I put on my pretty fairy lights and lit some candles
One of my favourite movies is on the TV
I have a bowl of popcorn in my lap
It’s a cozy Sunday evening and my birthday is next week
But in my head, thoughts are racing so fast I can’t tell them apart
I feel guilty for being so intense
And I wonder if any of these feelings are normal
I wonder why I can’t relax
I wonder why I can’t stop convincing myself that you don’t like me anymore
Why can’t I stop interpreting your momentary silence as you leaving.
Leaving. That’s a scary word.
I cry a little when I think of it
I delve deeper and deeper into the pit of fear and cry even more
And suddenly I find myself praying about a situation I don’t know if exists
Stargazing to take my mind off of events I don’t know if have happened
And I wonder:
“How do other people deal with this?”
How do other people deal with falling in love
Without the sky falling with them?

I feel the panic awaken in me
Like a tidal wave in my lungs
And a ticking clock in my heart
But then you pull me closer to your chest
And I remember
I am safe in your arms
You’re a sanctuary
A shelter from the storm
And wherever we are
I know that when I’m with you
I will always be home.

I need your heart
I need your presence
And all that aches within me
Is the lack of you
The lack of your scent
The lack of your soft skin
Your absence breaks me
It splits me in half and rips me to shreds
I’m missing a piece shaped like you
Shaped like the way you curl up when you’re cold
Shaped like your messy morning hair
Shaped like the electricity between two souls
Yours and mine
Heart to heart
Together forever
Even if miles apart.

I promised myself never to give in to love
Never to let it take me
Or wreck what I’ve built
Never to let it be a noose
Or a sharpened knife
But then I looked into your soul
Your beautiful, green eyes
Your soft, brown hair
And the tuft that sticks up from your head in the morning
The way your voice cracks when you’re passionate
The way your nose wrinkles when laugh  
Your fingertips brushing over my arm
Or your thumb caressing my hand absentmindedly
Your eyes meeting mine and forming a cosmic bond
Stars meeting stars and colliding
Exploding in the space between my lips and your teeth
Because the way your hands around me feel
The way it‘s like you’ll never let go
Is enough for me to break
Because I don’t know when I’ll see you again
I need your touch and my heart on your string
Face to face, skin to skin
It doesn’t matter what I promised, because suddenly,
You’re my everything.