Do crazy people even know they're crazy?

Or do they just drift through insanity oblivious
to their own undoing?

If that's the case,
what about people who
think they're crazy?

Are we just
paranoid
overthinkers?

Are we only
eccentric
because we are
afraid?
Or is there something more
buried far below
that we
need
need
need
to see,
but at the same time
are scared
to find
out

And
on the other
hand,
what if
we're
right?

How are we to know?
How are we to trust our mind
to tell us we can trust our mind?

She wobbles slightly, perched upon her
thin, taught rope.
She prays desperately that she does not fall
does not break.
She has perched up there her whole life, once
hopeful and excited to be
a part of the show, but
She has long since grown weary
of trying not to fall off.
She is sick of the spectacle, sick of perching
on that worn rope.
She misses the pole she once held, that blessed protection
against the wind, rain, and storms,
but it has long since rotted away, as sick of the cruel game
as she was.
She wonders, looking down, down, down
to the jagged rocks below, if it would be easier to just
fall off.
She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and
lets go
She is no longer a tightrope walker but a
skydiver
She smiles blissfully for the first time as she tries out
her new hobby.

We use metaphors in poetry.
Something dramatic and attention-catching
to stand in for something ordinary.
Metaphors are poet's best friend.
After all, a poem without descriptive language is just
a really dramatic essay.
So my question is?
How do you know when they stop being metaphors?
Would you even ever know?
If it's dramatic enough,
no one will know.

This is
Listening to my sister sob in the next room
This is
Flinching at every noise I hear through my door
This is
Watching YouTube on my computer, mouse hovering over the X on the screen, ready to hide
This is
Heart-pounding, fight-or-flight-inducing terror
This is
Mind racing, preparing excuses in my head for any possible attack
This is
Counting the minutes until I can escape
This is
A normal Sunday in the redacted house

I've known you for years
We're best friends
There are so many bad ways
that this nightmare could end

When we first met
you said not a word
Yet somehow, even then
something in my heart stirred

As we grew older
we began to get close
Never thought you could like me
a miracle, I suppose

I can't do this without you
not anymore
My heart breaks a little
when you walk out the door

I don't really trust
I tend to put up walls
But you make me feel safe
so I tell you it all

WHY CAN'T I RHYME UGHHHHHH

...



Why
do
I
always
fall
in love
with the ones
I can't
have?

It's the story of my life:
Passionate love,
but doomed from the start.
Inevitably, we
drift
apart.

I lose the friendship
I was
clinging to,
believing that this pain, I will never lose

I cry
a lot
and write a few songs,
and then,
after a while,
I just
move
on.

But not
you.

...

I swore to myself I wouldn't do this again. But this is different. We've known each other for such a long time. We're best friends! And this wasn't a stupid "fireworks moment", but an attraction built on long-term trust and adoration and friendship. THIS IS NOT A POEM

...

Words cannot describe what I feel for you. Maybe I'll try again later, when I'm not so tired, and the words flow easier
(If that will ever happen)

I wonder what it feels like
to be
human.
Something I have never been and will
never
be.
I wonder what it is like to have a
soul.
Certainly everything must be better when you're human,
right?
Humans look out for each other,
right?
I have never felt like a
monster.
But I know I must be, because people always
told me
I was.
Maybe, if I was human, I would finally deserve
to live.
Maybe, if I was human, I would finally belong, and no one would
hate me
anymore.
My family says to keep it all
inside.
They say humans are the true
monsters.
But that can't be true.
Can it?

I used to wonder what it was like to be
human.
Used to believe I was a monster simply because of what
I was.
Now I understand.
I choose to be a monster because
they
deserve
it.
I choose to ****, to rip lives apart because of
what they did to mine.
Nothing will ever
be
the
same.
I am not a monster because I am
not
human.
I am not evil because I am
different,
foreign,
unknown.
I am not feared because of my name or my skin, but because of my
rage.
I keep my promises, always.
They deserve what is
coming.
They deserve to see the same destruction they sent
me
and my people.
They deserve to weep, kneeling on the
burnt floor
as they mourn those who were
stolen
from them
cruelly.
And, if I die in the process, then I will
finally reunite
with my family in
Caelum.
My revenge will be as
cruel
as the
names
I was called.

You told us we were faking
That all we wanted was attention

Then you told us we were crazy
That we were somehow something dangerous

Then you told us we were confused
That we just had too much imagination

Then you told us we were accepted
And denied ever saying otherwise

Now, you pretend none of it ever happened
Just like we knew you would

You tried to hurt me
Tried to beat me
Ha!
Don't you know that
we
will
always
triumph?

You thought you knew better
Thought you could ruin me
Ha!
Don't you know that
we
will
always
come
out
on
top?

You thought you had power
You thought you were stronger, but
I
will
always
win

To be underestimated
is the
greatest
power
one can have

"Maybe I am cursed, maybe I am gifted
something tore inside of me now everything has shifted
I've been feeling twisted
I've been feeling twisted
Call me paranoid, call it my addiction
But I could lose my head with just a little bit of friction
I've been feeling twisted
Oh I've been feeling twisted"

I'm not quite sure I understand
Like, am I cursed, will my hands
cause anguish, torture, death and pain
Or can I use this to my gain?
every day I fall apart
use the songs to build me up
with promises of future triumph
but is prophesy enough?
Can I tame the Monster inside
Or am I doomed to be its slave
Or one day will I testify
For His will was all this pain
I have to trust in what is coming
Keep fighting, running, screaming, gunning
perhaps what is seen as cursed and hopeless
can be used to bring his gain
ok, we can do this
Together now we've got this
Alii Semper Vincemus!
We will triumph, they can't stop us
We will not surrender now
everything is going right
someday things will get better
as long as we choose to fight
So maybe I'm Cursed
But maybe I am gifted too
and maybe I can use these powers
to bring glory to You
The shifts inside me bring both beauty and pain
I sense friction is coming
and friction I crave
Sure, I'm scared
But I no longer bow to fear
I know what I've been called to do
All this pain helps me prepare

She
Likes
Boys

I’m
Not
A
Boy

I promise I'll come back to you, I promise.

Timeo
timeo
timeo
Non volo hoc
Cur hoc fit?
Auxillium
Auxillium
Quaeso, Auxillium me
Nescio quid agere
Auxillium

To all those who need to hear this:

Why give up now?
Why now, when your life is about to begin?

We don’t give up, love
Say it with me
WE DON’T GIVE UP!

Welcome to Wonderland!
Alice looks around and decides she wants to stay a while.
Inside her brain, she can be
whatever she wants.
Inside her brain, her pain no longer exists,
and she is no longer Alice, but someone
better.
As she stares into space, she journeys deep inside her mind until she finds something new
and entirely perfect.
She found somewhere worth staying.
As she developed this new world
and her lovely characters,
paras,
she stayed for longer and longer
and was never bored again.
On the contrary, she was
happy.
Happier than she had ever been in reality.
So she wondered to herself,
Why
Leave?
But her Wonderland came at a price.
Dissociation was her plague as she fought to stay present
in what was once her reality.
As returning to her body became harder and harder,
Alice gave up trying
to fight the daydreams as they
crowded
her
mind,
leaving room for
nothing
else.
But it didn't matter.
Because in Wonderland,
Alice was content
free
loved.
She belonged.
She accepted her insanity as
beautiful.
And chose Wonderland as her home.
Everyone warned her of its dangers.
Tried to keep her
in their nightmare
reality.
But Alice vowed to
never
turn
back
as she embraced
her Wonderland

When I die
I wish to be
recycled

Cut up into pieces
of useful and useless
parts
and distributed
where I'm needed
most

To serve the world
one
final
time


When I die
I don't want a coffin
Or to be dressed up and posed
as if I am sleeping
For we all know I am not sleeping

I do not want to be burned
Or preserved by chemicals that only
delay
the inevitable

I want to be a part of nature's
cycle
To be eaten by my arthropod friends
and torn apart by wild things and scavengers
To assist proudly in medicine, science, and nutrition
for all the world's species

When I die
Do not bury my body
For I no longer inhabit it

Cast that rotting sack of flesh aside
and use it for good

When I die
do not mourn me
Do not say
"rest in peace"
for I am not resting
Do not say
"gone but not forgotten"
For I am not gone, and will soon be forgotten here

When I die
Celebrate all of the memories
The good and the bad
Tell all my secrets
Read all my poems and letters
Perhaps you will finally understand me

What do you do when you
Forget
How to write
When the words inside you
Hide
Deep in the deaths of your mind
When, no matter how long you swim
Down
Down
Down
Until the sea is the color of ink,
The words still evade you.
The body is a cage
But the mind is
Infinite
And has infinite places to hide
I wish I had as much control as those sneaky little words do
Wish I knew how to hide like them
Wish the uncharted territory of my amygdala was lit up with bioluminescence
Like other, safer parts of my brain
I wish I understood
Understood why I’ve
Forgotten
How to write.

Why did we forget how to live?
Why did we forget how to love?
Why did we lose sight of what's important?

Why do we fear things we don't understand,
instead of learning how to understand them?

Why do we despise anyone "different"
and pretend to be a myth called "normal"?

Why do we mistreat God's beautiful creation,
and scorn and squirm and say it's gross?

Why do we get to decide who deserves respect, and why do we make those decisions on trivial things, like skin and age and money?

Why are we afraid to take risks, to get *****, to fall or fail?
Why do we hide from pain and blood and danger?

What is wrong with us?
What disease of human nature has cursed us so?

We go about the motions of survival without really living,
and wonder why we're depressed,
why we feel that life is meaningless.
We make it meaningless!

We need to shed the restraints of sanity!

We need to ask ourselves
WHY.
Why are we partaking in this foolishness?
Why don't we seek out something better?
Why do we settle?
Why did we stop believing in magic?

Why did we forget how to live?

Your smile
Your laugh
Your face
Your hair
Your gentle touch
It's just too much
And so unfair

You're just too beautiful
I never stood a chance
You had me, love, with just a single gorgeous glance
from those chocolate eyes of love and peace
That have me chasing butterflies
Cross fields of flowers, gentle seas
Paper masterpieces
And you feel just like a sunset sky
I see you when I close my eyes
And I could spend eternity just
watching you sleep


Falling hard, pretending I'm alright
We're opposites but we work just fine
Thinking about you all of the time
And I really really really just wish you were mine
Wish you were mine

Now I lie awake in bed
Daydreaming of what could've been
If maybe things were different
And I didn't have to be so scared
But I just fantasize instead
Of what it could be like
To call you mine


When we embrace, I breathe in your scent
You're heaven-sent
Evanescent
Like honeysuckle on evening breeze
Or morning mist
And falling leaves
And I could spend eternity
With you, I'm wrapped around your sleeve so tight
And I hope I never let go

Falling hard, pretending I'm alright
We're opposites but we work just fine
Thinking about you all of the time
And I really really really just wish you were mine
Wish you were mine

You
Can
Never
Know

It's funny how I tell you everything but this
how you consume my brain like a wild Florida hurricane
That's named after you
And it's beauty and destruction all in one

I don't want to lose you
If life was perfect, I'd be with you
And then reality wouldn't be
quite
so
bad
but
you
can never
know

Falling, falling falling, falling,
crashing, burning, drowning, dying
You are my undoing
and it's an honor
to be poisoned
by your perfectly drawn flowers
That you adorn my hand with ease
And I just ask Lord, please
Please just one miracle
I promise I'll be good
She's just so beautiful
And better than I ever could be
Why can't she be with me

Falling, falling, falling, falling
Losing the battle with these feelings
Her image haunts my mind in graceful poltergeist screams
AHHHHHHHHH

Falling hard, pretending I'm alright
We're opposites, but we work just fine
Thinking about you all of the time
And I really really really just wish you were mine
Wish you were mine
mine
mine

Broken wings have I
Seeking sunset skies
They fear what happens when I fly
Longing after sunset skies

Keeping on
Keeping on
For what else am I meant to do?
Lying broken
Bloodied wings
But I keep on fighting on for you

Crying out with broken beak
Begging for reprieve
Pleading pleading, please don't leave
Without you, don't know what I'll do

They wish for me to stay down low
righteously afraid
afraid they are, of me, you see
So they cannot let me go

I know, I know
I know so well
that suffering is sure to follow
this pain this pain of every day
is insolent and hard to swallow

Hold me tight
tight as you can
but I will sure escape
beating newly strengthened wings
I leave you in my wake

you tried you failed
to keep me here
alive I am and will not fear
anything that comes my way

Surely you have learned by now
surely I have shown you
You cannot hold me down!
I laugh for joy and fly away