made it easier to cope
it was warm
the sun was out- so we were until we’d collapse like tired children after a long day of playing
it was the best time for distractions
But in the Fall
ill from the hauntingly beautiful memories of Fall’s past
when we first fell
as the leaves grew gold
our relationship grew strong
as the air turned cold
in our apartments we’d belong
unable to spend a second apart
my eyes locked with yours
from morning ’til dark
Now, look where we are
each of our memories forcedly releases
Oh my darling,
how in the hell did we fall to pieces
I knit those words together
so you can pull them over yourself,
on a cold day
and always remember,
Its me keeping you warm.
try to be productive, but it's
hard to come up with the energy when
the only gift I may possess, my
words cut like a razor's edge and
leave me bleeding
with every negative thought,
(my ears are ringing)
"but wait, there's more!"
now comes the replays,
all the times I wasn't there
when I was really needed
(legs feeling weak)
all the people that have left this world
( I want to curl up in a little ball)
the last time I saw them, and my
mind struggles with that, incessantly
(I no longer want to exist)
until i'm too shattered, too
to drag my *** out of this
I don't know how much longer I can do this
Am I supposed to stop myself from loving you?
Am I supposed to not care?
Am I supposed to just walk away?
Am I supposed to forget you and leave everything behind?
Am I? because I never want to
eyes as blue as the sea
i drown every time
you look at me
slowly i can feel myself
The door to a new world has opened,
you are inside,
one step over ,
my eyes dazzled,
the strange world welcomes me.
with you my side,
i feel each day brand new,
you are Making my heart flutter,
i draw you in my dreams,
i laugh, even i am scared and trembling.
i still don't know lot of things,
show me your world,
show me your heart,
let's start our soul conversation which never ends.
GREEN: older than me, very very sweet, looked at me as if i were your sister. you were my neighbor and you babysat my brother. 4 years older than me. you had green eyes and played guitar. I chose green for you because you went into the military and fought for our country. i still think about you all the time. you were my first real crush. you were a sweet genuine guy who only saw me as a friend.
BLUE: a year older than me, kind of shy. cannabis took over your mind and soul. we never really spoke it was more of an admire from afar type thing. you had these breathtaking blue eyes it was like someone put the ocean in them. you had the bad boy vibe which i fell for.
YELLOW: ah, yellow. one of my favorite. we had classes together all throughout high school except senior year. you are a gorgeous human with your tanned sun kissed skin and your curly golden locks. a foreign beauty. half spanish and half german. i have wanted to be with you ever since i laid eyes on you. now that we are somewhat talking i long to experience your body in it’s full effect. i dream of us living in italy together.
RED: my favorite color. specifically burgundy. you were a dream. you looked exactly like my dream boy i had pictured in my head. with your perfectly sculpted jawline as if you were a greek god, your gorgeous eyes as they twinkled in the sunlight, the way you dress with such a sense of fashion made me swoon. you were a dream that never came true.
BLACK: my most recent color. i am completely infatuated with the idea of you. i first noticed you in the hallway with your black headphones and sweatpants on. i knew immediately that you would be my next victim. ever since we got high together my world has gone upside down. those nights we spent working together as i admired how good you looked in your black apron. those nights we spent in your car at 10pm as you drove me home. you made my world black
all the boys I’ve had crushes on as colors
Why I can’t cook
And keep a house
And I tell them
Spent my childhood
What it meant
To be a bigger
Learned to be