
Who are we?
Depends on you.
You locked your heart away from the world
and gave me the only key. I kept it on
thread, close to my heart, to hold for eternity.

When I opened my eyes, the key was gone
and you were falling away. I never
found out what you did with the key
for that heart I led astray.
Thoughts darken as I find myself
becoming the nightmares
that I keep my eyes open to avoid.
~~ And there is no end to this darkness. ~~
 Oct 2015 princess joel
Akira
Crush
 Oct 2015 princess joel
Akira
I've never been the type of girl
To fall so easily for a guy
But here I am falling for you
And I can't even fathom why

You were just a cafeteria crush
My feelings weren't supposed to grow
But with these food and snack encounters
I found that we've reaped and now we sow

Your cool fingers on my neck
Halt me enough to arch my spine
I know our love wouldn't be tragic
But I can't let history rewind

So I'll let you in eventually
When these walls all finally come down
But if you decide to climb them
Please don't be crushed if you hit the ground
it wasn't like she woke up
and was ready to know the bad news

it wasn't like she heard your voice
but now it's gone

it wasn't like you've prepared breakfast
and now she's alone

it wasn't like you said "good night"
and tonight's empty

you taught her how to be strong
now, she doesn't know

it was Monday morning
a letter was handed to her
she did not understand what it said
except that you're with Him
Loneliness can only be washed away by my thoughts, but, counting seconds until I drown, I no longer have the time to save myself.
~~ But maybe today will be better. ~~
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