starving in depression
hungry for the mania
all these shrieks and screams
sinking in schizophrenia
nah it's just voices in my head
It's just teen age angst instead
sitting in the middle of cold showers
******* to feel fed
up with these times
every single thing I do is like a small crime
It's like a record but for lonely people
in a secret app post secrets in secret places to secret people
anonymous it might be but only *** I see
it's only *** and ******* these days
and videos of suicide in freaky ways

There might be salvation
to this starvation
of *** and money, alcohol and ****
Dairy queen and Acid mothers
who bothers?

rotting
corpses all around me
cleansed of all that is
good and evil
judgement
no longer exists
we're alone to walk this earth
with nothing but fists
held high

a desperate cry for justice
solstice
turn around the page
for a blank new start

this is the time
the world is ours
to change
the future is strange
but holds great secrets
a pandora box
this is it
this is
the new order

get a job
get a wife
get a purpose in life

I keep searching the maze in my mind
morality, sanity
be kind,
rewind
to the days when I had no one
and I made it all by myself

but now it feels all empty again
studying, working,
drinking, smoking
mingling
and what is it worth for?

only the future holds the truth
unveil it like a dress
and see
everything's a mess.

the clouds
they hover
over me
i wonder
if my doings will stay
forever

deep blue
crystal clear
i can't keep on
living in fear

all I have are cigarette burns
scars on my arms
and broken bones

I am sorry
but I have nothing left
to give to you
go on and be
who you are supposed to

because I'll stay

זה מוקדש לכל הנוער האבוד שאוהב להתמרמר

Accept the love you're given
Because it's the only love you'll ever have

Depression is no longer aggression
It becomes routine and order
new world disorder

I know how it feels
See the scars I bear
Listen to the struggles I'll share
I've been there
and will always be
so lift your head up
and listen to me

It's time to learn from mistakes
even when the whole world's at stake
forever life changing decisions
to make

It's okay
just embrace the love
warm in your heart
put your hands up high
and scream
in victory

Self emotional abuse
It's I against I and it is I who will lose
in this game there are no rules
Just loss and confusion, a game of fools

As my shields break
I break down on my knees
nervous breakdown that is
no mercy no pleas

Dazed, hazed, and confused
rip my heart out and throw it to the sky
launch a rocket and make the country cry
make us free give us life
cut my life with a knife for victory I thrive

My end is my victory
my end is my loss
look down in shame
look up in pride

I don't want to die
\
\
\
\\yet

urge
urge to slit to destroy to ****
all these empty voids i need to fill
missing these emotions i used to feel
weird sensation in the dead cells
necro
nero
a fallen god of death
fall from grace
tear down your face
smear it all over the place
i bathe in it
your blood
be mine

it's your time to shine, baby

The days go by
the nights are empty

6 apples and two oranges?
equally?
give me records and maybe
I'll be happy

Materialism makes me smile
And I just want more and more
give me money give me records
give me drugs give me drums
give me girls give me knives

give me fish,  everything! I want all!
yes, all!

In the end I'll just probably **** myself before I reach thirty
disatisfactions guaranteed

release me
from these barb wires
I'm just the messenger
it's not my fault you see?
I am a simple man delivering
these words carving a prophecy
scars on my flesh
screen the visions of the end of days
not just a phase
of darkness and dawn of light
oh no,
it's the extinction of all
from dust you came and to dust you'll return
in hellfire this world will burn

I'll take you all with me
the whole ******* world with me

I bear the pain and shame of this country upon me
I am the ******* son of your political fiasco
I am the ****** spawn of your corruption
I am the outcome of your broken morals, broken culture and dead end future

I carry the weight of this world's mistakes
Atlas ain't got **** on me
I'll slit his throat like I slit my wrists
Because I can't even feel anymore
My legs shaking
Heart rapidly beating
I cant breath
A chokehold of broken hopes
Barren earths
Shattered hearts
World of fears
Fountain of tears

And I drink from it with my bruised hands as if the water is a potion of life and youth, feeling it run down my throat with pleasure... and I  ***** blood and contaminate the water forever, for all the people around me are inferior, and the supreme have already gone to higher spiritual spaces. I am here to stay, to take the beating, to hug the suffering and to embrace death as my companion, my long lost friend.

How can a person suffocate from the simple act of breathing?
How can a person in a "free democracy" get killed by the simple act freedom of speech?

How can we as a society reach different cultures and remain racist and violent?
You call this culture?
Living like vultures, stray dogs with no ideologies

We are not destroying Mother Nature
We're destroying ourselves
And alone she will remain
Knowing that we were the worst
living
creatures.

A room of my own
A new kind of sanctuary
A new kind of loneliness
An old memory of a shattered childhood

Abandoned feelings in the past
Black out

I told everyone about it
Eventually I'm disappointed
In myself.

I need to shut my mouth
No one needs to hear my problems
my passion
I'm eager to tell everyone everything I love everyone everything
But it'll be better If I'll close myself in my cage
Life is not a big diary and friends are not my psychologist

I find it weird that I'm not sad that she said no
though
It's a loss and it feels like a miss
But no reason to get angry and diss

It's ok bro, no hard feelings, see you today, hope things are okay
I still like you
But I'm okay
I guess.

Dead inside
parasites
Lost our feelings lost our souls
Eat rotten corpses like disintegrating crows

Gaia is tortured and *****
Mother earth's desecrated womb
Locked butterflies in a tomb
free world for the dead

We are pests in a planet not even our own
Doomed to eternal depression,
Kings of chaos, a royal crown of a dove's corpse
Peace? you'll find that in Hell.

Barren hopes for broken futures
Sacrifical youths to fake idols
Morals drowned in a well
Dead hearts locked in our own decaying cell

Barren hopes
for broken futures
pests in a planet that is not even our own
no dove with an olive branch
no gods no masters no life just caskets.

Engraved,
Dear,
I'll stay gold.

empty walls empty room empy brain empty womb
blank page blank mind, ideas, words, thoughts I can't find
trash recycle bin I can't win those inner demons bust my teeth in

slit a wrist open a sleeve cut a vein blow my brain
insane insane in sane out of life
nothing to gain
nothing to lose
cut me open, arachnophobia, rusty, my guts slip out in a
shape
of a noose,

hanging out hanging up face down legs floating body rotating
don't stop believing

hold on
to that feeling.

This is a battle, a war, and the casualties could be your hearts and souls.
Victims of emotion, eruption of life lust
to die for nothig is unjust
we'll never surrender
we're people of the words
writing a guidebook to love
love your friends
love your family
love your life
love yourself

yourself is all you have and all you'll be and by the end of this journey, you'll set yourself free.

I have nothing to offer anybody
except my own confusion
stuck in nowhere
a plague stricken country
a small town
locked down
and a massive explosion
of emotion
running wild in the streets

You'll forget this when it's over
But the words and the images
engraved in my mind
sanity is tough to find
in these hard times
the bell tolls for me
it's time to end my misery

introduce
the noose
twas a good time
bye bye

I am sorry for not possessing standards of society
Let me introduce my friend social anxiety
shoot at me all words and blasphemy
I'm already shattered, it
doesn't matter
anyway

Ecclesiastes is a fake and god is too
no saints no saviours no one is he
a piece of rotting flesh is the only thing you'll be
acceptance is for the holy
too bad deity is dead.

Deicide,
book of the dead, pages bound in human flesh
a man stands alone in the battlefield of life
Can't stand anymore he will cut it with a knife
Scripting a holy of the holiest, a testament in blood.

Here I am spitting words ain't worth a thing
starving, sitting alone, tired of being a simple human being
I hope no one comes ever again, enter the door of my mind ever again
never again
never again

No matter how hard you're trying
You always feel out of place
outcast with no grace
a person without a face

A human puppet with no feelings
no one really cares
they just care
about themselves

A ring of outcasts
forms a new social circle
a social circle of outcasts out casts
people like you.

How does it feel?
hypocrisy's a cruel deal.
a social circle of outcasts out casts
people exactly, like, you.

My eyes sewn shut
I just can't handle this anymore
I'm so sorry, there is no purpose
to live for.

A mouth is screaming
everyone is hearing
no one is listening
the lights are on but
no one is in the house

we live for
we sacrifice for
we suffer for
we die for
what?

A disease
set us apart
sow us together
for better or worse

a life we did not choose
a path walked by mistake
never knowing when to wake
up

red blood red
covers our hands
war vision
visions of war
and a broken casette
with smudged images of terror

raise our head or put it down in shame
it really doesn't matter, we are the ones to blame.

Drown in the ocean
Dive into the sun
Shadow swallows the moon
chaos is gone
chaos become
chaos begone
chaos is welcome

Epilogue
Start over
run for cover
he has come

Hate, hate, hate
All around me

I am
tired of
living in
fear.

Can't you hear?
The words that come out of your mouth?
Look in the mirror
straight at yourself
And say those words
again.

I bet you're scared of yourself
right now, how
are you feeling now?

Growing up in stress
growing up with hate
I'm sick of the propaganda
they create

And right now, it's burning under us
Hatred of warmonger ****
it's just a matter of time
now hit the drum
sooner or later, war will come

war is the best thing that can happen in this abomination we call a free country.

Dissolving in the air
I wish I were
I wish I were

I think I'm the only one
making this pain severe
i'm not in depression
depression is in my mind
i make myself depressed
my
mind
is
so
messed
up.

It's friday and I'm too tired and sick to see the world outside,
anyone I meet makes me disappointed and angry

Atleast I have my ****
but that is sad too
because even my *****
won't stand up.

We are in this together
this is for the hearts still beating
passion, devotion, loving
struggling against the same life we're fearing
we're in this together
looking out for each other
they say all we love we leave behind
life is not each to his own, or so I'd like to think
I always keep my friends in mind
it's our time to shine.

red.
freckles.
blue, shining
I.
see.
through you,
and I believe god has perfect timing

Here we are
one by one
never reached far
together
we help each other
to grab a piece of a cloud
a piece of the sky
and be proud

Bonded by darkness
we are misfits in our own home

They said you cannot seen colours in darkness
they were wrong

I watch from a distance
and cannot believe
how their lies
powerfully decieve
us
into hating each other
killing one another
sometimes I think
why even bother
but I simply had enough

of watching this every day every single time I open the television or a stupid newspaper, so much hatred and stupidity and not suprisingly, no humility.

this is a call
this is a call
to everyone, like you, like me
this is a call
to tear down the wall
smash down the towers
and watch them fall
this is a call

this is
our voice
no uniform
no shows
no act

just a voice,
and one day
just like the israelites destroyed the walls of Jericho
we will destroy them.

No
no way
this can't be happening
how could it be
why
why did you die
how could you
leave us alone
a feast to the lions
a feast to the devil
you disgusting creature
and you call yourself a man?
you're not even a human being
just a piece of rotting shame with two legs

a feast to the lions
a feast to the devil

Keep breathing
keep breathing
keep breathing
keep breathing

birds flying over
a mountain
full of clovers
one red in a field of greens

wake up
wake up
wake up

hallucinations filling
imagine feeling
comatose
forget the life you chose
this is
an eternal comatose
eternal
coma
coma

keep breathing

Not in rivers, but in drops
an underground stream
make way

please remember
(we are) footprints in sand
the burning of *****
the lost name of god
(I) pity the sadness
bonded by blood

Take my bones away,
march to the sea
giving their heir to the masses

Bone voyage.

Maybe I think that I...
maybe people do too
maybe I think that
I think like an adult
not really

It's an act
I act
like a kid
no tact
no thought
it's a fact
I can't believe
you bought
it
is an act.

Everyday i come back home
with a stupid smile on my face
and tears choking my throat

In the deep sea of helplessness and thought, innocence and meaning is where I float.

Authenticity
is so overlooked
Honesty aswell
but people wouldn't notice them
even if they fell
right in their arms.

People chase a stupid fantasy
dive into a virtual world
and drown in imaginary expectations
I hope your bubble pops
life is here in front of you
I've been there too
I understand, but it's no excuse.

No one is perfect
no one really has tact
sense, perception
Or any idea how to deal with life
It's all an act.
It's all an act.

the words you said to me are engraved on my arms
carved the words
into my skin
your judgement is my cold, sweet breakfast.

Sleep
like silk
covers me
makes me warm
yet I wake up cold.

Me and my girlfriend broke up a few days ago
her name was motivation
I am disintegration.

Survival of the fittest
Only
only the best
will remain

Chains of society
A new race of people
that obey orders
normal, ideal,
closed in a cage, sealed in borders

this is not the life
I have dreamt of
3 years
it just goes by
it will end
they say
they say it will go quick
fade away
I can't believe that they are unable to notice
that what is fading away slowly
is me.
Look me in the eye
swallow my tears
swallow my fears
see them tearing down my spine
i'm not fine
i'm not fine

looks like freedom
feels like death
it‘s something in
between i guess

No one blamed me
No one trapped me
I have imprisoned myself

In this room I'm safe
my ears filled with static noise
I'm safe
Here I'll grow up
I'll get old
But I know
that I will always
always
rot
In heaven.

Aggression
Depression
SO much of it
cant stand it
thoughts shooting from every corner in my brain
ricochet
decay

I want to let it out
I want to hit someone so bad
but I can't hurt others
so Ill hurt myself
self harm
dis arm
negativity
creativity
****** my skin

my scars shine bright red
and my soul pitch black.

Green eyes
hypnotize
deep blue
deep into you

Rayleigh scattering
yellow turns to red
blue goes away
I fade away

meditates
elevates
******
He ******* in a rainbow against the rising sun.

I have too much to say
but my words have no say
I have nothing to say
shut up
shut up

I am so messed up
I mess up so **** much
I am raging inside
trying to let it all loose
but nothing comes out
my mouth a cage
my words are caged
locked up inside
****** up inside

SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP

confusion
fusion
focus
my hemispheres
my mind
cannot
anymore

please stop this
please
im on my knees

found in my pocket, written somewhere in the past (not) perfect.

Cycles
cycles of sleep
cycles of life
cycles of the sun and the moon

one day
they'll break down
and then?

this is killing me this is killing me this is killing me
barricaDEAD
trapped between
four walls

I can't feel a thing besides
loneliness
im such a leech
i deserve this

going back to the army tomorrow
all i feel, thinking about that
is sorrow

royal purple
around my eyes
cough out my lungs
***** my guts

rage
fills my heart
and I just want to disappear
fight my fear
social anxiety
don't leave me alone

somehow
my words repeat
themselves
and
my thoughts repeat
themselves
but that is just me and how I feel
I try and solve it but it is too hard
sometimes.

crosswords of words I could never free from the cage in my mouth
pigeons of peace
empty of hope
heartless

I'm vomiting
and not only life itself
even words
feelings
basically everything.

i always feel so alone
even with people surrounding me
it's strange I tell you
and it sends shivers down my spine
i pretend and say "im fine"

I always try and be the best I can
the happiest I can
use all the resources around
but chains of sadness keep me bound

it's strange I tell you
I can be happy for a minute
and sad the next
always feel alone and not wanted

I guess I'm a creep
I guess I'm strange
I just want to sleep
deep
down
the sea
drown
me

brushes of pink
shades of blue
some violet, purple
and a bit of yellow too

hypnotise
my colourless eyes
paint my heart
and conquer my soul

sunbather

believe me
I may smile
but I can't sleep
my eyes burning
And I don't want tomorrow to arrive
so I'm just sitting here waiting
and as time passes by
I feel my stomach getting crushed
I feel my head getting crushed
I feel static noises
static noises
Penetrating my ears
and all my fears
coming down on me
whispering

Sitting here
waiting
wishing
tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes

pitch black
heart attack
night covers my face in shadow
and im hallucinating
seeing my body flow
in the river of blood
river nile
it's been a while
since I dreamt
I never dream

because I'm always sitting here waiting
hoping that tomorrow never comes
but it always does
it always does

LAPIDATE YOUR INSULTS AT ME
CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M DROWNING

a death of a thousand cuts
thousands of words
ripping my flesh apart

"What is thy name?"
"My name is Legion: for we are many."

.Filling my life with emptiness
...I used to be productive
But now productivity
Is like a jar of chutney
sitting in the cupboard
for years.

All I want to do,
is just sit in my room
and observe
observe it
shrouding my room
see the dust floating in the air
Like a cold, moldy coffin
And find a hole to jump  inside
and hide
my mind
colours
colours
colours
col ours
call ours
call hours
c all hours
see all hours
see the things I could not find in a minute
See a purpose in small things takes hours
I don't need a purpose.

Carve your love
all over my skin
carve your love
blood on my skin

hate me
hate me
hate me

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
    and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
    may the name of the Lord be praised.”