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Aug 2018 · 206
Untitled
Nicole Shaw Aug 2018
You find someone who says they want to try. You try the hardest you can possibly imagine. It begins to seem like they are not interested in you anymore. What did I do to deserve this backhanded attitude? Who are you to tell me you are only interested in me because I am not pretty? When did I become self conscious? How come I thrive on your attention? Why do I fall for emotionally abusive people?
May 2017 · 340
Why?
Nicole Shaw May 2017
In my heart I know it's true I do not have much time left with you. They say it's a deadly disease. They say that you will begin to wither and fade away from me. Sooner rather than later my mother was taken away from me. I watched her struggle and I begged for more time. When she finally died I asked myself "why?". There were just a few more days before I came for the weekend visit. When I was called out of school as I sat in the office I knew. When you were laying there it was not right. You were not as you would have wanted to be seen. You were taken at just the young age of 32. I was just 15... The very sad thing was the day I was supposed to come see you after you were already gone I still packed my stuff and was excited to come see you. When father asked why I was packing it finally hit me. You were so unfairly gone. I now was the one who had to be strong. Not for me but for them. Yes it was devastating for me but for them well he was only three, she was only eleven, and he was only thirteen. I still ask myself "why?". The simple answer to that question is Cancer is a *****. 13 hated himself for not saying he loved you the last time. 11 hate herself for not being there when it happened. 3 understood but still couldn't grasp on. Well then there was me... I just wish I could have heard I love you one last time! The part that ***** is I still can not say goodbye.
R.I.P mom six years and it still isn't the same without you.
May 2017 · 2.0k
DND
Nicole Shaw May 2017
DND
It seems that while I play in this vast peculiar world filled to the brim with adventures I have found my peace.In this mystical world you create yourself with no limitations. You the people who travel with me help create my peace and serenity. The greatness of this all is I have made my friends. Friends who like me want to go on an adventure that has no limits to who or what you can be. While we all live in very different worlds we have united. The power of DND has brought us together. I have found unique people to play my favorite game with me. In these worlds you have the power to create your destiny. Destiny will be found eventually...
Dedicated to the party playing with me.
Mar 2017 · 4.6k
He Was Brave
Nicole Shaw Mar 2017
She was silent, misused, and manipulated.

He was Brave. He was her hero. Brave sauntered over to Silent.

Silent was sick with manipulation and was covered head to toe in the ashes of those who misused her.

Brave raised her up out of the ashes he wiped away the disrespect and eventually gained her trust.

When trust was gained Brave became how she built her self-respect.

Brave saw beauty, intelligence,someone to love where she never did.

Soon Silent became Bold with the help of Braves ways.

Before long Bold was able to stand with Brave grasping her hand above what used to be ashes.

Together Brave and Bold vanished the ashes by binding their love.

In a short time after a river of complements flowed for anyone who ever felt silent could go.
Brave is the love of my life
Jan 2017 · 421
Trust Ends With Despair
Nicole Shaw Jan 2017
You give him love, now what?
You give him trust, good luck!
You give him your time, now you can't unwind.
You bare your sole to him, now you see.
He doesn't love you, he is confused.
He has no reason not to trust you, But he has cheated on you!
You carry his child, all the while he says pretty words to someone unknown.
You fall deep into despair when you become empty with no child to spare.
You try to trust but you can't get past something from the past.
You try to rekindle and recoup but find that he has fallen out of love with you.
Mar 2016 · 325
Untitled
Nicole Shaw Mar 2016
I'm with him... But I can't stop thinking about you! This is wrong but I want it to be right. My soul quivers when your in sight I miss you! It's easier when your not near then I see everything much more clear! I don't no much about your soul but I miss you dearly and it nearly kills me when you come near. I don't know if this feeling is love but my heart aches when you disappear! If he knew what I thought he would end it all! I know I love him but you both treat me so differently. I love him dearly but you bring out a lot of old feelings. Why did you have to come back around? Now I am stuck with this frown. I want to turn my life upside down. I try to remember our thoughts but something makes it all stop! Do I love you..... It's not clear!
Jun 2015 · 655
Wishes
Nicole Shaw Jun 2015
We can't help it! We want something more even if we won't admit it! We watch these tv shows or read these books to make our life feel complete. Whether we will admit it or not we all want something unrealistic. We want a vampire boyfriend, we want to be a witch, we want to have X-ray vision, we want a love that doesn't exist, we want to be a mermaid, we want to be a fairytale princess, we want to be or want to be with a werewolf, we want to be something more then everybody. Yes I am talking about us nerds that spend our time with our nose in a book or comic, the ones that debate about star wars and Star Trek, the ones the have seen lord of the rings over and over again. When you see us hook on reading something or watching something it's because we wish that could be us!
Jun 2015 · 745
A secret
Nicole Shaw Jun 2015
He asks me why I love him. How can I respond? I know I love him because he never once looked through me like everyone else. I wasn't invisible to him I was a human being and not a welcome mat. But there was more to add to that response the one thing I've kept hidden from everyone. He asks me why I love him. This is what should've been part of the response. You saved me from suffering! You saved me from him! You saved me from someone I should've been able to trust. You saved me from your bestfriend you saved me from my step moms son. I could have said this to you but then you might have gone off to hunt him. You might not even understand why I have kept this all to myself! Why did I keep it all to myself because the last time something like this happened no one believed me and they all hated me. I didn't want the woman who practically raised me to look at me and hate me. I didn't want to cause problems between her and my dad. I didn't want people to look at me differently and feel sorry for me. I love you because you saw me when no one else did and you saved me when no one else could...........
Apr 2015 · 432
Truth about love
Nicole Shaw Apr 2015
Love is really not what they write in books or how they explain or show you in a movie. There are no fireworks or bells, there is however kiss and tells. I am in love. He isn't perfect, he doesn't always smell perfect, he doesn't have abs, he doesn't love to cook and clean, he definitely doesn't enjoy long walks on the beach. It doesn't matter anyway, that's not love to me. Love is fighting and learning what to work through, love is long nights, love is laughter, love is security, love is feeling at home, love is great things and sometimes bad things. The point is love isn't a fairytale. Love may leave butterflies and sleepless nights but it doesn't mean a perfect kiss every time or *** that is amazing every time. There is a line between fantasy and life because if your human *** isn't amazing every time and the kiss is anything but perfect most of the time. Now the feeling that is right is when you love somebody for real you will know it's true. It might not be true loves kiss it might be a nice gesture, an amazing talk, a good sense of humor, or a feeling all inside you. The thing is we need to stop letting generations to come think that you find true love in good looks, one amazing kiss, and fireworks. We need to teach about the real love because we have defined everything else but tell me one person who could actually describe the real world love?! That right there are none.
Apr 2015 · 1.0k
use & abuse maybe a truce
Nicole Shaw Apr 2015
They use me everyday in every single way; Abuse my friendship and basically ruin it. You run your life on the letter I ; You're selfish and rude and sometimes I wonder how I can even stand to look at you. You take without asking like its no big deal, you lie to everybody and yourself because of your own fear, you ask for advice to ignore it and try the wrong thing twice. You live your life trying to be a social butterfly only to become a bigger ******* then you could even realize. Your ego is horrible! If someone seems like they have done more then you, you damage yourself to prove how much more you can do. It's not like I don't love you but sometimes I really want to hurt you; hurt you like you have hurt me. I wish you could feel the pain in my heart and the tears that sometimes run down my face..... Maybe if you could feel the real pain that you cause not only me you would grow up and actually become good company.
this is from the heart and written about an actual person. I really do hope one day she can change.
Dec 2014 · 793
I thrive on your love
Nicole Shaw Dec 2014
I find myself hating the idea of you sometime;
It might be that I am not always the center of your spotlight;
I need attention from the person I make love to every now and then;
When things get heated or I get hot headed it all can be fixed;
I love when your mind and body is fixated on mine;
I love the way are bodies intertwine;
I love when your bed is also mine.
Long nights with the memory of you right above me making almost perfect love to me;
My body whispers sweet memories to me;
Its like ecstasy between you and me.
Dec 2014 · 328
Untitled
Nicole Shaw Dec 2014
Self concerned and out right rude; I beg for attention but he just doesn't see it; the only time i am of use is when he needs something; I hate ignorant people!
Nov 2014 · 403
Untitled
Nicole Shaw Nov 2014
Once a person dies they are flawless*
What is a daughter without her mother?
Who are you going to tell all your boy problems to?
The hurt is never ending, the pain is not subsiding;
A teenage girl with out her mother is nothing;
The say once you die you are flawless, but i still see that darkness;
You had beauty yes! But your beauty found darkness in drugs and mystery;
I guess its really true what they say "curiosity killed the cat".
**** what they say, I need you;
Its sad when you have to cry to someone who doesn't understand what you are going through;
You had been through everything if anyone could helped me through the pain it would have been you;
Graudation is coming around and all their parents will stand proud while you are buried in the ground;
I guess you could say I am mad that you left me it was a terrible time.
I happy though your not in pain if you still were I would probably have gone insane.
Nov 2014 · 792
Untitled
Nicole Shaw Nov 2014
I have been extremely bubbly thanks to him,I feel like I can't live seconds without him,its the first time this has ever happened;
This love is true;
He loves me as a whole, even my extraordinary side I wasn't sure I could live with;
This love was unseen;
I thought I would never be with him, he was one of the popular kids;
This love is stunning;
Who would have ever thought we would make such good company?
This love I hope is never ending;
This proves a point love is stunning and sometimes unexpected but that can always make it the greatest look at me I transitioned from the invisible girl to dating the football player who was oh so popular and graduated :)
Nov 2014 · 1.4k
Obsessive !
Nicole Shaw Nov 2014
Obsessiveness, it angers me;
Why does someone have to pick that one person that they won't leave alone that they apparently see no flaws in ? I hate it.
He bothers every inch of me:
If he walks past me I get a creeping shiver:
He stairs at me like I am diner;
I tried to be friends but he just doesn't understand;
He annoys me when he follows me around;
Migraines, he has made them consume me;
When he is around my stress level goes from a field of flowers to buried seven feet under! I want to scream and shout and let my stress seep out but all I can do now is sit and pout.
Nov 2014 · 416
<3 To Get What I Want<3
Nicole Shaw Nov 2014
The weird thing is I never actually thought we would be together;
I spent my days thinking of you wishing you would love me too;
At this time your thoughts were on her, but she didn't care;
Its great that you realized you were making mistakes;
At this time I hated you because you wouldn't reveal if you could love me too. When you actually saw me after all that time was when I let everything unwind. My head was spinning, my thoughts unending, my emotions living. This was the first time I really got something good without being ******* only if you knew what that meant then maybe this could make things more true.
Nov 2014 · 8.2k
Society
Nicole Shaw Nov 2014
Society, it pins us against each other;
Chubby girls are forced to hate themselves all the ads that say they are not right and that makes them cry at night. They defend themselves by calling littler girls sticks which makes those littler girls suffer;
Gays are forced to hide or "pay for the crime";
We are all separated into our own cliques where we are forced to stay.
A nerd and a **** are forced to hate one another because the athletic and genus differences. Society is cruel but its hard to keep are judgement under control.
Nov 2014 · 2.8k
Prison or School?
Nicole Shaw Nov 2014
Sitting in class waiting wishing I could play in the grass.
Prison is where I am at, I'm being held hostage in class;
Can't be living in first class because this food tastes like ***.
We all sit waiting for the bell to ring when it does you here students sing;
Students are running down the halls to leave this place they want to be least of all.
Nov 2014 · 10.2k
Insanity or Creativity
Nicole Shaw Nov 2014
Insanity you speak as if it makes people impaired;
What a world we live in where people take another persons thoughts and creativity and push them aside because they see insanity in their eyes;
Insanity, I think of it as a creativity within me;
Insanity resides inside of everybody at the back of their minds;
Running from your thoughts? Why hide from the beautiful individuality in your mind. Shut down the people who hide from the artist inside;
I know you may think there is nothing to hide but i see inventiveness behind your eyes;
If people think your creativity sounds insane then do the world a favor and curse their name.

— The End —