walking in a fog
once you get out
you realize
you have been walking
in water
the whole time

you're drowning

why do i feel so sad?
nothing happened
least not really
but i am wrong
i am always wrong

that is what
they said

I believed them

why am I so scared to
love?
its tearing me apart
its something I need, I desire
yet I push them away
push myself away

movies, music, magic
its all too much
I want it but i'm too
scared

the boy
he must be waiting
for me right?
he has too, right?
for me to get a spine
and finally
find him
cause I cant wait anymore

it hasn't even been a week,
still i miss you;
i  cant stop thinking about
you
about how I ended things.
i'm sorry

i can't stop worrying,
you could my thoughts
i miss you

I cant sleep
no more
my brain is too

awake,
alert,
aware,

scared,
terrified

its
survival mode

just hit my second decade
will it be my last?

are the questions
I ask in uni
worth the breath
I waste on it?

the papers I write,
the presentations I complete,
is anything worth it?

no one knows

do not read the news
just do not
do it;
media hypes
the worst of it all
in hopes that we'll become
Paralyzed

school is cancelled
children cheer
while families fear for the
Future