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Erika Mar 2018
the worst thing in the world is being up at 4 am thinking about a dude, who you know isn’t up thinking about you.
Sorry. I’m a wreck
Erika Jul 2018
you love him,

I’m actually  sure you do.

But you have to understand

that if he was a man,

he would not allow himself

To hurt you.
Erika Jan 12
my phone is at one percent

and strangely, I feel no urge

to plug it in.

if my phone is my brain

and my charger my eyes,

when they close and theoretically I die,

but really

I just begin again.
Bed time poetry
Erika Feb 9
I
don’t
know
when
my
petals
died,
but
I
do
know
that
I
survived
Erika Jul 2018
if I had a dollar for every time
I wished upon a star
I’d have enough money
to envision a galaxy in which my dreams actually made it that far.
Erika Apr 24
it took me forever to realize
that the darkness
is fine

just not
all the time.
Erika Dec 2018
a gun is pointed at my chest,
and instinctively,
I squeeze my eyes shut.

he pulls the trigger, and steps back
one bullet tears through my breast and exits from my back.


my tears fall,
expecting to feel pain,
expecting to see blood.

It never came.

For his bullets were just words,
insults and slurs.

Once I realized no damage was done, I thought to myself,

“He needs better ammunition”
Erika Dec 2018
I wish I knew myself

as well as I know you
Erika Sep 2017
Is anyone really
bad at love?
Or are they bad
with trust, commitment,              and
even lust.
Erika Oct 2017
I present myself as easy,

a *****.

So others don't view me as a

*****,

a bore.

But which is worse?

Is it better to give it up
or never give in?

Will I ever be known as something besides my sin?

Do I continue saying yes,
but meaning no,
while these men
undress me with their eyes
and leave with my soul.

I have a bad reputation,

and I know how I got it.

I like having ***,

and you can bet your ***,

I flaunt it.
Erika Apr 2018
Black boy,
I am sorry.

I am sorry the world is cold.

Black boy,
I am sorry.

I am sorry your voice doesn’t matter.

Black boy,
I am sorry.

I am sorry that the justice system is not fair to you.

Black boy,
I am sorry.

I am sorry that all you had to do was be black.

And Black boy,
You can beat it.

You can graduate high school.

You can get that scholarship.

You can get that job.

You can get that degree.

You are amazing.

You are strong.

You are Black.

Unapologetically Black.

You are a force to be reckoned with.

Black boy,
I am sorry,

But not for you,

for them.
I’ve been meaning to write something like this for a while.
boo
Erika Dec 2018
boo
the monster sized hole you left in my heart, is the monster in my closet, that keeps me awake in the dark.
Erika Dec 2018
you stayed long enough to fill my lungs and left as quickly as an exhale
Erika Dec 2017
I’m tired of being used and abused by weak men, who say what they think we want to hear.

Just so they can get us in bed and **** with our heads.

And oh lord if we say anything or call them out on their *******, we’re just another ****** ***** that got too attached to the ****.

**** that ****.
Idk
Erika Feb 9
loving you
is easier
than
loving
myself
Erika Jan 21
we see the same moon
and we wish upon the same stars

and whenever we’re apart
I look to the night sky
and realize,

you’re never
really
that
far.
I’d edit this 1000 times before it’s perfect but I don’t have that much time
Erika Aug 2018
I’ve never used *******  
in my life,

but being loved by you

is what I imagine

the high feels like.
yup.
Erika Sep 2018
what is the ******* point
in trying

when you’re the only one

who is.
Erika Dec 2018
playing with my heart

is like playing with fire

because my soul

gets just as

h o t

when it scorches of desire.
Erika Feb 9
I realized
I don’t have to love myself
I just have to know myself.
Erika Oct 2018
having ***, just to feel

s o m e t h i n g.

getting high, just to feel

s o m e t h i n g.

taking shots, just to feel

s o m e t h i n g.

popping pills, just to feel

s o m e t h i n g.

doing stupid **** to feel something temporarily hurts you most in the end.

because before you know it, you’re back to feeling nothing and the cycle starts again.
Feeling.
Erika Dec 2018
you’re sweet, honey.

and yet the bees still buzz as if

you aren’t enough anymore
Erika Jan 20
the longing in your eyes

engulfs the deepest parts of my soul

in flames,

and soon,

the flames envelop us both

and we succumb to the flashes of orange, yellow and blue,

only to burn for an eternity

and that

is what you do to me.
Erika Dec 2018
I felt your soul leave me
before you physically did.
Erika Jan 2018
good girl

he said
too bad you’re a good girl
and I rolled my eyes
then laughed

because after I laughed,

this good girl,

blocked his ***.
Idk
Erika Feb 5
i spend my days
pouring myself into the cups of others

only to find that
when it’s time for myself
to take a sip

all that’s left
in my cup
is the remainder of a girl
who gave too much
self care is extremely important. most days I fight my depression by putting smiles onto others faces, but forgetting about my once bright smile.
him
Erika Aug 2018
him
allowing myself to fall
so completely for him
is the scariest thing
I have
ever
done.
Erika Sep 2017
"Hey, what's up"

"Oh, you know, nothing much, just hanging with the boys before I have to leave to do something that I shouldn't be"

The I said "oh nice with a couple laughing emojis followed by, I'm about to shower"
and he hit me back with "can I see"

At that point I paused because I know where this leads.

Do I play with the fire that's building up inside of me?

Of course I do, I'm a young female with needs.

So I bust out my ******* and start feeling on my chest,
because it's been a long time since anyone's felt my chest.

He opens the snap video immediately and my heart starts racing when I see his name come up on the screen.

I open it and groan, it's a **** pic.

That's not going to do **** for me.
Erika Dec 2018
marry her.
the Stigma around women who are comfortable enough with their selves and their bodies, to have more than 1 ****** partner are not ‘slutty’, ‘hoeing’ or ‘promiscuous’. They’re having fun. Everyone goes through a ‘*** phase, and almost everyone will end up married.  It’s really not that big of a deal.
Erika Sep 2018
I don’t know when my petals died.

I don’t know when the flower that is my soul stopped blooming in the morning when the sun shined in through my bedroom window.

I don’t know when the leaves that are my consciousness became wilted and flew off from my being.

I don’t know when the roots that are my spirituality gave up on hope and light and thus became broke and weak and incapable of support.

I don’t know why the sun still shines, and the birds still sing, and the bees still buzz and I don’t know why flowers die.

The world would be an **** place without flowers
Off the top of my head.

We are all flowers. Grow, bask in the sunlight, and enjoy the beauty of your life.
Erika Sep 2018
lies are supposed to be sweet.
Erika Dec 2018
I want him to be mine
forever

not just at 3 am
Erika Dec 2018
I can’t wait to start loving myself again
Erika Oct 2017
I think I like him,

but I hope that's where it ends

because I do not have any more pieces of my soul to give.
Erika Dec 2018
love looks a lot like you
Erika Mar 2018
light

whenever I leave a man,

I leave a piece of myself too.

I call it my light.

Because eventually it stops shining as bright.
Well, I’m single
Erika Apr 13
As they age,

they grow.

both in strength and in height.

in wisdom and in love,

in spirituality and in truth.

but as they grow externally,

beneath the grass, and the soil,

lay the foundation of the tree,

that sturdy something so powerful.

We are all rooted in different things.

Christ.

Love.

Hate.

Money.

Lust.

Power.

Men are like trees walking.

As we age, we grow.

But what we are rooted in,

that’s what really matters.
Erika Sep 2017
I swear

I would take a bullet for a man,

who
wouldn't
even
try
to
stop
the
****
bullet
from
hitting
me


even though

she
was
aiming
at
him.
I'm just bored. Written just now. Love you guys.
Erika Dec 2018
he read my poems
and tears filled his eyes

I’m not sure he understood
a lot of these words

grew from his lies.
Erika Sep 2017
Fourteen.
That's how many men have been inside me.
It's also how many pieces of myself I'll never get back, because I wanted to feel like I mattered to someone, even if only for a moment.
It's sad though, I can't remember all of their names.
But I swear to you, I remember the feeling I had in the pit of my stomach the second they left my apartment because just as quickly as the void had been filled, it had become empty again.
In an age where hookup culture is prevalent, and more and more young adults are interested in one nights rather than lifetimes together, I felt this was relevant.
Erika Dec 2018
and just like the sun,

i’ll rise.
Erika Dec 2018
changing yourself does
no good

unless things change about the people around you

too
Erika Dec 2018
my soul has morphed
into the black hole
of a man’s
worst
nightmare
Erika Feb 8
how many lies
can one tell
before they start
to believe them
their
self.
Erika Sep 2017
sometimes I feel too easy to play.

is that even a thing?

is it possible to be so open minded, that these playboys just run up on you,

and leave you blindsided?  

it must be,

because for every girl like me,

there's about 10 playboys
running free.

And man,
are they good at the game

of keeping us women sane,

long enough, to watch them

walk

away.
Erika Feb 10
you play me

like I’m your PlayStation

except I’m not a game

my heart can’t be won.
Erika May 2018
women are free
to do whatever we please
with our bodies,
and,
our souls,
because they are our own.
Erika Oct 2017
I woke up at 4 am
to the news of a mass shooting,
in Las Vegas.

It makes me sick,
that this is the kind of place
my kids will grow up in.

Now I just wonder,
has it always been this way?

When we were kids,
did our parents just cover our eyes,
and hide our face?

Or is all this ****,
this negative energy,

the beginning of an America

that's far more sinister?


It will be hard,
but we have to fix it.

I refuse to let my kids grow up
worried about ballistics.
Please Pray for the lives lost, the injured, the damaged, and the broken souls who thought taking lives was the answer, even though it never is.
Erika Sep 2017
pfabg

the first time I was told
that 'I was pretty for a black girl' I let it slide.

But each time after that
those words started a fire in my mind.

I had always been confused when someone told me this,
you see,
is it a compliment or a insult, or is it just ****** up to me?

At first I think the white men who tell me this,
have no sour intentions,
but as time passes I realize
that my pigment is thirst quenching.

I realized then,
that being with a black female is a fetish of the worst kind,
because they always want to know,
'what that mouth do though?'.


The addition of the adjective 'black'
made me feel inadequate,
like the color of my skin wasn't just pigment,
but an interstate for loaded compliments and was nothing to celebrate.

I know now, that if any man think that I'm pretty, he'll tell me just that. I had to meet a lot of ***** to realize that mine was already fat.  


not every white man will want to experience the swirl,

and those who do, would never tell me

that I'm pretty for a black girl.
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